Left McGill two years ago - now what?

Hi all -

Here’s a little bit of information about me - I went to a competitive private boarding school on the East Coast where I participated in a lot of theater and took tons of music classes. By the time college rolled around though I was too terrified to audition for BFA acting programs, even though I really wanted to, and ended up studying English at Skidmore. I hated it.
I love reading but the whole time I kept wondering if I could somehow study my other passion - singing, musical theater, piano, etc.

So I transferred to McGill to study Theater and Music, but realized that that also wasn’t working and ended up withdrawing from school entirely. I was really burnt out for a number of reasons - trouble at home, moving around a lot, general depression.

Well now it’s a few years later and it’s time for me to reapply to schools. I live in Los Angeles now and have been attending community college with the plan of transferring to UCLA to finish my degree in English. Except that now the deadline is approaching and - lo and behold - I have zero desire to do it.

If anyone has any advice/perspective - here is my question.

Do I apply, see what happens, and complete my degree in English or maybe Comparative Lit and just go with the flow and learn what I can and graduate?

OR do I finally apply to Tisch, CMU, Boston University BFA programs, etc. and tackle that fear and see what happens?

I also have a boyfriend here I’m really committed to and that relationship is making me more scared of leaving.

wow. That was a lot.
K thanks!