Hello…I’m back. I needed to step back from this thread to take a breath and refocus on what my daughter wants which is, of course, most important. She made it clear that moving and starting fresh with a new treatment team felt too stressful and overwhelming during an already stressful time. So, she committed to UCSD a couple weeks ago and is a proud Triton. I’m very proud also (not surprising, lol…I am her mom). She has faced some very large obstacles this past year and managed to overcome them and succeed despite not attending school at all her senior year until March and still pushing forward and completing her remaining classes in order to graduate on time (actually will be a little early).
It was hard for me to accept at first; both she and I had always planned on her attending an LAC with state schools as the backup…she applied far and wide, chasing the best financial aid package she could get. Then, circumstances changed and we weren’t sure any school would accept her. Turned out we were wrong, she received many acceptances and ended up having to turn down amazing offers in order to keep her close to home and, as a result, attend a state school. The reality is, there is no shame in attending UCSD, it is a great school and I’m certain she will succeed.
Thank you, all of you, for your input and thoughtful responses. Now that the college search is over, I’ll have to find something else to do with my time other than obsessively read everything I can find on CC. I guess I’ll have to start researching grad schools now!!
Congrats on you and your daughter’s decision, @cttrlvr. I’m glad you found something that worked for you and your family!
You do not need to start researching grad schools now 
It’s too early! Let her settle into some career goals and research/professional interests first. I wouldn’t start thinking about a list until junior year at the earliest, once she’s gotten a chance to get some research experience and a little solidity in her career goals and interests.
Also, for the sake of the usefulness of this thread over the long-term your daughter’s doctor is wrong. It is not true that students have to attend a top-tier university to have hopes of getting into graduate school; this is true across fields.* I have a PhD in psychology and I went to a small LAC that is very good but not ranked as highly as Kenyon. Per capita, small liberal arts colleges produce more PhD graduates than large research universities. Colleges like Kalamazoo, Hillsdale, Allegheny, Hendrix, Franklin & Marshall and Occidental are in the top 50 producers of science and engineering (including psychology) PhDs per capita.
I wouldn’t say a student is better off at a small LAC. It’s more that a student who has found a good fit school for her can get into graduate school from wherever she goes, as long as she pursues the kinds of experiences that graduate schools value. Assuming that’s a PhD program in psychology, that would be research experience assisting a professor in their research group, summer research experiences (preferably at another campus and/or with other professors, so she can grow her network), presenting research at conferences, maybe getting a publication (not necessary, but a nice cherry on top). They also include good letters of recommendation and writing a strong personal statement that coherently discusses research interests and career goals, but those things tend to come more naturally after a student has had these kinds of experiences and connections. Good grades and high GRE scores are also necessary. And if she’s interested in clinical psychology, clinical volunteering experience is necessary as well.
A sufficiently motivated student could get that anywhere - a great small liberal arts college or a great large public university. The doctoral students I knew (at my own program and those I created networks with) came from across the spectrum of colleges and universities, from top-tier places to small regional public universities.
*I should add that in some fields - like math or philosophy - undergrad college may matter more.
Congratulations!
And if you find that UCSD is not the right school and the medical issues settle, then she could transfer. As for your your dream of moving out of California has been pushed back four years (at most). In the grand scheme of things, not that long for an adult.
Your daughter will be fine :). Congratulations to her for being on incredible in such difficult circumstances.
@juillet thank you for your insight, I greatly appreciate it!
@MYOS1634 You are correct; I’ve waited 17 years, I can wait longer 
and you’re right, she will be fine!