<p>Anyone else ever done this? Especially for freshman year of college?
I will be
1) spending a year in a foreign country 5,500 miles away from home
2) which is currently basically a war zone (don't ask, long story, not bringing up, it is safe where I'll be though)
3) where I speak the language only on a pretty basic level
4) with a "dumb" phone and very spotty access to computers with internet (yes, I know, my mom says I'm spoiled also, when she did a year abroad she called home once a month)
5) in a program where I know some people but will not know most of the others
6) rooming with my really close friend who is awesome but I'm not so sure how rooming with her will end up working out
7) with a very hard time making new friends and a kind of fear of it (I had a very traumatic elementary school experience socially and only started making friends very gradually in high school- it took me two years to finally end up friends with my roommate)
8) without anybody I know in this country (just a bunch of my mom's coworkers who have never met me).
So yeah, I'm a bit of a mess, even if looking at this list even I think it sounds a bit ridiculous.
Any insights, words of wisdom, etc from the wise souls over here?</p>
<p>How exciting! And how scary!</p>
<p>If you’re in a program, you will certainly get to know other people - just as you would if your first year was on a traditional college campus in the US. And you already have a friend there. And friends of your mom’s who could host you for a weekend away if you need a taste of home life. </p>
<p>I do appreciate your concerns about making friends - one of my kids sounds similar to you, so I’m sympathetic. One helpful thing may be that everyone who signed up for your program is likely to share similar values, so you may find it easier to make connections in the group.</p>
<p>Re language: isn’t part of the program going to aim at improving your fluency? And living there every day will automatically make you fluent much faster. In the meantime, I’m betting almost everyone can speak at least some English and you’ll be able to get by in a pinch with your basic skills. And hopefully the hostilities there are calming down?</p>
<p>Have a safe trip, learn lots, make friends and memories, and if you can, stop by here and update us on how it’s going.</p>
<p>If this trip freaks u out, then why did u sign up for this program? Since it’s not something that is conventionally done, and it surely cost extra bucks to participate, I doubt anyone held a gun to your head to make u do this.</p>
<p>I’m a little confused - are you moving with your mom or are you moving into a college overseas for your freshman year in college?</p>
<p>1) Is the college overseas, or will your family just be moving overseas so that is where you will be when college is not in session?
2) You mention “ending up friends with your roommate” in regards to high school? Were you at a boarding school before?</p>
<p>It’s not really clear to me what your situation is, and as others said, what choice you had in it. Without revealing the country, could you reveal if you are going to a US college but in an overseas program, or if you are going to a college which is overseas?</p>
<p>Part of the answer would be dependent on whether:
- you are in the US in college with a friend as a roommate, but are worried about dealing with home when on break and when talking on the phone, or
- you are in the other country in a college program with a friend as a roommate, so every day you will be dealing with a new country, mostly new language, and customs</p>
<p>In the first case, I know more than a few international students who lived in the US year-round because the situation was dicey back home. You would need to start thinking about how to do that now, so you can figure out if you can get full year housing and a job or take classes in the summer.</p>
<p>In the second case, yes that is a huge change, so I’d start with trying to learn more of the language and maybe talk more to your mom about the situation.</p>
<p>In either case, don’t worry too much about making friends. Forcing making friends is not a good idea, just go there for <em>YOU</em> and have fun and learn things. If you focus on your experience and enjoying yourself (not too much!), you’ll find friends.</p>
<p>@stradmom obviously figured out what I’m doing, where, and why :). It’s not difficult to guess based on my previous posts, I guess.
Luckily, most people tend to speak English, and I will be taking fluency classes in the host language, but in high school I had a lot of trouble learning the language which kind of worries me.
And yeah, the hostilities are calming down. I was somewhat more worried about that part a few weeks ago. I still did get an email from the program detailing their safety protocol, so that helps…
And for sure, I know I’m going to meet people I’ll probably like and become friends with, as well as hopefully keep the friends I have :), but I have a very hard time getting to the point of making friends, being a bit socially awkward. I also worry that if I don’t make a lot of friends then I’ll end up leaning too much on my roommate and maybe hold her back, which wouldn’t be fair to her.
GMTplus7: I do want to go. My parents are also very interested in my going (and it doesn’t cost much more than my college tuition would cost, which is a pretty good thing on their end). This is more all of the jitters piling up on me in the final countdown before the twelve hour plane ride away from everything I’ve known for the past seventeen years.
rhandco: I’m sorry I wasn’t clear. I’m going on a college program (not a part of my [US] college, but an affiliated program [of the host country] which will give credits for my freshman year) to a foreign country.
When I said “becoming friends with my roommate” I meant my future roommate for this coming year. I went to a regular commuting high school.
“you are in the other country in a college program with a friend as a roommate, so every day you will be dealing with a new country, mostly new language, and customs”- YES THAT’S IT
I know enough of the language to stumble along, and I’m not going to try to be overly aggressive about making friends, but unfortunately, I feel like otherwise I’ll end up feeling awkward, like the third wheel. I just came back from camp, where I went with a friend and where I was miserable socially because I found it so hard to make friends and connect with people.
Really, this is all just the jitters, probably inspired by all those “I hate college” threads in the forum. All of the encouragement has been really helpful, so thanks :). </p>