<p>I have tutored college writing for two years and have helped numerous students with their personal statements. I am by no means a professional; however, I see several common mistakes among the essays. </p>
<p> Be specific - "my classes helped shape me to be the person I am today". Which classes? Why? Was there a history class in which you learned about the inequalities among race throughout the history of the United States? Perhaps this class lead you join the diversity club on campus and now you aim be a part of the African-American studies department at UC Irvine. Be specific!</p>
<p> Casual writing - "I was always that loner guy who no one talks too". No. "Although many perceive me to be reserved and quiet, I tend to be a situational observer who is fascinated with social interaction. </p>
<p> Do not use contractions: Don't, could've, can't</p>
<p> Stop using the thesaurus - if you do not know what the word means do not use it. "I am infatuated to attend UCLA's Nursing program in the fall."</p>
<p> Stay focused an organized - many of you call this "flow". One common mistake is trying to talk about too much. You end up having several paragraphs that have nothing to do with each other. </p>
<p> The last is not so much a mistake per say, rather an opinion. Many use the essay as a pity party. "Maybe if they feel sorry for me, I'll get in!" That is not how it works. In fact, there are 80,000 applicants. You have to have a serious hardship for it to work. Maybe you are a transfer student who spent time in the war or a woman who lost her entire family in a car accident and spent her final years of high school in foster care. For the rest of us, be real, be honest, be you. </p>
<p>Best of luck to you all.</p>