@MassDaD68 , you ask good questions, IMO. I will be honest about what we did. Our D wanted to go into a particular field, and he applied to schools with that program. He was accepted to an in-state school that is highly-regarded for the program, and he had an automatic scholarship based on ACT/gpa, He said he really preferred a private school that also has a good program in that field, but it was a lot more expensive. I sat him down & told him that I didn’t believe it made sense to spend that much more money for that school. I asked him to articulate what made the other school worth the money. He could not, and he realized that it didn’t make sense for him to go there. And … partway through freshman year, he decided against that program, transferred to a school near home, and finished his studies at that school.
But in my S’s case, the “does not care” attitude never carried over to the workplace. Even when his job was stocking shelves in the pet aisle at the local store, he worked really, really hard. He has always had glowing reviews from his employers.