<p>Just by pure coincidence, I had a meeting in the same state my son is in for college (far, far from home state). So I picked him up from his school and we flew back home together - almost like the dropping off experience being playing in reverse.</p>
<p>And in many ways - for me - it was more emotional than the drop-off. As I was in his dorm helping him to pack a few things to bring home with him, several things struck me. This was him home now in many ways. It was a mess, of course - the same mess that I always came to expect in his room at home. And friends of his kept dropping by to wish him good luck - friends that he seemed close to, but of course I didn't know at all. </p>
<p>And for some strange reason, I found it strange that he was leaving a bag of dirty clothes there. He said he'd do them when he got back, but it was a strong reminder to me that reinforced that he was now living apart from us. Not depending on his mother to do laundry? Inconceivable.</p>
<p>Sounds like you are melancholy, proud and ready to face the realtiy. He is on his own but you are paying during this transition. I commend you for recognizing that his dorm is his new home....despite the mess, the laundry left behind and the friends you "know not". Great post. I hope you give your student the space and freedom at home to become in your space the new person that he is in his own space....that is your true test.</p>
<p>I was sad this morning-
my girls are 8 years apart- very close- but my younger daughter doesn't usually talk to her sister when she is away at school- the transistion between connecting with her- and not having her here is too hard for her.
However- now that it is getting close to her sister coming home for a few days- she is letting herself get excited- it was sweet- but sad. :(</p>
<p>( its hard for me- now that she is a senior- knowing that previously she came home for breaks inc summer- once she graduates- she isn't planning on coming back-)</p>
<p>The Reed magazine has a few articles about the transition</p>
<p>A pat on the back.......I am sure you will savor every moment of these coming holidays. One thing too look forward to is the two girls visiting away from your home and the fun trips you will get to make for visiting both girls. </p>
<p>Note: planning and having you send a ticket to visit are two different realities! Save those miles!</p>
<p>Thanks.....I remember clearly my first family visit to my dorm room at BS and then at college. I recall my mom being really good about the whole thing and how I felt unsure, inclined toward the defensive......it was through the wisdom and assurance of my parent that I could keep the "new sweater" on get to like it. I know that my family missed me.......I know that I felt so unsure and in the end it worked out great for me. I also know that I will always be greatful for the opportunity to bring the new sweater home, a little bit too large, not quite sure of the color....all of that. Just being able to let them see the new sweater was the beginning. Many families cannot manage this. Your shared story was wonderful.</p>
<p>digmedia...I look at it this way. From the moment our children are born we are nurturing and praying to God(or someone) that they grow up to be respectible, responsible adults. Parenting is the most imoportant job in the world. If it is neglected and taken for granted, the impact the outcome has effects many. It is the "lazy" self absorbed parent that helps contribute troubled adults to our world. So the emotions that run through you now are the results of your caring and excellent parenting skills throughout his young life. Sounds like a great kid. Pat yourself on the back and take up golf...</p>
<p>The first time your kid starts talking about going "home" and you realize they mean their dorm at college is a little heart wrenching..but its great at the same time..it means they are adjusting well.</p>
<p>We pickup ours at the airport tomorrow night. My W and I already agreed that it will probably take only about 2 days before she is ready to return. It should be an interesting visit. D had plans with the HS friends, but they have already let her down and are going to do their own things. D has a backup plan to spend some time with a friend from college who lives about 30 minutes away. So she is coming home to visit, but will spend some of the time with a friend (just a friend, not a boy friend) from school.</p>
<p>There was an article (maybe from this forum) about how the Thanksgiving break is even more laden than the drop off, because of the contrast between the expectations/struggles of the returning kids to that of their parents. We parents are just filled with longing and the desire to recapture the sense of family, and the kids need to protect their still fledgling sense of independence. It is the clash, they say, that can lead to stress and upset. In my case, I have some lowered expectations, because my son is coming home with a friend from a far away state. I know, therefore, that the possibility for one-on-one chats will be even less than normal (altho the friend is coming a day later than my s.) So, wanting this to be a fun vacation for all, I'm going for as laid back an attitute I can muster, so that I can just enjoy his presence when I have it.</p>
<p>We are all getting excited for her to come home. It has been stressful for her finals and having to pack up her stuff and move into a new dorm. But it all seems to be coming together. Her youmger sister is counting the days.
My D told me today that her boyfriend wants to pick her up at the airport. Sensing our sadness she said quickly that he would bring her right home. Or we could come to the airport too. She is home for a month so I know we will get plenty of time with her but those first few days will be hard sharing her with friends.</p>