<p>Every single time I tell anyone where S is going to college (3000 miles away) I get the “why so far away” question.</p>
<p>And often whenever anyone asks where my D is looking --she’s a junior interested in some private schools in CA and WA-- they tell me it’s too bad we don’t live in that state so she can get in-state tuition.</p>
<p>My son’s high school has very few students who leave the state to attend college. Most of them attend community college, join the military, go directly into jobs, or attend the state flagship.</p>
<p>Well-wishers confidently assure me that with my son’s high academic accomplishments he will receive a “free ride to any college he wants to attend.” </p>
<p>Smile and nod, smile and nod.</p>
<p>I don’t usually read entire 4-page threads, but this is a good one, and one that many of us can relate to. I agree with several posters that the winner is:</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Wait a minute — this is true, isn’t it? They accept all lesbians, waitlist bisexuals, and flat out reject heterosexuals. Got it. I’ll spread the word. ;)</p>
<p>^^Skyhook - YES! He should have been able to get a free-ride at Harvard with his smarts! Yeah… right.</p>
<p>I am loving this!</p>
<p>4 years ago when Son had chosen Duke (in the midst of a very public sports/sex related drama), I can’t tell you how many people responded with “Is going to play lacrosse? (snicker, snicker)”</p>
<p>I got tired of that, so I started responding, “No, he’s going to be a stripper.”</p>
<p>This was a while ago, but back when D transfered to Wesleyan–</p>
<p>“oh, isn’t that a girls school?” (no, that’s Wellesley).</p>
<p>“Oh, I visited one of those once” (no, you didn’t; it’s not part of a “chain” of schools and not in any way connected to other schools with the word "Wesleyan in the name, so it isn’t “one of those”.)</p>
<p>And, when I told a neighbor S was attending Columbia, she said–“that’s a teacher’s college, isn’t it? I didn’t know he wanted to be a teacher.”</p>
<p>A friend, who is a Harvard alum, asked about D’s college search. I told him that she had applied to 10 schools (including some Ivys) and managed to get into all of them. At that point, he opined that she should have applied to some reach schools. I explained that she only applied to schools that she wanted to attend, but I fear he did not get the message.</p>
<p>On a personal note, centuries ago, when I informed my mother that I was going Cal Poly SLO to major in Environmental Engineering she looked me in the eye and asked "What is that? Walkling around a park with a stick with a nail in the end picking up trash?</p>
<p>We live in a place where less than half of graduates go on to college, and only a handful leave the state. Almost no one has heard of Williams. Of those who have, it’s a women’s school, or a tech school, or a cooking school (Williams-Sonoma perhaps? LOL) . When we say it’s in Massachusetts, inevitibly people tell us Boston is such a great city for college. And maybe she’ll run into their daughter/niece/hairdresser’s godson who goes to college there too. Sometimes I’ll explain it’s actually at the other end of the state in the Berkshires, but smile and nod is easier.</p>
<p>For a while, Harvard was D’s first choice. I can’t tell you how many people said to us “Oh, I wouldn’t go to Harvard for undergrad. Grad school maybe, but not undergrad,” to which I was sorely tempted to say, “Of course you wouldn’t go because you’d never get in!” And do people really think it’s any easier to get accepted to Harvard for grad school, such that D could just “decide” to wait until then to attend?</p>
<p>But then when she declined Harvard, she had a lot of people tell her she was stupid or crazy. Yup, she’s really slumming going to Stanford, which sometimes elicits the “Is that in Connecticut?” question.</p>
<p>I was a Range Science major in grad school. Got a lot of blank stares and several people thought I was studying how to build a better oven. I would reply, “No, it’s like Home, Home on the…”</p>
<p>Other Mom: I heard [son#2] got into Northwestern. You know there are a lot of smart kids there.
Me: Yes, he’s thrilled.
Other Mom: Are you sure he can handle it? It might be very intense for him.
Me: I’m sure he’ll be fine.</p>
<p>I guess “Other Mom” had heard something about my son’s academic stats through the rumor mill that didn’t match reality! My son enjoyed this story.</p>
<p>Smile and nod, smile and nod…may become my new motto!</p>
<p>Another uncaring mother here sending her poor unloved son 2000 miles away to Colorado College where “at least he’ll be able to ski all he wants”. “I certainly hope he doesn’t join one of those cults they have in Colorado Springs!!”</p>
<p>soze - so true that “those who matter know” but hard to remember sometimes when it’s your own family making the comments.</p>
<p>I wish everyone would just stick to missypies three options (post #14)</p>
<p>People sure do have some great ways of pricking each others’ hopes and dreams, don’t they? It’s good to see it here, and remember what a common experience it is. I know my daughter is hurt by comments like these, takes them to heart because she’s too young to have seen a billion such teensy barbs go by. Smile and nod is a great way to ward them off, because they will always be with us.</p>
<p>Off the subject … mamakin, is “Range Science” really a geological thing? Or… well, I have no idea and it sounds interesting.</p>
<p>Where is you son going to college?</p>
<p>Vassar</p>
<p>Really, when did Vassar turn co-ed? Thought it was an all girls school.</p>
<p>They just went co-ed 40 years ago.</p>
<p>““She’s going to Bryn Mawr? Why? Is she a lesbian?””</p>
<p>I heard this many, many times. In my experience, it was usually phrased, “Bryn Mawr? I thought you were straight.”</p>
<p>One of my sisters went to Barnard. A then-friend of my mother’s told my mother that unlike HER son’s school (Penn), Barnard wasn’t really Ivy League. With friends like that, you don’t need enemies. The friendship was over by the time my next sister enrolled at Brown. :)</p>
<p>When I told a MINISTER at our church that PackSon1 was going to school on a NROTC scholarship and that he would be an officer in the Navy upon graduation, she said “Why is PackSon doing that? Isn’t he really smart? Couldn’t he be a Dr. or lawyer?”</p>
<p>Another person asked “What’s the point of going to college if he just wants to be in the Navy?”</p>
<p>GwenF - I was studying the ecology of range environments, especially soils. So I also got a lot of “You want to be a doctor of dirt?” jokes.</p>
<p>This is an awesome thread. QM and zooser made me laugh out loud!</p>
<p>When my S or I would tell people where he was applying, the response was almost always a blank stare. If someone asked why he wants to go so far away, or how could I send him so far away, I wanted to shout TO GET HIM AS FAR FROM HERE AS POSSIBLE! (Meaning far from “here”, not far from us)</p>
<p>Ahem… I’m ok now… :)</p>
<p>PackMom, you and DougBetsy must be so proud of your sons, Congratulations to them and a big THANK YOU!</p>