Kids not coming home for Thanksgiving?

<p>Wolfpiper, our S has never been able to come home for Thanksgiving or any school breaks. Blame it on home and school being on opposite coasts. Between difficulty scheduling flights and the time zone changes, it's never been worth it for what amounts to just a few days. There have always been a few friends who stayed on campus for Thanksgiving for the same reason; some are international students, and travel is out of the question. As the dining halls shut down, he and friends either go out to eat or stock up on groceries. For Thanksgiving dinner in the past, he's gone to a friend's house, to a prof's house, and to a restaurant with friends. He and his friends have also used the time to get off campus and explore the area a bit or just relax and enjoy the break from studying. He does get about a month between semesters, so that helps. Over time, the distance has been enough of a factor that he's strongly leaning toward grad schools located in areas where we have extended family who are eager to take him in and spoil him over breaks.</p>

<p>wolfpiper</p>

<p>No need to be offended. We're mostly parents here so we worry about kids. It's no reflection on you. If Thanksgiving is no big deal in your family, then how you celebrate it this year is no big deal. If you're used to traditional foods, lots of family, etc., and choose to do nothing for the holiday this year, you might be caught off guard by how that feels. I think that's why people are suggesting you plan something for that day. Doesn't matter so much exactly what it is.</p>

<p>Discuss this with your parents. They may have already made plans that include you. Look at several options before you make a final decision. Might you possibly get a ride part way home? Then, meet up with your parents in a location only 3-4 hours away from them. Some students would like to have someone to share the driving and gas with. Could you fly one way and your parents drive the other? Might your parents drive up, spend a night or two at a hotel with you, then drive home? </p>

<p>Since this is your first year away from home at this holiday and your not going home is because of the hassle, not because of you have outstanding alternative plans, I think this should be a family decision. Once you/ve expressed your concern for them and let them know you feel you will be okay staying on campus for the holiday, listen to how they feel and take it from there.</p>

<p>Our son has never made the trip from Boston for Thanksgiving--just too insane with only four days off and a real vacation a few weeks later. This year--his last at MIT--we are all going there instead, along with my husband's parents. We got some great prices from the Marriott, too--apparently most people stay with family over Thanksgiving.</p>

<p>Wolfpiper--what about if your parents come to you for a few days? Have your Thanksgiving there, so they only have to drive one roundtrip?</p>

<p>DMD,</p>

<p>I know this was the topic of another thread, but I always thought you were male. Oops.</p>

<p>Agree about hotel prices: ours are 2/3 of what we usually pay.</p>

<p>wolfpiper, we have a very parallel Thanksgiving geography and travel equation to yours. Our S is about an 8-10 hour drive each way, depending upon traffic. He is definitely not coming home - too much hassle at the airports for such a short stay.</p>

<p>However, we <em>are</em> driving down, because we have relatives in his area and will stay with them, and we are not restricted to just the 5 days - we can drive down on Tuesday and back on Monday or Tuesday. We're looking forward to it. So I chime in just to say that it may not feel burdensome to your parents to make the drive.</p>

<p>But if it does (which, of course, makes sense especially if they have to drive on the Wednesday and the Sunday), I feel confident that many families of your school friends would want to have you.</p>

<p>DD will spend the Thanksgiving holidays in Chile. Not a chance in Hades of her coming home for 4 days! :eek:</p>

<p>Son is not coming home for Thanksgiving. Flew home for a week of Fall Break. Thanskgving is just too close to the end of the semester. So, Dad and I are flying there to spend the four-day weekend at the school. We hope to take as many of his friends as want to come out for Thanksgiving dinner as we understand the dilemma of going home for such a short break. Plus, we felt that we had more flexibility in flying than he did--it's a busy time to try to fly. We hope that his friends will not feel that they are intruding on our holiday--he is our only son, and we would welcome other kids. Plus, this is our first time back on campus since we dropped him off in August.</p>

<p>wolfpiper, I certainly didn't intend to offend or imply that you are antisocial. Not knowing the make-up of your school, I just didn't know how many people were going to be around. I agree with all the previous posters that your friends' families would welcome you with open arms.</p>

<p>If your family does not have a larger circle of extended family that they want to spend the holiday with, then a good compromise would be to stay in a hotel near your school, enjoy a few days with your parents, and their driving would be cut in half. I have spent 3 Thanksgivings away from home when in school, and it was depressing for me, but I knew that I would be home 3 weeks later, so I tolerated it. I used the time to study and relax. I went to a couple of movies at nigh, out for dinner with a friend, and used the day to study and clean my apartment. The weekend went fairly quickly.</p>

<p>I won't be boing home for Thanksgiving--I had planned to but my parents decided to go on a vacation. Now I'll go to my boyfriend's parents house.</p>

<p>S is a freshman 1500 miles away but since this is his first year, we could not make parent's weekend, there is no Fall break at his school, his birthday falls very close to Thanksgiving, and his schedule will allow him to fly home on the Tues before Thanksgiving and stay through Sun, he will be coming home this year-even though winter break is only 3 weeks later. For financial reasons, I expect that will not be the case in future years, but it should also be easier for him to hook up with friends from school in later years than this year when friendships are still relatively new.</p>

<p>I always enjoy having extra people for Thanksgiving - my in-laws family tradition has always been to invite single friends in their neighborhood to share in the festivities. In the five years I lived in Germany I really enjoyed sharing our holiday with our German friends. If someone invites you I wouldn't hesitate to say yes. I spent most of my college years having Thanksgiving with my local cousins.</p>

<p>DD also will not be here for Thanksgiving. Her school gets a full week off for the Thanksgiving holiday BUT her term ends on December 9. It's just not economically sensible to fly her from the opposite coast and back and then do it again two weeks later. SO....she will visit relatives on that other coast for the week and come home for Christmas. She is actually excited about it. Back when the dinosaurs roamed (when I was in college), I stayed on campus in an RA suite during one Thanksgiving break. I have to say...it was a mighty lonely weekend. A bunch of us got together for Thanksgiving Day but that was it. The rest of the time I was the ONLY ONE in the building. I would not recommend it. If you don't have a group of folks to spend the weekend with, I would figure out a way to go home.</p>

<p>Wolfpiper, please be sure your parents aren't looking forward to having you home for T'giving. If they are anxious about the drive, or express that it will be a burden with Christmas coming up soon - that's fine, but give them a chance to say so.
My D doesn't come home for Thanksgiving, just too much of a hassle. I don't worry about loneliness - she's giving up a couple of invites to work on research papers - but the cafeteria closes for most of the weekend - heat up food in the MW will get a little old.</p>

<p>D will not be home for thanksgiving because she is studying abroad and thanksgiving is not a recognized holiday. Also considering the cost, and travel time it is not a feasible option considering that she will be home less than 3 weeks later. She is taking solace in going to rome for the weekend;)</p>

<p>There are excellent reasons to make a brief stop home when you have embarked on an important journey. If it can be done--do it. You won't regret it--unless your folks are the type to drink their dinners and then rip each other's egos to shreds.</p>

<p>When you go home, you discover what's changed inside your head and heart. You often surprise yourself. You get a perspective on your journey. It's very interesting. Home stays static while you make leaps into the unknown.</p>

<p>Plus, your family gets to preen around with their fabulous college student and they LOVE that.</p>

<p>I won't be going home for Thanksgiving this year. I went home my first three years of college, but the airline-ticket-to-quality-time ratio just got too high, so I've been to my fiance's family's house for the past two Thanksgivings.</p>

<p>Last year (the first year I didn't go home), my family didn't have Thanksgiving -- they had deli turkey sandwiches. Talk about twisting the knife in my heart...</p>

<p>delinquent daughter, can xmas presents beneath a scrawny blade of grass be far behind?</p>

<p>I did half-expect coal in my stocking.</p>