<p>Since I've joined this board it's somewhat disturbing to me as a parent to see the level of obsession and stress that some of these kids put themselves under with school. I have to think that there is more to a teenagers life then what you often read here. I copied this post off of another thread this morning as an example, when my D came home from the test I asked her how she did and she said well that was the end of it, lets wait for the scores. I just fail to understand why young adult's take it to these levels.</p>
<p>I don't know if I should cancel the scores or not. I really feel that I did exceedingly well. I wrote an awesome essay (10-12 range), had 4 body paragraphs with an intro + conclusion, so I really developed my 1 example well. I felt math and sentence completions were REALLY EASY; I don't know why everybody was calling the sentence completions as hard. Now I've gotten kind of concerned because I could have messed up some of the sentence completions, but I always get at most 1 wrong on those, so idk.
There were 2 weird reading questions: one asked about the different usages of "patriot...patriotism" in the double passage; the answer choices were: (literal, metaphorical, cynical, respectable, sarcastic). I left that one blank. Also, there was one about the photograph where it asked why the author would use "something...stigmatism...something"; that word means focus on something. I narrowed it down to B and D; B said "insisting that..." and D says "emphasizing that the woman in the photograph felt bad about her current condition," so I chose D as the more mellow answer. What do u think? Should I cancel? I'm aiming for near the 2300 range, and I know i left 1 blank CR, 1x Writing, but I'm pretty confident on everything else.</p>
<p>No, it's not healthy. I quickly stopped reading the student forum threads because the level of obsession with test scores and "Ivies" made me nervous. I should be reading a good book or something rather than hanging out here, but these kids REALLY should be doing something more productive than sending out chances threads and comparing test scores.</p>
<p>^^^^I could not agree more. A sad state IMO. Kids need to be kids, have some fun! You're only young once! However, in all honesty, since finding CC not so long ago, I observe the very same obsession & stress coming from many <not all=""> parents. And with kids at younger & younger ages.
Just my observation.</not></p>
<p>I have to laugh. After my daughter took her standardized tests, she couldn't tell me much about them -- either because she didn't want to talk about it or she had already moved on and forgotten the questions. She didn't dwell on them. After one of her SATs, I signed onto CC just to read the students' reaction to the exam she took, because I was curious. And left pretty quickly, because the obsession was overwhelming. </p>
<p>When I was in HS (and I went to a pretty competitive school), we would compare notes after the exam and look up some of the vocab words. So I see where some of the conversation comes from.</p>
<p>I think we see the most obsessed ones here, and they let their obsession out into the open because it is anonymous. And for parents who come here, it's nice that we can obsess with each other and take some of the pressure off our kids. But I agree that some kids are much too invested in this stuff, and feeling too much pressure to be perfect.</p>
<p>Honestly, I don't know why I post here sometimes because I was definitely not like any of those students in high school, I only applied to one school that would be CC-approved (and I don't go there now)...makes me feel like a lazy idiot in comparison sometimes.</p>
<p>My son isn't crazed either BlahDeBlah. Of course his father and I have never valued prestige in colleges and fortunately, our parents didn't either. We also live in a community where the majority of people are not prestige hounds. I do have a couple of friends who lust after Ivies for their kids. Makes life harder for their kids imo.</p>
<p>I was glad when I found this site initially. I wanted to get feedback on some schools and financial aid info. I have quickly become disgusted when I see that kids are just wanting the best test scores and EC's regardless of what they have learned in the process. They also just want the ivies, for the pure and simple reason that it is an ivy. I will grant you there are some state schools where we live, that I really don't want my children to attend. I will also grant you that there are some private, slesctive schools that I want my children to apply to if they are intereseted in the value of the program and its merits. I do not want my children to be limited in their application simply because we are lower middle class, but just above the "glorious" cut off for federal monies. However, in a short time, I have come to realize that many utilize this site for reasons that don';t compliment my value system. I now look at this site diefferently and in some respects feel sorry for the experiences that many of these students seem to be missing out of.</p>
<p>No this obsession is not healthy. Nevertheless we as parents need to understand that some of the postings we see here are signs of immaturity. All the chance postings are just a way to get rid of anxiety. The posters will soon realize that chance is what it is - a chance. I joined this forum when my DD was applying. I found the nervous chatter by a few individuals vanished once they settled for a school. Some of them have moved on and don't post anymore. What I find disturbing is some post unsubstantiated claims and comments which may mislead naive readers.</p>
<p>I have to admit I'm obsessed; it's just for a good fit for my kid. No Ivies, but a lot of great schools. An admit to Grinnell has made me less crazy. My son could go anywhere he wants to go from this school. But I'm an impatient waiter. Thanks to CC for keeping me amused during this Cone of Silence.</p>
<p>I've read several articles which have been negative about the pressure that students and parents put on themselves during this process. I remember a particular article in Money magazine about a family who had one gifted child and the financial pressures that we put on them in order to be able to send her to special summer sessions at Duke for example and to hire a high end placement service to work with her. They couldn't share the same degree of support for the other kids in the family. To some of these kids it's like getting a 850 on your credit score. I think alot of kids don't realize that these are the best years of their lives, it doesn't get much better than this. Best to enjoy while you can.</p>
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I think alot of kids don't realize that these are the best years of their lives, it doesn't get much better than this. Best to enjoy while you can.
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<p>Ray111-- I believe that students need to know high school is **not **the best that it gets. Life as a young adult and then as an adult is "better" than the pre-adult period of high school. I think what is misunderstood is what makes any time in your life "good" or "better."</p>
<p>Is high school "great" because the parents often pay for most essentials and perhaps provide extras? Is this what makes life wonderful? I don't think so. </p>
<p>My S is looking forward to being more on his own. I have limited my financial contribution to college so that he has to contribute to the process. With that being said, he has full choice of where he attends. He is in the extreme minority of the students at his prep school since almost all the parents have essentially taken over the college decision making process for their S or D. THERE is where so much of the pressure comes. Living up to Mom and/or Dad's expectations.</p>
<p>I have offered to provide S an option to going straight on to college. I offered an around the world ticket, but he has to pay for everything else for that year. He has risen to the occasion, setting up jobs and planning a travel agenda that fits within what he has to spend. </p>
<p>I have a great deal of involvment at my S's school but it is related to volunteering not making his course selections, telling him when and how often to take what standardized test, etc. Nor did I select his interests outside school or provide tutors for the standardized test. He mentioned several guys that he knew who were required to go to prep courses all summer to prepare for the SAT. He asked why anyone would want to get admitted to school that he only qualified for based on this level of extra prep. </p>
<p>I have yet to see any student that I believe has high anxiety that does not have freaked out parents looking over their shoulders. </p>
<p>Many parents on CC simply are seeking advice or want to share their experience. However, many are on the quest to get the inside scoop on how to get their kid in the "right" scool. If that was left to the student with reasonable guidance from professions, I believe the process would not be as insane as it is for many students and parents.</p>
<p>Dad don't want to debate as we all have our opinions and none are right and none are wrong, but as I look back at my HS years in the context that I was discussing they were some of the best in my life, surrounded by 100's of friends you grew up with for all those 12 years in school, warm and comfortable in the security blanket provided by your parents, hardly a care in the world, job stress limited to flipping burgers at the golden arches, no bills, no college prof assigning 100's of pages of reading and tests that you really had to study for. The world starts getting alot tougher after you leave HS. Do we spoil our kids sure by my dads standards? sure, but I guess at least I can't help it.</p>
<p>I think 07dad was saying that the HS years are not the best years for eveyone (thank God!) and when kids who are totally stressed out or unhappy in HS are told this is as good as it gets, it can be depressing. I know I was told this by my GC when I wanted to leave HS early for college. He was wrong--I was much happier in college with a like-minded peer group and I'm even happier now, in my 50s.</p>
<p>07DAD - With regard to advising your son about course selection and standardized test, your son goes to a prep school which presumably has knowledgeable and involved guidance counselors. For kids attending many public schools, the situation is a little different. Our high school does not provide adequate advice about which courses/standardized tests are needed for application to selective colleges. Unless a parent or student is keyed into this through information obtained from sources other than the school district, a student may find himself lacking in tests/courses that he should have taken when it comes time to apply to college. In this case, more parental involvement in some aspects of college preparation is needed, as the parent is filling in for what the guidance counselor at a preparatory school would do.</p>
<p>As my S moves towards graduation from HS, I realize that one of the real benefits of the prep school is the counseling office. I have great respect for any parent who has to find out about, analyze and respond/react to what is required to get the college application/financial aid/merit scholarship process completed.</p>
<p>I believe that it is still preferable that the choices of courses and EC in HS be that of the student. That means parents have to advise but ultimately go with the student's choice. Same with college choices. Once the student is given the amount of the parent's financial commitment, the student can assess the cost of any particular college as part of the decision making process. </p>
<p>THAT is not something that the counseling department at a prep school is prone to willingly get involved with, except when the HS student is on a HS scholarship.</p>
<p>I agree with what you're are saying. That's very true. However, keep in mind, there is a vast difference between guiding one's child through the college app process & obsessing to the enth degree about SAT's, GPA's, ECA's, etc.....starting when the child is in 4th grade. It is so very sad to see the pressure on little kids.</p>
<p>BlahdeBlah- I hear you! I feel like a lame, slacker parent when I read here most of the time! I'm glad I'm not alone :) My kid drove the bus during this process. We were the supporting cast. We knew this was what HE wanted, not us.</p>
<p>I agree with both of the above posts responding to me. I was just commenting on the fact that 07Dad emphasized that he did not need to get involved at all with course selection, standardized testing, etc. while also stated that his son's school provided excellent guidance on such things. A parent of a child whose school does not provide adequate guidance may have to fill the role that a competent guidance counselor should, without going overboard and obsessing, micro-managing, over-pressuring, etc.</p>
<p>Mother of Two how true, we have an excellent guidance dept but they are just overwhelmed with Kids. They couldn't give the level of guidance and oversight that was necessary with my D. She was on the bus but in the mid to back rows. The biggest issue was just getting her to finish the things that needed to be done so we could get the app's in. I knew her guidance person well from my two boys so we did do a fair amount of E Mail back and forth. On the proactive aspects of D in the latest process, I'll do it later just wore me down and it stopped being a democracy and turned into a bit of a dictatorship.</p>