<p>Do any parents have experience with taking a leave of absence at BS. I know one or two kids who have done so for sports reasons, and schools have programs for students to spend a semester or year abroad away from BS. But in our case, we are thinking about it for personal reasons. Perhaps spending that brutal junior year at home would help reduce the stress, and boast confidence for S, and still leaves open the possiblity that S could go back to BS for senior year and graduation from BS.</p>
<p>I guess you can take any year as leave of absence, but how that’s gonna be affecting his college application is a question. It could work out well but I personally don’t know how and wouldn’t want to try.</p>
<p>Grinzing, I think that’s masterful. Wish I had thought of it myself. I think it’s unique and I think it would be looked upon favorably by college AOs though not being one myself, I can’t say for sure. But…I think it’s an excellent idea and don’t see it as a downer.</p>
<p>I have a very close contact to ask about the college application aspect and will do so. I think all applications have a place to explain “gaps” so S will be able to dispel any ideas that this was because of an academic or discliplinary problem. The BS is also willing to specify that he was not asked to take a leave. And, actually for state schools which are largely driven by GPA and test scores–being home increases the likelihood of success there.</p>
<p>Have you asked the school if this is allowable? At the boarding school I am most familiar with, kids who take a personal leave for all or a substantial part of their junior year (an exception being a school sanctioned study abroad program) have come back and repeated their junior year in boarding school.</p>
<p>i heard about someone going to a different state for a semester and then returning the next year</p>
<p>I’m with creative on this one. </p>
<p>As an interviewer I’d be asking a lot of pointed questions about the purpose of that gap year and what the student accomplished by taking it. Gap years work well if the student has already graduated - especially if they do something substantial during that time. </p>
<p>But if a student takes a gap year during Jr. year to “avoid” the stress - then the answer would be - “depends” on the college. It would be a flag at some - especially since the student is competing against others who went all the way through.</p>
<p>I only say that because applications are going up and Adcoms are looking for reasons to weed the pile to a manageable number. Because so many people “fudge” why a student left school and then returned - any anomoly beyond things like SYA gets an “extra” look even if the BS vouches for them.</p>
<p>Still - there are exceptions to every rule and you should do what is best for your son.</p>
<p>What a world–where the health and welfare of someone’s darling D/S gets balanced against how a theoretical college AO might view it. The bell has just gone off for me that this is absolutely NOT about college applications. BTW, my valued ed. consultant stated that lots of kids move around and reinforced that if it helps S overall, it will be likely be viewed as a plus (after all, it shows maturity to be proactive about what is the right path).</p>
<p>grinzing -</p>
<p>Your child’s emotional and physical health and well-being should definitely be the top consideration. I know of kids who have left boarding school and have done wonderfully in every aspect of their life. The BS culture and environment isn’t right for everyone. If your son is truly unhappy after his second year, it does sound like other options should be explored.</p>
<p>My question above was related to what the boarding school would allow. Would they allow him to leave for his junior year and come back for senior year? </p>
<p>College shouldn’t be a driver as I think the college thing gets sooo overhyped. Once you look beyond the Ivies and a handful of other schools, college admission isn’t as competitive as people worry that it is and all the media hype portrays it to be anyway. Having just gone through the college process with my child, there are absolutely wonderful schools out there beyond the dozen or so everyone seems to focus on. </p>
<p>Best wishes to your son and your family with the decision making process.</p>
<p>Especially the ones in this group:</p>
<p>[Colleges</a> That Change Lives | Changing Lives, One Student at a Time](<a href=“http://www.ctcl.org/]Colleges”>http://www.ctcl.org/)</p>
<p>BS would have been a bad environment for my oldest. She’d have come home after the first year. She commutes to college and it’s working for her. My youngest is read to run a country - she needed the extra challenge.</p>
<p>Every student is different. Do what is right for your specific circumstances.</p>
<p>I realized my response above should have been directed at RBG2 who suggested it was automatically a plus for college and I found that conclusion to be a bit far-reaching.</p>
<p>You, however, are on the right track for your son and I applaud your thinking about the options without regard to how it “looks.”</p>
<p>You could also consider just taking a term off, if they will let you. Someone else on the board mentioned that.</p>
<p>grizing, sorry I was the one who first brought up the topic of college. I apologize. </p>
<p>Is your son going back to his public school or a local private school for his junior year, or is he really taking a gap year without formal schooling? If it’s the latter, I don’t know if it’d be acceptable to his boarding school to take him back in senior year. If it’s the former, why does he have to return to BS to graduate?</p>
<p>S would go back to a local private school and they would welcome him. He then has the year to decide whether to finish hs at home or go back to BS for sr. year. I want to try to give him the option to avoid his feeling like BS was a failure or he’s quitting–that’s a big one for him and the major obstacle in this idea. We’d like to position the year home as a way to reduce the stress, build his confidence back, and allow him some breathing room to perform. The day school is a known quantity academically and socially and should help those things. But, we also have to get him on board that it’s a positive solution b/c even on a bad day, he’s determined not to be a quitter.</p>
<p>Sounds like a good plan. As long as he chooses the right classes and extracurricular activities, I think he’ll do fine in the day school. I agree it’s best to have the option of retuning to BS for the senior year available, just in case.</p>
<p>I can’t even begin to comprehend this mindset. Boarding school is an opportunity - not a marathon. If it’s an opportunity that turns out not to be advantageous for your son, then that’s the end of that - and he should try something else instead. Why anyone would think he should “stick it out” until he graduates is really beyond me. He’s not “quitting” - he’s just saying, “Oops, wrong choice!” and changing his direction.</p>
<p>This is about giving a student an opportunity . . . not about demonstrating how much hardship he or she can endure!</p>
<p>I think that if a child is unhappy (not unhappy in the regular teenage angst kind of way but having done all options, given it a real try at working etc) then its a responsibility for the parent to be proactive in finding alternative solutions, be they a local public, private or a different boarding.<br>
The question I have is for the coming back for senior year. Most private schools of a BS caliber will not hold a place for a kid unless tuition is paid for that year, and will demand a whole new application complete with Board Scores, recs, interview etc., unless its a school sanctioned transfer to a school abroad or something of that nature.
In certain cases, such as for sick leave, things can be negotiated. I would be somewhat open with my BS and talk to them about the situation and get a clear understanding of what they will or wont do. In my opinion coming back will not look like a viable option. Also keep in mind that they will try to talk you into keeping your child at the school, so be strong in your convictions. Its hard when a child is unhappy, I think i can speak for everyone when I say that we’re all pulling for you.</p>
<p>Earlier, a parent posted that they did make a deal with the school for their son to take an absence of leave for sophormore year. He didn’t give details but it didn’t sound like the leave was for medical reasons. They have decided not to go back after a year at a local school near home. I’d talk to the school and explore all options available.</p>
<p>I know of someone who left a HADES school due to unhappiness and re-enrolled in a private day school. The student did well and matriculated at Harvard.</p>