<p>My S is having academic difficulties at BS. No problems with being away, everyone ( teachers always say this) likes him and not at all disruptive in class .
He is getting C's and D's. although some improvement lately with tutors. He is on academic probation. He likes the school and wants to continue. We, as parents gave him the option to come home but he wants to tough it out . He was a very good student in middle school but of course we were over him ( he does study at BS) and the work was far less rigorous ! My older son did fine in our public school, had AP courses and did well on ACT gaining acceptance to several very good ( top 30) LACs. Did we make a mistake? The BS suggested that our son be tested ( psych educational testing) so that they can see where he may need help. ( at first we were reluctant) they originally suggested this in late January just as the tutoring was starting to take effect. The testing requires three sessions and the parents to be involved . Therefore the testing will have to be done at years end near our home to avoid missing classes. It seems to me that all of this may have been avoided OR if there is some deficiency in learning ( or he learns differently ) that never surfaced before, our S would have eventually compensated by developing his own style of study habits that worked ( with the tremendous rigor of boarding school this could not be worked out so easily).<br>
Would you keep him in boarding school ( I must admit I do see a difference in maturity and he is beginning to to improve albeit slowly) or would you have him come back ( he prefers not to come back to public school). He would most certainly do better in public school. In other words, are we getting the prep of college ( hitting the brick wall of rigor in ninth grade rather than freshman year in college) but at the expense of a terrible ninth grade GPA which would ironically keep him out of a decent college ? Or, if he does improve and turn the corner, is all not lost and colleges will understand come application time in senior year?</p>
<p>I would get him tested and take it from there. My neighbor’s daughter was an excellent student at our local public middle school, but struggled in certain courses at a selective prep school… Her teachers thought that she seemed highly intelligent and suspected a learning disability. She was tested, and a severe learning disability was diagnosed. Evidently our public school was easy enough for her to excel despite the disability, but when faced with much more demanding classes, the coping strategies she had developed on her own were no longer sufficient.</p>
<p>She stayed at prep school and received assistance in developing better coping strategies, and eventually excelled in all classes. I cannot for the life of me recall where she went to college, but do remember thinking she had placed well. Bates, maybe?</p>
<p>@honorarymom… Thank you. I hope the BS is willing to wait until the year completes . On the one hand they do not want my S to miss any class ( neither do I) however testing is encouraged to be near home. Therefore it is virtually impossible to arrange for this sort of testing until the completion of the school year.</p>
<p>Make sure you and the school are in close communication about the scheduling of the testing. You don’t want your son to move from academic probation to dismissal.</p>
<p>I believe colleges will not hold a bad freshman year against your son if he does a lot better after that.</p>
<p>There are schools that specialize in or have extensive programs for students in need of academic support.That might be something to just start exploring.</p>
<p>I would absolutely have him tested. Bright kids with learning disabilities or ADHD often excel until they hit a wall at a certain point in their education…which could just be now. I know you don’t want him to miss classes but the sooner you get results the sooner he can be helped if there is a disability. Are there any long weekends or breaks coming up?</p>
<p>It may be academic or it maybe that he isn’t emotionally ready for that level of independence-- that he needs and perhaps at some level wants the cocooning of family for a while longer.</p>
<p>There has been a thread recently where a boy made the brave decision that bs wasn’t right and that he would come home. His parents acted in a loving and supportive way and instead of his leaving because he “failed” they applauded his courage for discovering what is right for him despite what others might think.</p>
<p>I am not saying at all that such is the case here…but it is something to consider. </p>
<p>If it does turn out to be the case–make sure that he feels that deciding to come home is not a failure --that he “couldn’t hack it” but rather a brave decision for what is right for him.</p>
<p>Thank you very much! It was the school which stated that they did not want him to miss class. Only one long weekend and testing is not done on Sat/Sun at the centers we have encountered. Even around the school the testing is 40 minutes away and he would have to be there by latest 1PM! It is for this reason I wish the school ( which has more than likely encountered these situations ) would have provided help in testing! I mean we are caring parents paying the full bill plus tutors and we are 31/2hrs away . It should be a bit more user friendly. When I refer a patient for a special procedure I generally do make recommendations that are easy to get to and may even make the appointment for the patient! This one was a bit tough because of the distance. If it turns into a dismissal I would be very upset since he started turning the corner and the school ( in discouraging helicopter parents) kept us at length until I saw the first trimester grades ! Almost too late! He’s been catching up but it’s a long process !
Thank you all again! Any other feedback would be welcomed.</p>
<p>Isn’t there a spring break during which he could be tested? If not, I think I would take him out of school to be tested, especially if I thought it was a learning disability. And I would strongly suspect LD if I thought he was intelligent enough to be doing well. You must have some way to gauge that - how he has done on standardized tests, etc., and teachers should be able to provide some insight as to the nature of the problem. You will be better able to get him the appropriate support when you better understand the problem.</p>