<p>I enjoy this thread, but I have to admit that I hadn’t heard of most of these schools before I was on CC - especially WashU, and most of the LAC’s mentioned. I knew the Ohio schools, growing up in Ohio, and had a friend who attended Kenyon. But the rest of them, I would have had no clue a few years ago. I do ask parents of seniors where their children are going, because they usually like to talk about it. It seems Point Park near me has a good theater program, I would never have known, just thinking of it as a small college in downtown Pittsburgh.</p>
<p>I use the smile and nod technique a lot though, for other things.</p>
<p>MomofJandL - I usually follow up to hearing about a school I don’t know about with asking about where it is or what they will be studying. I feel like because of CC I know of a lot of colleges at least by name so I always try to remark if I have heard of it before and say something positive I may know. I think the tone of how any questions are asked though make or break them! And even if I may be wondering in my head if a school I hear of was their first choice or last resort I try not to let that come through at all. Especially since I know how rough the admissions process was this year and how uneducated many parents and students are about safeties/matches/reaches and keeping the right expectations.</p>
<p>Congratulations, always is appropriate. Nothing wrong asking for info about the school. I knew we were going to get it with S2 going to a state school (from a prep school where few kids go to SUNYs) and that Colorado College was not going to be a known entity. </p>
<p>I just wish there wasn’t this almost pity look and tone. I understand it. I admit I wish my two had picked more mainline schools that have some social clout here. Yeah, I am a bit of snob that way. Somehow, though, I didn’t transmit those feelings to my kids. None of them took the elite factor into consideration. They looked for certain things they wanted in a school. Maybe it was cuz they couldn’t have named 10 colleges off the bat that didn’t have major football teams before the app process. So they had no preconceived notions.</p>
<p>Last month, when I listed my son’s top three choices when an acquaintance asked, she responded, “But would he want to go to TEXAS??” (I love New Englanders.)</p>
<p>I have a S at a T20 and a son at comm. college. I have seen how difficult the transition is for students from our tinsy, rural school. They are so totally unprepared. I can say with all honesty I am very excited for parents (and kids) if the kid is going anywhere to get post-secondary training. There are many bad components to the rural crap midwestern school. The flip side is there is not this incredible pressure and one-upsmanship that seems pervasive in some areas. This is a good and bad thing.</p>
<p>What I thought was weirdest was this comment that I got repeatedly for S1, after people found out he got into Yale SCEA and had to wait until April to hear from Notre Dame–“Well, I guess he “could” go to Yale if he “has” to.” No one even knew where Yale was.</p>
<p>Luckily, we kept the scallywags at bay, as he did get admitted to ND.</p>
<p>My D is at the College of Wooster, we have lost count of the “that’s in Massachusetts, isn’t it?” (probably because Worcester is pronounced correctly around here), so we now add “it’s between Cleveland and Columbus”.</p>
<p>D is headed to UVA in the fall and she has heard everything from “Do you feel like you are settling” to “OMG Congrats” so she has learned to accept the good wishes and try not be bothered by the stupid, the usual way of life!</p>
<p>shillyshally…same here. D will be attending UVa OOS. She’s one of the top kids in her prep school with excellent stats and has heard repeatedly, “Huh…You’re going to a state school? I thought you would have gone to like an ivy or somewhere really hard to get into. You’re really smart. I’m sorry.” We could say “UVa” here, and people wouldn’t discern it from any other state school in the nation. Oh well! She’s taking it well. Go Wahoos!</p>
<p>While visiting Brandeis for an accepted students day, we were sitting with other parents at a presentation. We mentioned that my son hadn’t decided yet, and that my son’s other choices were in Texas. One of the other mothers burst out, “that’s bizzare, why would he want to go to Texas?” </p>
<p>We live in the northeast, and many people here don’t think about the south or west. We have many relatives in Texas. Son is happily going to Rice.</p>
<p>I’ll ask about generally merit aid if I know the parent well and we each know that our childrens’ stats are similar. Last year when Son was going through it, I’d offer some general info if I knew that the parent to which I was speaking had a child with similar stats.</p>
<p>Regarding college costs, what irked me is when my MIL asked what college costs nowadays, and then proceeded to make us feel like we’re indulging our children by paying these exorbitant prices. Well, I’m sorry, but it costs what it costs. Yes, we could send them to community college or in-state public universities, but they don’t want to go there and I’m not going to force them to. S has a merit scholarship and D will surely get one too, so we’re not even paying full price. She went on and on about how a certain private university only cost $5000 a year when one of her children went there. That same school is close to 40K now. It is what it is. I don’t like it, either, but I’m not going to try and make somebody feel bad for making financial choices regarding their children’s education.</p>
<p>I wish we had never told her how much college costs, because now we’ll never hear the end of it.</p>
<p>MomofJandL, it takes a lot to offend me so you could ask just about anything. But, really, it helps to throw a “That’s great!” in front of it.</p>
<p>Ex: “Why did he pick THAT school?” could come across as scowling. But, “That’s great! Why did he pick THAT school?!” just comes across differently. :D</p>
<p>QM is the definite winner. That was classic.</p>
<p>I overheard this one at work. I do not know the full context, but it was not said jokingly…
“Oh, Case Western, I guess you have to go there if you can’t get into JHU.” Geez.</p>
<p>Slightly Off-Topic:
When visiting my mother this weekend, she mentioned that when my older brother was born she told my grandfather (paternal) his name to which grandpa only replied “You know that can be changed.” Grandpa wasn’t always the most tactful of people. Actually, he had assumed that my brother would be named after my father.</p>
<p>I recently stopped into the small Catholic college where I used to adjunct and talked to a few of my former colleagues. </p>
<p>One of the guys has a son who, like mine, is a junior in HS. His son attends a public high school, has a 98 average, plays the cello, and wants to major in math or music. We started talking college situations. They are looking at conservatories, because of the cello playing. He says “The counselor told us not to even talk to other people about it (where they were applying and all that) just to do it. I know that might sound kind of snobby {uh, yeah}, but that’s what we’re looking at. Some of these places have 4% acceptance rates.” </p>
<p>Our son attends a private HS, has about a 91 average and plays computer games. I said that our son is considering a religious vocation and we are looking at places with Religious Studies or Theology programs. After we left his office and were heading off in separate directions I heard him kind of snort under his breath and say “religious studies? Spppttt”. DH and I agreed that our son’s plan is one that tends to elicit strong reactions one way or the other.</p>
<p>Aww, now I feel like I have such nice, upstanding acquaintances…darn, they don’t make for very good stories! </p>
<p>Just kidding…in reality, for the most part I’ve been very lucky. The most I’ve gotten is something like, “Oh, Carnegie Mellon? Where is that located?”. So then I tell them it’s in Pittsburgh. Occasionally, I get “Ah, and where is Pittsburgh?”, which definitely concerns me - are we really that California-centric? - so sometimes I’ll say “It’s in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.” But no big deal…</p>
<p>Smith was another school I was seriously considering…but I never got any lesbian comments or anything. Nothing more that “oh, that’s a women’s college, right?”'</p>
<p>I had one person says - “Oh, Johns Hopkins? I didn’t know you wanted to be a doctor!” Well, you’re right - I don’t! </p>
<p>I think the best reaction was when I was telling a person who, for various reasons, I assumed would not have heard of Carnegie Mellon…so I started saying, “Oh, I’m going to Carnegie Mellon, it’s --” only to be cut off by “WOW! Carnegie Mellon?!?” Now that was really nice to hear!</p>
Thank you for posting this. <a href=“I%20would%20have%20been%20one%20of%20those%20who%20thought%20oh%20-%20Scripps%20-%20oceanography%20-%20San%20Diego.”>i</a>*</p>
<p>Someone in line at the grocery store asked me where I am going to school; I told them I am going to Stanford. The woman then proceeded to “console” me by telling me how tons of people who eventually become incredibly successful are rejected by the University of Wisconsin all the time.</p>
<p>I just smiled and nodded, but inside I wanted to die laughing.</p>
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