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<p>Awesome…</p>
<p>Pizzagirl- I completely agree with your comments on graciousness. I also agree that the cc comment is obnoxious and uncalled for. (I attended cc, got a good education there and did very well in life).</p>
<p>I like to hear that a student is happy with the school he/she will be attending whatever school it may be. The only thing better is when you talk to them after they have been at the school for awhile and they tell you that they love it :)</p>
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<p>Somewhat understandable due to Mellon Bank.</p>
<p>Pizzagirl and the others give it a rest!!! The kid made a comment, you don’t like it leave it don’t torture the poor kid! </p>
<p>He’s also speaking a generalized truth. My daughter got into two Ivy League schools and there was behind our back talk about how my husband must have pulled some strings even though we had absolutely nothing to do with it. Could it be that she was salutetorian (sp?), had varied ECs, and great test scores? No, we must have bought her way in. In many communities there is an awkwardness that comes with top schools, like it or not. Are these schools for everybody? No. Do many parents and students wish they could get in even if they were to turn them down? Yes.</p>
<p>Yeesh - CC can be so evil sometimes!</p>
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<p>Nice one. Or simply “how exciting!”</p>
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<p>The only way to defuse that awkwardness is with graciousness and excitement towards everyone’s choices, whether Podunk or Ivy. And to rise above it all with a certain “it’s all good for everyone” mentality.</p>
<p>friend—so where’s your s going
me–washington and lee university
friend–oh you mean, william and mary?
me–(thinking, you’re kidding right) but saying while smiling and nodding
…um, no washington and lee
friend–washington university?
me–no, washington and lee, a small liberal arts college in Va
friend–is it in DC?
me–um, no</p>
<p>I understand one may not have heard of a particular school, but to me it’s so funny to imagine that folks actually think we are “forgetting or confusing” where our own kid is headed to college?</p>
<p>friend–so where’s your d going
me–new college of florida
friend–oh, the new school, I’ve heard that’s a great school
me–no, similar name, but actually it’s new college, it’s one of Florida’s public colleges
friend–oh that’s a private school isn’t it
me–um, no
friend–why is she going there
me–she found it to be a perfect fit for her, it’s kind of artsy, strong academics
friend–so she wants to study art?
me–um, no, psychology
friend–then why would she choose an art school?
me–it’s a liberal arts college, actually Florida’s honor’s college</p>
<p>same friend upon seeing my d over a break–so how are you finding art school?</p>
<p>smile and nod…</p>
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<p>Including a bit more of the quote for context, because Pepper03, this is exactly what my D1 is doing, for the same reasons. The state school name she uses is one that would be a super-ultra-safety for anyone at her school, but since it’s not local, it wouldn’t be used by families looking to save money. What’s even better is that the school’s personality is a great fit for D1. Other students, especially those who don’t know D1 particularly well, aren’t quite sure if it’s a joke or not. I agree that it would be snarky if she was saying this to other random kids, but the misdirection is aimed, appropriately, at a specific group of people.</p>
<p>When some of the parents at the school ask me where D1 is applying, I smile and say that she’s just telling people she’s applying to Cal State ***, which pretty immediately ends conversation. It’s very useful with some people. ;)</p>
<p>When asked where S wanted to go to college and I didn’t feel like talking about it, I usually answered “Oh, he’s going to apply to several places”. I don’t recall anyone pursuing the topic further. </p>
<p>Personally, I wouldn’t do intentional misdirection–too easy for “thinking about” to turn into “is going” and become persistent.</p>
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<p>With each of my pregnancies, strangers always used to ask “do you want a boy or a girl?” My husband once answered, “actually, we were hoping for a very large lizard.”</p>
<p>No hijack here, carry on.</p>
<p>I assume that those of you who hate to answer the “where are you applying” questions don’t like it because of competitive or judgmental issues? I mean, the person on the other end of the conversation may actually possess some useful information, especially if you are pursuing an unusual major.</p>
<p>“new college of florida”</p>
<p>Seriously… could they NOT think of a better name? We laughed when we got their advertisements in the mail. Do they offer a marketing degree? Maybe someone there could help.</p>
<p>^^^
I agree - can you picture the think tank “brainstorming session”?</p>
<p>Hmm, What should we call the new college?
I don’t know. What do you think we should call the new college?
(turns the the person on the right)
I don’t know. What do you think we should call the new college?
(turns the the person on the right)
I don’t know. What do you think we should call the new college?
(turns the the person on the right)
I don’t know. What do you think we should call the new college?</p>
<p>and somehow, at the end of the session, they decide that the best name for the new college is New College</p>
<p>?!?!?</p>
<p>I second the feeling that UG is being judged harshly here. Some kids are visibly embarrassed and self-deprecating if they hear a classmate is going to an elite school and they’re going to the local state school or somewhere similar. It’s not necessarily anything UG is thinking or doing, but rather the other person’s attitude which makes the situation awkward. Believe it or not, some kids really aren’t all that excited about their school or about college in general. Furthermore, for some students the college application process was an unpleasant facing-of-the-music that perhaps they did not apply themselves academically the way they might have. There isn’t a great way to turn the conversation around if the other person feels inferior. No amount of graciousness can cover that entirely.</p>
<p>I’ve experienced something similar with athletics. If I sincerely congratulate a parent on his/her child’s good performance that day, a typical response I get is a mumbled “Oh well, thanks, but she’s not a star like your D.” If I go on to make an additional positive comment like “Wasn’t that a personal best time/distance/point total for her?” the awkwardness can grow worse. Some parents are proud of their children abolutely (did child perform well for him or her), and some are proud only relatively (was child better than most or all others?). It depends which type of pride you’re dealing with.</p>
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<p>They were probably hoping a very generous donor would come along that they could rename it after.</p>
<p>I don’t think Undergraduate was being rude . </p>
<p>During college, my D went on a cruise with some girlfriends during spring break. There was a group of young college guys on the same cruise. They spotted the girls early on and immediately came up to them and struck up a conversation. They hung out that night in a group. They danced. Then one of the guys asked where they went to college–it was a top school. In a just making conversation way, one of the girls then asked “And where do you all go?” It was an average public state school. (I mean we aren’t talking UVa, Berkeley, UMichigan, etc.) </p>
<p>The young men didn’t talk to them for the remainder of the cruise. The girls were disappointed. They weren’t looking for a serious romance–it was a week-long cruise. They just would have liked to have had some guys to do things with in the ports of call. But as soon as the guys found out where they went to college, they lost all interest in them. </p>
<p>You really don’t have to do ANYTHING for some folks to be intimidated by the fact you attend a top college.</p>
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<p>Well, one doesn’t necessarily respond to everyone who asks the question the same way.</p>
<p>My D going to a private school. My wife is ask during a meeting (about 15 people) at work where D is going to school. Tells them the school. Co-worker blurts out, “wow, that is really expensive, how are you going to pay for that?”</p>
<p>Walking dog with my D a neighbor asks where she is going. She tells and the response, “are you getting schlorships?” smile and nod</p>
<p>I don’t tell them where I’m going to college. If they ask, I name a 4th tier college somewhere so they can let out their superiority complex and laugh at me. Then I laugh harder inside.</p>
<p>“Carnegie Mellon.”
“Like watermelon? [look of shock, disappointment, “you can do so much better”]”
“No, like Andrew Carnegie.”
“Oh. [Visible look of relief, excitement, pride]”</p>