I recently was accepted to Yale University SCEA for the class of 2022 as an Ethnicity, Race, and Migration major. I’m extremely excited and blessed for this and would attend immediately save for two things:
My sister (class of 2018) goes there. I'm individualistic to a fault, and I don't want family friends saying "Aww how cute you went to your sister's school". I want to make a name for myself.
I like other schools better. I didn't apply to them early because they were all ED and I didn't want to be bound anywhere. I visited Rice through SOAR and really loved it, but my parents are worried that it's not at the same caliber and of distance (I live on the East Coast). The one worry I have about Rice is that housing is not guaranteed all 4 years. I'm also applying to Duke, Princeton, and Dartmouth.
As you can probably tell by my name, I am a geeky individual. Rather than huge ragers I’d prefer a quiet movie night or a nice Mafia game. I’ve also suffered from mental illness and thus students being happy and wholesome with a lot of support is very important to me. Do any of these schools ‘vibe’ with this description more than the others?
My prospective majors are African American Studies, History, Environmental Studies, and Sociology (clearly not all of them but it depends given the school and their offerings).
Ignore item #1 completely. Literally, take it off the list to consider and banish it from your brain. So what if some family friend makes a cute comment? Be mature enough to pick the school that makes the most sense for you.
You’ve applied to a lot of high pressure schools for someone with mental illness issues. NONE of these are going to be low pressure. I’d actually pick Yale over all of them if you want a quieter, more studious atmosphere with people who are fairly accepting. The other schools on your list, not always as much. Bigger “bro” cultures are every one of them vs. Yale.
My suggestion is to talk to students at each school you are admitted to (every school will have student ambassadors, or reach out to people from your high school) and learn about their lives outside of school and outside of how they’re advertising it on the website/tours. You’ll have a better picture of your life there.
Follow your heart, if you want to go to Yale, then go to Yale, who cares what other people will say. If Yale is not for you then go somewhere else, you are clearly smart enough to go anywhere. Only you can know what will be right for yourself. Personally, I suffer from a lot of anxiety so I am not applying to those top schools, because I know that they are not right for me. I am applying to middle tier schools, and I feel great about it. Apply to whatever school will make you feel good about being there.
If you have struggled with mental illness, then I would evaluate the schools on the professional support they can provide. And I understand why your parents would worry about Rice if it is so far away. Check out what different schools offer - limited to X number of counselor visits? unlimited support and 2/7 health center? You didn’t give any real info on your needs, and you don’t need to, but just keep the topic in mind.
Supportive students are nice but that’s random and even in the nicest, laid back schools you can end up with drama in living situations or major. And in the most pressure cooker atmospheres you can find supportive, “we are in this together” students.
You do have advantage of having sister at Yale that should be able to give you honest feedback and who knows what you need.
There are kids like you at every school. Try to visit after you get acceptances (there are people who get in Yale who don’t get in Duke, etc so you don’t have all your choices yet).
Hi intparent. While I think you make a fair point, and I am perfectly fine going to my sisters school (though wouldn’t prefer it) if it ends up being the right school for me, your delivery was a bit…terse. I’d appreciate recommendations without digs at my maturity level. Thank you!!
Please note I may have been interpreting your delivery all wrong but that’s how it felt.
Thank you everyone for your responses! I really appreciate it!
To snarlatron - I realize that LACs may be more suited for this description, but they are far too small for my personality…if that makes sense.
Also I come from a high pressure school so I’m not unfamiliar with that kind of environment. Really it’s more of finding the support I need.
To scmom12 - I was asking multiple sources about community health and counseling at each school so I have a general idea of each school. Rice appears to be the most conducive but obviously I don’t go there. And I hope I’m not sounding presumptuous with my school choices…I know it’s a crap shoot.
I don’t want this to be a prestige thing as I wanna go where it’s best for me; I’m aware that all 5 schools are top 15.
Um. I wasn’t “terse”. I was direct. You asked for feedback on an open forum (and I noticed you have ignored everything I said – seriously, if you want quiet, mature students who will be accepting of you, your list is kind of out of whack). Fundamentally it IS immature to worry that your sister is at Yale, and some family friend might make a comment. That family friend won’t be paying the bill, dealing with your issues if you have more mental stress, and likely won’t even be around for the next 50 years while you reap the advantages and disadvantages of your final decision.
Hi intparent, I didn’t ignore what you said; I’m greatly appreciative of your input, I chose not to respond to it as I found it useful. Clearly it’s too late to really add anymore schools and have a quality application. Please don’t call me immature I was simply stating my issue with it. I respect your opinion though.
And not to sound defensive, I did feel at home at these 5 schools albeit for different reasons. I am confident in my schools. It’s just a matter of support networks. Thank you so much for your input!
If you knew your sister was at Yale, why did you apply early decision? That was your first mistake. Now the only option is community college or a state university.
And I do think I may have misconstrued what I want. I enjoy vibrant and lively people. I’m an extrovert through and through, I just won’t really participate in huge frat parties. I’m not opposed to them however.
If you go to Yale, “just the same school as your sister” is not what will immediately come to everyone’s mind. The first thought will be more like “very well known, academically strong, famous school”.
The main thing that comes to mind regarding Rice is that it is a long way away. If something goes wrong and you want to go home for a weekend it is not likely to happen.
Duke, Princeton, and Dartmouth are all very good schools, that also fit well into “very well known, academically strong, famous school”. I also have some concern that these are high pressure schools, but I think that you know what you are getting into.
You identified two reasons why you are not excited about Yale as an option, first, you want to follow your own trail and not your sister’s, and two, you preferred Rice (and maybe some of your other RD schools).
In terms of blazing your own trail – the two of you will not overlap as students so unless you major in the same department or live in the same college she did, her former path and your actual path are unlikely to cross much. The upside is, you already have some familiarity with campus through her experience, and can be more knowledgable/focused in your choices. The downside is, and this may be the tricky part of comparing schools – you already have an insider’s experience at Yale so you are comparing two different kinds of experiences when it comes to Yale vs. other schools you visit. You know what she found frustrating about Yale, what she loved, etc. whereas the other schools all seem open and full of possibility because you haven’t spent the last 3 years listening to your sibling talk about her experience. So, the preferring other schools part of your concern may be partly because you know Yale better, and the “rose colored glasses” are off, whereas Rice, Princeton etc. are experienced solely through the prospective student experience so far.
Rice is a wonderful school and the students I’ve known from Rice were devoted to their school. As a parent, I understand the concern about a freshman with a history of mental illness being a flight away instead of a several hour car ride away. While there are plenty of quirky kids at Dartmouth and Duke, they both tend to attract more “mainstream” party hard kind of kids, with prominent greek life. Princeton is intense, the grade deflation is a real phenomenon, though it is drifting somewhat upwards still, and there is the eating house situation which people either love, tolerate or hate.
I hope you have parents who will go along with your decision to go where you feel you will be happy (as they should). One factor you don’t mention is relative cost. If you need financial aid, Yale (and possibly Princeton, if you get in) might be the least costly. For schools that are relatively close otherwise, cost may be a factor to consider.
All you can do now is investigate as thoroughly as possible which of your eventual options is best for you. I think intparent was simply suggesting that from a longer term perspective, things like the comments of certain relatives or comparisons with your sister from people who know you both (which would be almost no one at Yale) are of little significance. You can disagree with that, but other people (like your parents) might think something similar, and would want to know what other reasons you have for your choice.
I am intrigued by the idea that LACs (which might have 2800 students) are far too small for your personality. I don’t really know what that means, though if you don’t want to consider LACs you don’t have to. Still, even at this late date an application to a LAC or two and a visit in April if you get in is possible.