In another thread on CC we were recently discussing why some posters feel the need to answer every question (well maybe not every question) with “Can you afford it?”. Some said it that often times the question can be answered without knowing the finances. Others explained why they ask the question and gave examples like this…
But we all agreed - don’t be disappointed like that family, do your research, talk about it with your son/daughter/parents/guardians, run the calculators and don’t have “magical thinking” cloud your judgement and if you can’t afford to pay the tuition or cover the cost of the gap in financial aid/scholarship and tuition then it is not a school you should apply to, or at the very least, don’t be shocked, surprised or disappointed if come July you find yourself scrambling to pay a bill beyond your means or looking for a university that is more affordable.
And if you want the answer to the question “Help me narrow my list” (or some similar topic) to not include “Can you afford it?”, at the very least say you’ve looked at the finances and you are fully aware of the cost to attend. Particularly if you are an average OOS looking at a public university.
I find an additional problem to be the parents who give their kids mixed messages; I actually heard this at my high school (job):
“Just get in, we’ll worry about the costs later.”
“We’ll work it out; you should be able to find good scholarships with your grades.”
“Wait until you get your financial aid, then you can work a part-time job (like Dad and I did) for the rest of the money.”
I think the “can you afford it?” question is spot on; we had no idea about how the costs have risen so much. (eg: our son randomly sent his ACT scores to UCLA; OOS for us. we didnt pursue it at all once we saw the costs).
Our search is over for our oldest 2, and this forum helped so much as we went into this without knowing ANYTHING about colleges and costs, especially with OOS public colleges.
When our D found a great program at a nearby OOS, we were surprised and disappointed in how little this OOS public U seemed to budge in costs for our “average excellent” kid. We did have that “magical thinking” cloud at first, and friends did as well for their kids. This OOS did come back with some decent grants, but that was after she had chosen a LAC to attend.
i appreciate greatly the help from this forum’s wise-ones. you know who you are!
and @“aunt bea” - yes, i was at a summer soccer league this week listening to several parents whose oldest kids haven’t hit college yet: – saying exactly what you mentioned. “There’s LOTS of scholarships out there!” and “That kid will have lots of scholarship offers because he’s bi-racial” and “We are telling our kid to go for it with big name and OOS colleges!” There’s a grain of truth in these statements, but not for many. I recommend this site to everyone.
Costs were not addressed at my large public high school in NYC. Before the event, I asked the GC: will you discuss college costs and how they work? The GC looked startled at the question–and lo and behold, costs weren’t addressed at all. Not a word. They did spend the hour talking about Naviance and how it worked, and how the student should handle the applications, not the parents, and how to fill out the Brag Sheet properly. They also had a presentation by a college rep. But not one word about how to pay for college . . . or narrowing choices by cost first. Even though I asked about it before the event started . . . .
It is really appalling that a number of high schools don’t address costs of attending. It leaves a lot of disappointed families. Many GC’s gloss over it with high-achieving students assuming that the students’ families have the financial resources.
It’s amazing to me how many students report that their GCs advise their students to come to California public colleges and then just “establish residency”.
I agree that cost has to be first and foremost. I went into the college search with my youngest with some blinders on. I had the thinking that with good grades merit aid and scholarships would be part of her whole package. And they were. But not enough to cover all of our costs. She has only been able to get one outside scholarship and it was local. It does not renew every year. Now she will be attending a school that financially is a stretch for us. Doable but a stretch. Finances are not discussed by school counselors except for FAFSA night and how to apply for our in state assistance (she will be out of state). Most kids here go to a state school and few go OOS and even fewer to private schools.
Sometimes when someone replies can you afford it it’s the first time it has been brought to the posters attention.
Surely it would be easy for a counselor to tell students to “be sure to talk to your parents about college costs and run the net price calculator on the web site of every college you look at”.
Net Price Calculators don’t work for everyone, including yours truly, so the process was more involved for us.
D went to boarding school and they did bring in a college Financial Aid Administrator to give a talk at Parents Weekend each year and it was very helpful. I think I started attending those her sophomore year of HS. We have an unusual financial situation and I pumped every presenter for their viewpoint, as well as gaining general info and learning what goes on behind the scenes.
I did not see any indication that the college counselor at her school would help kids factor in cost when creating a college list, and I had it on reliable intel that the counselor had too much on her plate. So I did a lot of the early selection to avoid unnecessary disappointments. My D was totally fine with this, she was happy to investigate colleges as I brought them to her attention.
It all worked well for us but I definitely did the work of a college admissions consultant.
I really wish the kids sports (club) coaches would lay off the college scholarship prep. The line SHOULD be “I’ll help you get the skills to be able to play on a college team, you get the grades, test scores, and savings to get in and pay for the college” But instead - starting at a very young age the kids and parents hear - “We are here to help your kids get a scholarship to play x sport in college” UGHHHH
Our GC’s will not talk about COA at all! The want the high stats kids to apply to the best schools even if they know the kids can’t afford them because it makes the school look good on Naviance!
Biggest issue with athletic scholarships (other than no way on the planet either of my kids could ever get one) is what are the odds of getting an athletic scholarship at a school where you would want your kid academically?
And that is on top of the odds your kid will get an athletic scholarship at all. The number of great athletes who are unable to get an athletic scholarship is huge. Your kid may be special. But odds say that is unlikely.
Often the student just throws out big name schools that don’t offer scholarships, just need based aid.
Then if they say cost is not a concern because parents make a lot of money, that does not mean that parents are aware that these schools cost over $50k a year and would be willing or able to pay full price if student got in.
So it’s better to address the cost/affordability question first.
Then you can craft a good list to achieve your goals, and don’t waste money on applications to schools that if accepted, you could not afford to attend.
Concerning the article. I really think that schools ought to offer college financial literacy courses for parents and students sometime the first semester of the students junior year in HS. Perhaps states should require students and parents to attend to get transcripts sent or something (I don’t know). I can’t believe that the parent in the story didn’t have the information well before their child would have received the FA package that it was going to be unlikely that their child could afford U of Wis. They mentioned no scholarships which likely would have come fairly soon after the acceptance, and they should have their SAR report long before the FA report came out so they would have to have had a pretty good idea what the university would cost them even without running a NPC. Universities don’t magically come up with money for students to attend their university at the last minute. Unless people understand the costs of college and how scholarships and FA aid works they are probably going to be in for a rude awaking. A solution will not just happen at the last minute.
