@ SculptorDad- From the sounds of it she’s a highly intelligent and thoughtful kid. She’ll not only figure it, but in the end thrive! I wish her a great year of positive girl bonding!
I got a lengthy text from daughter that she now found her people who are space travel, sci-fi and fandom obsessed to eat together. It started with meeting a girl in her AP Econ class. Now she will appreciate me talking her into taking it.
I’m glad your daughter is off to a good start, @SculptorDad! How’s the empty nest going?
@doschicos. Not bad at all. We are enjoying freedom from childcare, and still being regularly updated on how things are going from dd. My wife restarted painting and meditates more. We have sent her away 3 weeks and 2 months in the past Summers so it’s not a new thing.
So, once dd found her people, texting and calling rate to home dropped significantly. I guess this is natural.
^Same here! Curiously, my DD’s best friend at BS is Korean… Considering that Singapore and China are in close second and third BFF positions, it almost looks as if the kid has been Asian-starved her whole life… 
Who knew! No surprise to find in my Amazon Prime account multiple orders of unfamiliar food items in a language I can’t even read. It’s great! I really like that they make friendships so easily.
@SculptorDad As they say, no news is good news.
@GoatMama One of the many benefits to boarding school was a diversity not provided in our town and local schools.
Yes @GoatMama same with my DD! Although she doesn’t have access to my Amazon Prime account:) Diversity is one of the praises I sing when asked the “why did you send her away…” question.
I am sad to say my DD ended up leaving BS after the first week. She realized she didn’t want to live away from home, and we live about 1 hr away so it wouldn’t work to be a day student, except on a temporary basis. This wasn’t her first time away from home–she’d been away for at least a month every summer from ages 8-12, and didn’t have much homesickness then.The school did offer her several options other than withdrawing, and her friends, advisor, dorm parents, proctors, school counselor, and dean of students all were trying to help her through the adjustment period, as was I, but she had made up her mind that she was done. So she is back home, and enrolled at the LPS. It was a quite a roller coaster with moving in and then moving out so soon. I was really sad to leave that wonderful school and community. She said she loved the school, but it just wasn’t going to work for her to live away from home. I keep thinking we should have chosen a different school that was less academically challenging, and maybe she could have stuck it out longer with less stress over the workload, but she was adamant at revisit day that this was the perfect place for her and she was actually doing fine academically that first week. Anyway, I am trying not to dwell on it and just help her adjust now to LPS, and catching up on the 2 weeks of school she missed (they started 1 week earlier than the BS). But after this experience, I do empathize with the students who post that they want to leave school!
Sorry to hear about your eventful month, @mass2020mom. I commend you for being a supportive parent. Were you out a lot of money due to her withdrawal?
@mass2020mom: Truly appreciate you sharing your family’s story. I think to newcomers, we collectively might tend to paint a (overly?) rosy picture of BS on the forum. We talk about all the upsides. But not so much the the challenges. The withdrawals, transfers, stress, etc. Best of luck to your daughter.
Wow, @mass2020mom , viritual hugs to you and your DD. Those kinds of decisions are not made lightly. Good luck as you change course.
Thanks @doschicos, @SevenDad, and @gardenstategal. Unfortunately we are out a lot of money due to withdrawal–tuition insurance only covers 60% of the year’s cost.
I hope all goes well, @mass2020mom! It’s must have been difficult for both of you. Your support of your daughter and her decision is truly admirable.
Thanks @goatmama. I think it was harder for me to let go of the vision of her high school experience there, than it was for her. Which is funny, because she was the one who wanted to go to BS in the first place–I was expecting she would go to LPS and would never have considered BS without her pushing for it. I end up in some crazy places by following her lead, but she does know that I will support her. I am chalking this up to “don’t be afraid to take a risk, even if you might fail” category. Not how I live my own life, but she is a very different kid than I was and I admire that in her.
Wow, @mass2020mom, that’s quite a rollercoaster that your family has been through! We often hear from kids and families on this forum who are struggling with adapting to the BS life, but it sounds like your daughter knew right away it wasn’t for her. I’m curious what it was that made her realize so quickly that living away from home just wasn’t going to work for her – was there something unexpected about her school that she hadn’t really factored in?
@mass2020mom Good for you for 1. listening to your kid and 2. for sharing your story. It is useful for readers of this board to hear all aspects of the prep school process. I am sorry it didn’t work for your daughter but happy that she seems to have found her place.
@mass2020mom I applaud you for being so supportive of your DD. I remember reading your post about revisit day and accepting her school choice. Her choice was one of my kid’s top 2 for revisit day, he ultimately chose the other school for various reasons. Thanks so much for sharing.
It wasn’t about the school itself–she loved the teachers, the other students, the facilities, the dance program, the food, the campus, etc. It really was more about herself, that she realized that she felt more centered and stable when she is with me and she didn’t want to spiral down into a dark place. So she took her warning signs seriously. She and I make decisions at very different speeds–she goes with her gut and I overanalyze everything and take forever to make a change.
This is definitely an unusual case with a lot of backstory about family drama and a rough period last spring (which is behind us now). I am hoping the others who post on this forum don’t take it as a recommendation to do the same–there are tons of students who get homesick but make it through the transition and love BS after a few weeks or a semester or year. I was hoping she’d be one of them, but didn’t want to risk her emotional & mental health by insisting she stay. And thankfully, she bounced back quickly once she was home, and is working hard at her new school.
It’s better now than in the middle of school year for sure!