We chose not to run, as @blossom would say.
While the elite schools may be the only schools guaranteeing that all need is met, many other schools meet full need for some students. If you’re talking about elite school level stats, you may very well find plenty of schools that are affordable.
Both kids did as much as they wanted in hs. They quit activities. They didn’t take all the APs or “self-study” for any of them. Both went to schools never mentioned on CC (but have similar stats to many that are–what you get for living in flyover country) and graduated without debt. One just finished a master’s and is working in a position where she can use it. The other, without all the engineering hand wringing that seems to go on here, is an engineer with a FAANG company on the west coast. Not saying there weren’t “moments” in hs or that it was a stress-free La Dee Da experience, but it doesn’t have to be the sheer hell of hours of studying, ECs, volunteering, and absolutely no time for oneself. Just choose not to run.