<p>So I have a question…are any of you planning to go on the OVs with your son? Are parents supposed to go? I am not planning to go (I am a teacher, so getting time off is very hard, and we can’t afford double the plane tickets plus hotel for me since most of his are DIII), but I was just curious what the protocol is. </p>
<p>@1HappyDad: Congrats to your son as well! I am right there with you - my thoughts and emotions are all over the place with this process! I know he wants DI, but I worry about engineering and swimming DI (and the fact that then he would train during breaks and not be able to be home). I am thrilled with his prospects right now, but I also don’t know how in the world he is going to narrow it down to just a few to visit. I keep hearing that 5 is too many (regardless of division), but what if you only take 3 and you don’t get an offer from any of those and you’ve blown your chance at the others? </p>
<p>Our son does not want us to go on the OVs but my husband is not so sure. My husband really wants to go because he wants to go to the football games ;). My son is looking at schools with really good football programs and fun experiences around the games! The one definite OV at this point happens to be at the same school our daughter (class of 2013) attends. It would probably be a good time to visit her too. We will NOT attend anything with him and not see him but hopefully get good tickets ;). Most of the schools my son wants to go to are over 500 miles away so they would be a flight for him (paid for) but we would have to get there ourselves so I am not sure. I honestly do not think most parents go. My friends who have older college swimmers did not go. We do have one local swimmer who had her dad with her at every visit and the other kids kind of made fun of her the dad is a bit overbearing. </p>
<p>I did go on the two OV’s my daughter took. At the DII school, there were 5 recruits and all had parents along. We drove (about 2 hours) and all the rest flew in. I learned a lot. She’s going there.</p>
<p>For the DIII (Smith), we flew, and drove about 1 1/2 hours. However, the school didn’t involve me at all (my daughter called and asked me if I wanted to go on the public tour, and that was it). I think it was a mistake to not involve me. My daughter didn’t like the school and I couldn’t really discuss it with her since they hadn’t sold me on it either. Schools can pretend that the decision is up to the 16 year old, but really? She was 16 and was not going to make a $60k/yr decision without my input.</p>
<p>Other coaches made us feel like it was a family decision, which it was in our case, since I have another child in college too. My daughter had been to some schools without me (my brother took her to a lot of schools over the last few years) but those I took her to had a much better chance of recruiting her.</p>
<p>If you don’t go on the visits or haven’t seen the schools, I think it is going to be harder for you to discuss and compare when your son is making his decision.</p>
<p>@twoinanddone Thanks for your story. It is a hard decision. All of the schools my son is looking at - we went to the junior days with him so we have seen the facilities and met the coaches. There is only one school that he is considering that we haven’t seen. I would like to be in the last meeting with the coach when they discuss scholarship possibilities but my son is pretty quick on his feet so with some coaching from us I think he will be fine. Time will tell. </p>
<p>Another OV question. My daughter has been invited to an OV at a D3 school after a preread. We haven’t visited the school yet, though on paper, it is one she is definitely interested in. I am thinking she should visit first, then commit to the OV. It’s a 3 hour drive, so not hard to visit this summer. Does that sound reasonable? Or is it that once you get a yes on the preread, she is pretty much committed to doing the OV. </p>
<p>Also, I see someone above mentioned accompanying their child on the OV. From what I gather, the activities are really focused on the swimmer, and not the parent. I’m not understanding how I would accompany her. I was thinking this was a drop-off/pick-up kind of thing. Is that right?</p>
<p>One of our OV visits was a drop off/pick (except that we live in FL and it was in MA, so I stayed in a hotel) and the other was an overnight where they got hotel rooms for us in groups of 5 recruits for the weekend. New team, so no one to stay with on campus, plus the other 4 were out of state so their families came too.</p>
<p>At the drop off, I met the coach and my daughter went off with her friend. The next day I joined her for the public campus tour, but then she went off again and we left that night because of airfare being much cheaper. At the one I stayed overnight, we all went on a tour, then the kids stayed and ate, went to a soccer game, and then we picked them up. We stayed at a hotel about 5 miles away (on the beach!) so they needed transportation. The next day each family had a time to meet with the coach. Maybe it only worked because the team is new, but I liked it.</p>
<p>I spoke with my son last night and he basically told me that I will not be going under any circumstances. All of his friends who went through this last year went without their parents, and that it was always really awkward for the one kid who had his parent there. Guess I will hear about it afterwards! Lol. </p>
<p>@VMT I think it’s a great idea to go visit the school beforehand if you can so she can at least get a feel for the school. Maybe she’ll love it and maybe she won’t feel a connection. If she does, she’ll be excited for the OV. If she doesn’t, then she won’t waste a visit there. </p>
<p>My son is having a really hard time figuring out which OVs to take and how he’s even going to narrow down his choices. How are your kids deciding?</p>
<p>Unless there is a large distance to cover and therefore travel costs, we would at least drop our son off and see what is going on. My son just went on a prospect day, and they addressed the parents and noted they could come back to see the final scrimmages - as if they otherwise did not want them around but clearly a few stayed.</p>
<p>The worst part is that my son got a few minutes to talk to the coach, but his “competition” for the coach’s ear was a host of parents, who all kept asking “so, are you going to offer my son a spot?”. This was D3, so he couldn’t really offer anything anyway. IMHO, even if they are welcoming to parents, it’s pretty darn embarrassing to have your parents asking the coach what your status is.</p>
<p>When my son got to around U13 in club soccer, parents were told that they should NOT speak to the coach about their child, that their child needs to get used to talking directly to the coach. By U15, it was obvious. I can’t imagine U18 players being considered their parents’ children in terms of talking to the coach.</p>
<p>Financial considerations are different perhaps, but a coach should be saying “I want you on my team” before money comes into it, you would think that conversation needs to be between the player and coach.</p>
<p>I can understand the student wanting to go on his own, but if that is the only contact with the school, the parents being left out can influence the final decision, and it did in our case. My daughter only had one chance to visit an OOS school. She was only 16. I just don’t think she could make the decision without me and I couldn’t sell her on the program because I didn’t know anything about it. That may have been part of it, that they only want kids who can make the entire decision on her own, that money doesn’t play into it. That wasn’t my daughter’s situation.</p>
<p>It would have been my situation, though. My parents weren’t involved in my college choice at all. Of course, they didn’t pay either.</p>
<p>@lovemyswimmer. Yes my son has pretty much told us the same thing. My hubby just wants or selfishly go to some good football games!! I wish we had the problem of deciding which OVS to accept! I think he is just laying low until after his national meet. If he swims well than I think he will get more invites. The calls are still coming but only a couple official invites. He is really just concentrating on the meet that starts on Monday right now - which is the right thing to do. It will all work out in the end. We had a tragic death to a very close friend in the last week and it puts this on in perspective !</p>
<p>Thanks everyone. I wanted to share a recent story. My son had a school that skyped with him before July 1st, asked him for his grades and score on June 30th and then never followed up. I finally convinced my son last night to email the coach with “want to make sure you got my email from a couple weeks ago”. The coach responded within 10 minutes apologizing for not getting back to him but wanting to schedule a call for after y-nats. So, the point is, I think the coaches sometimes wait on the swimmers interest and/or they just get busy. We may have read too much into his non-response. </p>
<p>@ahsmuoh, you are totally right! We had a coach say he would call back a couple of weeks ago, and he didn’t. We emailed him a week or so later with no response. We had completely written him off, but then today he sent an email saying he had called a couple of days ago and was waiting for my son to call him back. My son never received a message, so he didn’t even know to call him back! Hopefully they can connect tomorrow. I have to agree–I think that sometimes they wait to see if the athlete will take the initiative. </p>
<p>What is your son swimming at YNATS? Are you going, too? Good luck to him!</p>
<p>I have to agree with the two prior posts. D sent out transcript info about 10 days ago, and didn’t hear back from three out of 7-8. After sending a follow-up today, she was contacted by the two most competitive schools pretty soon after sending. Seems like coaches don’t want their time wasted by athletes who aren’t very interested.</p>
<p>@Lovemyswimmer and @acemom Thanks for sharing your similar stories. This helps me understand and I will continue to encourage my son to reach out if he doesn’t hear back as timely as he would like. @Lovemyswimmer my son is swimming the mid distance/distance free 200,400,800 and 1500. Does anyone else have a swimmer going to y nats or junior nats? Have your kids had their taper meets? My son leaves tomorrow. My hubby and I will be going too. His team thinks they can be top 3 this year and his 800 free relay has a chance to win they think. Could be fun. </p>
<p>Well Y Nats is done. It went well. My son swam much better than he did at spring nationals but not as well as he hoped…but still was on the podium for all of his races. Trying to keep our identity private by not too much detail. He did get to speak with several coaches that watched him swim. I am actually taking my older daughter back to college this weekend but we will have a discussion with our son on how to move forward with recruiting since he now has the times that will be considered. I think one or two of his dream schools may be out but I think he swam well enough to keep most on his list. We did find out that one of the schools that initially contacted him now has him off of their list. The coach told my friend (his daughter will swim for them next year) that they are only recruiting a couple boys in the class of 2015 and it is not in my sons races. Nice to know that information. </p>