<p>Hi, I noticed when my son came home this time, a new air of maturity about him, in his speech and manners, and a more confident young man. The down side is he seems to be a little depressed at leaving friends/girlfriend and is up most of the night. (only been 3 days) I know he is happy to see his family and is looking forward to Christmas, but I think the month away will be hard in some ways. When he left for school, he had 1 close friend and a few aquaintances from his all-boy high school, but made what he felt were nicer friends at college. I guess having your schedule suddenly changed is hard on anyone, but I wondered if other parents noticed good or not so good changes when their son/daughter came home. Did most want to stay, go back, neutral?</p>
<p>Debruns~</p>
<p>I also notice some subtle changes each time our son returns home for breaks! </p>
<p>Our son goes to school 1250 miles away, and he <em>really</em> enjoys coming home to see his family and friends. He is the only one of his friends to have gone out of state, and I continue to be amazed at the constant support that his buddies show him. When we pick him up at the airport each time, there is usually a group of about 15 of us! <em>lol</em></p>
<p>Because his gf is still here and because he has these lifelong friends here, he is not at all conflicted about coming home, but he knows many friends who, like your son, miss the college environment when they are gone, either because of a gf, friends, or just having something to do all of the time. In fact, he just got a call from one of his college friends two nights ago who was telling my son that he could not WAIT to get back to school. In fact, several of his college friends have told him this.</p>
<p>So, I can definitely understand your son's feelings. I think it is wonderful that he feels so connected and "at home" in his college environment. That is exactly what I'd wish for every college student!</p>
<p>I hope y'all have a fabulous holiday break! </p>
<p>~berurah</p>
<p>We are so happy to have my D home. She is DEFINITELY more mature, has become a nightowl when she used to be in bed by 10 PM, and doesn't get up til almost noon. She's also far less self-focussed and more outward with concern for her friends. Most have not arrived home from college yet, so we've enjoyed her company the last 2 mights since she arrived. Friends start coming home today, so I'm sure she'll disappear for a few days to show up again for Christmas. </p>
<p>She's very happy and thriving at her chosen college, has had parts in 2 plays, sings in 3 groups, took 5 credits instead of 4 and came home with a 4.0 for her first semester. Her a capella group is starting a tour of the west coast on January 3rd for 10 days and I know that, already, she can't wait to be back with them!</p>
<p>DS is having an okay time at home but I know he is looking forward to going back to school. Some of his friends are not home yet, he has one or two still in HS but he has outgrown our small town. It is a pretty boring place with little for young adults. We are enjoying having him home and he is catching up on his sleep, etc. He reconnected with his former wrestling coach and helped out at an away tournament yesterday but I know as the years go by he will become more and more a visitor here and it will be less his home. That is as it should be...I am happy for him that he is not wishing to come "home." When I read the posts of kids who want to transfer closer to home or are unhappy at college I think that they don't understand that you cannot go backwards in life. If they were to come "home" they would find that their old friends have moved on and that the ones who have not moved on are no longer as interesting to them.</p>
<p>I haven't noticed a significant change in my freshman son. Well, maybe for the first ten minutes, when he wasn't arguing with his brother about football, but that's about it. He has slipped a couple of times and called college home (haha). His high school girlfriend attends the same college and lives nearby, so that helps. He was concerned at first about making sure that it was okay to leave to see her or his friends, and I found that touching.</p>
<p>
[quote]
She's very happy and thriving at her chosen college, has had parts in 2 plays, sings in 3 groups, took 5 credits instead of 4 and came home with a 4.0 for her first semester. Her a capella group is starting a tour of the west coast on January 3rd for 10 days and I know that, already, she can't wait to be back with them!
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Wow! Sounds very cool. </p>
<p>D also had a successful first semester securing a very nice research gig in a lab only open for upperclassmen, assuming (being selected for) a leadership position in her sorority, and making both Ultimate Frisbee teams. </p>
<p>She gets about 5 calls a day from college friends. In high school she would get that many a week but they would all be from kids wanting homework help. LOL. </p>
<p>She left home pretty confident and self assured but she has recognized more things about herself, is really searching for meaning in her religious life, and is finding that her goals (and maybe her dreams ) are attainable. If anything, she has become more focused. I didn't think that was possible. </p>
<p>The one neg is that she did not take kindly to the A- she received in her writing seminar. Mind you she had never written a paper longer than two pages prior to college and there were zero A's given in the class but still.....She is Not. That. Pleased. LOL. (Her first non A ever). </p>
<p>I'm actually kind of happy with it in a wicked parental sort of way. She didn't need the course as she had tested out of it with AP credits and took it because she knew she needed it for future success. She says she feels confident writing papers now ("although it takes me twice as long as my friends"). We discussed again that she chose the heavy writing school when other options were available. She also knew this was the good prof that graded hard. She says she could (and should) have done better. AAARRggghhh. </p>
<p>But Dear old dad is loving the break. Today she is alllll mine. Lunch, shopping for mom's Christmas, just as soon as she wakes her lazy butt up sometime around the crack of noon. LOL.</p>
<p>Edit: and having only a shower at school means that half of her waking hours are spent in the jacuzzi tub. We have zero clean towels for dad and I end up drying myself on a ratty threadbare "carwash" towel every day.</p>
<p>
Girl, you crack me UP!!!! :D This reminds me of my son....whenever we pick him up at the airport, we have such a huge group that some of us hang back, but S's youngest sister and brother RUN up and JUMP on him!!! That flies for the time at the airport, but after that....watch out! ;)</p>
<p>~berurah</p>
<p>My daughter came home from study abroad and started building cities in Sim City on the computer. Go figure.</p>
<p>Berurah, that reminds me of my younger twin girls when they see their brother....they really miss him,always crush him at first with hugs. Then they argue. One of the twins started to use his room to study sometimes, just to be "close to him" I think. When I told him he might find some of her things in his room, he didn't get upset, just mumbled something about "not eating in there". (that's a change!) I'm VERY happy that he is happy at college, but since he developed a relationship with a girl (his first serious one) I will encourage him to make sure he "diversifies" in his friendships. I would hate to see him feel out of the loop, if they break up later. He was so happy to find a nice girl that doesn't drink, smoke and thinks he's wonderful too, I hate to rain too much on that parade. (not that he will listen anyway) : )
Glad everyone is doing so well, let's hope for continued health and a renewed body and mind when they return to school.</p>
<p>My eldest turns 20!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! today! You gotta be kidding me! I'm not old enough for that.</p>
<p>He has a huge face - wisdom teeth pulled on Tuesday. :(</p>
<p>Happy 20th birthday!</p>
<p>I hope that your son feels better soon! It took my son an entire week until he was not miserable any longer.</p>
<p>LOL interesteddad. MY D has spent much more time with the Sims than her parents.</p>
<p>Changes at home since she's come? It's sweeter here now. But also messier.</p>
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LOL interesteddad. MY D has spent much more time with the Sims than her parents.
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</p>
<p>Yeah. I had to laugh at Sim City, since she had just spent four months studying urban planning related issues in five major cities of the world. </p>
<p>She couldn't keep her computer cities from dying! Pollution troubles, mostly. Virtual reality meets reality, I guess.</p>
<p>S actually opened the car door for me when we got back from the airport!
Good thing I was sitting down--I almost fainted. He brought a bunch of textbooks home, dumped them on the kitchen counter, and started talking about this class and that, "Here--read THIS. Here's a paper I wrote for such and such," etc. I've never seen him this interested in academics.</p>
<p>Other than that, same old bad habits--playing with his (now long) hair, spending all day on the computer, stressing me out with stories of how he almost didn't get a ride to the airport and other tales of irresponsibility. OK, I've seen my kid--can I send him back now?</p>
<p>Oh, and in an ironic web of tangled ethics, she came home with a copy of the plagiarized book the Indian Harvard freshman had 'written', "How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild, and Got A Life."</p>
<p>She had bought a bootleg counterfeit copy from a vendor on the streets of India.</p>
<p>Oldest has been living at home this year, the junior got home late Monday and the freshman got home last night. It is great having them all home. Subtle changes but nothing major. One thing that has NOT changed - I went to the fridge to pack something for lunch today and the thing looked like it had been vacuumed :)</p>
<p>Well Shennie, I've learned by now -- the first thing I did was go to the supermarket WITH my son and spend $150 stocking up. It's a big change to have the frig filled to the brim -- and he did a great job cooking lasagna that night. </p>
<p>The big, amazing change? I went to work the other day and when I got home, all the dirty dishes that had been in the sink that morning -- a sure sign that both kids are home -- had somehow been transported into the dishwasher. I have never seen that happen before......</p>
<p>
Wow, this sounds SO familiar! <em>lol</em> ;) S gets along with just about all the sibs now, but his youngest sister drives him BATTY!!! <em>lol</em> She's 11, on the average. :) Half the time she acts five...and the other half, 17!!! Her exuberance can be overwhelming, and she's <em>really</em> LOUD. Also, she's got the worst temper in the family. All of those things do not make for a great relationship between S and her! :eek:</p>
<p>S has gotten used to "sharing" his room too....in fact, his two brothers occupy it when he's gone, and we have a mad scramble when he returns. But S is SO much more tolerant of this "intrusion" than he used to be, though like your S, he's not fond of the occasional residual crumbs! </p>
<p>I think you are wise to encourage your son to branch out and make all kinds of different friends. Putting all of your eggs in one relationship basket can be risky in the long run. But I can certainly see how the newness of this budding relationship with his gf is very compelling! I am <em>really</em> happy for him that he has been able to find such a compatible gf! </p>
<p>Hope your holidays are happy! ~berurah</p>
<p>Still waiting for DD - been gone for 5 months in Chile, was in Peru last week, but is now back in Chile and coming home Saturday morning. Yeah!!!!!!! We plan to make some fresh whole wheat bread and have it waiting for her - she says she has had only white bread, white bread and white bread there.</p>
<p>anxiousmom:</p>
<p>It'll be great to hear the stories. She went to some amazing places. </p>
<p>My wife and her mother took a "girls trip" to Machu Pichu, Cusco, Lake Titticaca, and the Gallapagos Islands a couple of years ago. They came home raving, especially about Machu Pichu.</p>