Jealousy

<p>MIT is my dream school. One of my classmates also wants to go to MIT, and he made sure everyone knew it. I'm worried that he'll get in and I won't, because he'll rub it in my face if that happens. He's that kind of person. Every single day, he lets people tell him why he's so awesome that he'll definitely get in, and he reminds them of the parts of his resume that they left off that day. His personality is very abrasive and condescending, and almost no one likes him. I would pity him if it weren't for the fact that adults fawn over him, even more than they fawn over me (which they do a lot. I'm a born teacher's pet, as is he). His stats have an edge over mine: GPA, class rank, courseload (mine's more advanced but his is more STEM-y), internships, demographics. He's also competing for our programming team while I taught myself but haven't really done much with it.</p>

<pre><code> What really galls me is that I founded an Engineering Club- tracking down a sponsor, setting up fundraising, recruiting- with the help of one other person. Not him. Yet he told people (in my hearing) that I don't deserve the leadership, and that he's planning to put himself down as a founding member (which he technically is, as this is our first year), but he's barely contributed anything and I feel like it's misleading. It's not even near the top of his priority list: he signed himself up for extra obligations that directly conflict with meetings.
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<p>The vindictive part of me wants to somehow alert the admissions office that they shouldn't admit him, as it's the only way they'll get that information. It certainly won't be in his essays or teacher recommendations, and he's very charismatic as a first impression, meaning he'll charm the interviewer. It's one of those situations where you don't realize how horrible someone is until they let you get close enough to them that they let the facade slip and become condescending and vicious behind others' backs. But I feel like that would reflect worse on me than on him. </p>

<p>We're not even applying until next year, but his incessant talking about it has made me unable to think of anything else either. It's difficult to ignore as we share many classes together, and are partners in one of them. I would like to get through my junior year with my sanity intact, and I especially don't want him to get into MIT if I don't. I don't mind if we both do though. I don't like the person I'm becoming as a result of this. I know it's not a perfect world, and people like him end up on top, but I never want to turn into him which I think I may be because of the unspoken competition between us in my head. Any advice?</p>

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<p>That’s one of the only sentences I needed to read. I know that it must be difficult to have someone like that in your life, but honestly that’s not a good reason to get stressed or irritated. I suggest that you solely focus on your own application and your own life and not worry about him. Just let him do his own thing and don’t let it bother you. In my opinion, that’s honestly the best solution.</p>

<p>And if he does get in and rubs it in, oh well. You’ll only know him for a few more months after that anyway, and in the long run will that really matter?</p>

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<p>You’re right, it would reflect worse on you. And for what it’s worth, an admissions office can’t act on information like this from other students, because if they did, then what would stop one of your competitors from talking bad about you to the admissions office? They have no way to know if it is true.</p>

<p>Look at it this way. He is putting a lot more pressure on himself this way by constantly talking about how he is going to get in.</p>

<p>By the way, I’d be very interested to know whether the OP’s rival ends up getting into MIT. </p>

<p>MIT prides itself on judging personality so that this sort of person doesn’t get in, but I am ambivalent as to how well they execute this.</p>

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<p>You should try not to let this happen. Who makes the decision? Other students or a teacher? At the very least, defend your case and go ahead and state why you are a better candidate for leadership than this other person. Normally, I wouldn’t advocate comparing yourself to someone else, but if he has already denigrated you, then you don’t really have a choice.</p>

<p>You have a much better story of how you founded the Engineering Club. He can list it, but you can use an essay to talk about your inspiration for the club, how you got sponsors, how exciting it is that you’re seeing the club form and grow. Trust me, that’s worth a lot. Admissions likes to see people who go out and do things and have stories to tell, not people who paid a membership fee and got on a list.</p>

<p>That said, yeah, it’s still possible that he’ll get in and you won’t. (But if it’s any comfort, if he really is all talk, he probably won’t make it through MIT.)</p>

<p>So, what do you do in the worst-case scenario? You deal with it for a semester (yeah, it might suck), then you graduate, go to college, and stop caring. Think about whatever you cared about in 5th grade - unless you’ve been around the same group of people for the past 8 years, your cares from 5th grade probably mean very little to you now. College is even more distancing than starting high school is. You’re living with a large group of completely new people. Over time, what you care about and who you want to impress will completely change.</p>

<p>If it makes you feel any better, MIT would probably hurt his feelings more than he’s hurt yours. People who are mean are usually miserable, and if he’s basing a good chuck of his self-worth on getting into a school with an 8.9% acceptance rate, there’s a 91.1% chance he’s going to have to find a new measure of self-worth. And even if he does get in he’ll still likely have to recalibrate the way he sees himself. Either way it can be a very emotionally challenging process. Your frenemy is setting himself up for a difficult road.</p>

<p>Also, you’ll probably forget who he is in three years, regardless of what happens. Life speeds up; priorities change; the important things change. Try to have fun.</p>

<p>OP good luck with this. Hard as it will be to do, my advice is to forgive this person. This will be very hard to do, but it will improve your outlook and free you to worry about your own life and work.</p>

<p>If this person is as you say he is, then anyone worth anything will know it, too.</p>

<p>Thanks for all the advice. It’s just so hard to try to see the long term right now, but it helped to get it all off my chest and get other peoples’ advice. Collegealum314, my position is solid at least for this year, and he seems to be losing interest as time goes on, so I’m relatively secure. And I’d love to keep you updated when decisions come in, but since I’m trying to follow everyone’s advice, hopefully by then I won’t care as much anymore :)</p>

<p>I doubt either of you will get in…</p>

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<p>@satman1111:
Did someone forget to tell the MIT admissions committee there’s a 17-yr old HS student they need to consult with before making any decisions?</p>

<p>@FutureEngineer15:
I’m sure you’re realistic about MIT’s acceptances, but don’t let satman1111’s post affect your outlook. He has a long history of comments like that.</p>

<p>If everykid who is “definitely in” based on other kids’ perception at his/her school got into MIT, they would be admitting lot more than 8.2%.</p>

<p>For some reason, there are always kids strutting around in high schools claiming to be MIT material compared to all the other schools, discouraging other good applicants.</p>

<p>"(which he technically is, as this is our first year), "</p>

<p>The founding members are those who filed the charter with school. Every first year member does not get credit because they joined in first year.</p>

<p>Scumbags will be scumbags, man.</p>

<p>I have classmates like that, who walk around talking like they think the world is interested in what they have to say.</p>

<p>The best advice is to ignore him. Unless he actively tries to hinder your progress (false accusations, etc.) just let him be. Remember that maybe you’re just as annoying to him as he is to you. </p>

<p>You mention that you are partners with him in one of your classes. It would be an extraordinary triumph on your part if, instead of treating him as you feel he should be treated, you learn to work with him. Both of you (ignoring personalities), sound like high-achievers. What if you tried working with him in that class?</p>

<p>The most important thing is to maintain respect. From what I can tell he’s done nothing to harm you, only irritate and anger you. Don’t let those emotions translate into stupid decisions (i.e. emailing the admissions office). </p>

<p>Don’t let it get to your head. Be respectful, just nod when he starts babbling, and ignore him. You are free to keep him out of your life and your mind.</p>

<p>Stormcloud: That’s what I’ve been doing. I’m pretty sure he has no idea that I dislike him so much. This is the first time I’ve vented about it, so I apologize for how vitriolic and self-pitying it came out. It’s just so hard to maintain the facade of the girl who gets along with everyone all the time.</p>

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<p>My advice? Facades are exhausting. Don’t do them unless you have to. It doesn’t mean you should go out of your way to make this guy an enemy, but you don’t have to pretend to like him.</p>

<p>My approach with blowhards is to try to ignore them. You will meet many in life, and in most cases they are massively insecure people who are trying to put on a brave front. Possibly he is worried that you will get in and he won’t. If your classmate does go to MIT, I suspect he will experience a few humbling moments. That’s an unwritten GIR :)</p>

<p>Do not, under circumstances, contact the admissions office about this. It will just make you look immature and foolish.</p>

<p>Read othello by Shakespeare. Jealousy consuming you like this will only stand in the way of your success. This is like drinking poison and hoping the other person will get sick. </p>

<p>Concentrate on finding some other schools you like as well. There are a lot of excellent programs in this country. There’s no reason to get so focused on one. </p>

<p>I’ll chalk it up to your age, but I will also say that you set yourself up for a lot of disappointment if you think one school is "all that ". </p>

<p>As mark twain said. There are two tragedies in life. One is not getting what you want. The other is getting what you want. </p>

<p>Good luck to you</p>

<p>You are already excellent. I think you should just be yourself and don’t let the other person affect your life.
Find some other school you might want to attend. The bottom line is not to be jealous. Enjoy your success and good luck to you!</p>

<p>Also George Bernard Shaw: “There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart’s desire. The other is to get it.”</p>

<p>And Oscar Wilde: “In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.”</p>

<p>Looks like Shaw should have been brought up on plagiarism charges.</p>