<p>May I offer a tip to parents of juniors who may be asking teachers for letters of recommendation? Suggest that your child establish some sort of relationship with the teacher before asking for such a letter. A student whom I barely know dropped by yesterday asking for a letter. This put me in a difficult situation: should I write the letter, knowing that I would only be able to describe her in the most general terms, or should I decline to do so and hurt her feelings?</p>
<p>I can do a much better job when I actually know something about the student. A student who comes by to discuss an essay, and how to improve next time tells me something about his/her diligence. A student who consistently contributes to class discussions in a thoughtful, meaningful, and appropriately humorous manner tells me something about his/her communication skills. A student who drops by at lunch to continue a discussion from class that day tells me something about his/her desire to learn. A student who does poorly on a test but, rather than pout, lets me know after class that he/she will work much harder (and actually follows through on that) tells me something about his/her resilience.</p>
<p>I write my best letters when I know my students best. I know my students best only if they have given me the opportunity to do so.</p>
<p>So how would you handle this situation? D2 has asked for some letters of recommendations from teachers, coaches and administrators and there have been typos and poor grammar in almost all of them. One was so bad we didn’t use it. Another we asked the secretary if she could correct the letter because the athletic director had used the wrong scholarship name. She did correct but did let him know too. Two other letters had mistakes but we had to use them because of scholarship time constraints. Ugh! What an awful feeling when you’ve worked so hard to make sure everything is perfect and then you must use something that could possibly hurt your application! D2 had to use a letter from a coach for a scholarship app and he did not follow the written directions and it had to be mailed within the hour because it took him so long to finish. In the end out of 7 letters she asked for, 6 had errors/mistakes. sigh…</p>
<p>I can’t say that I am surprised by what you described, but it certainly is disheartening. Perhaps a corollary to my suggestion would be for students to “choose wisely” when they ask teachers for letters of recommendation. Students usually know which teachers are capable of writing an effective letter.</p>
<p>westerndad, your post helped me so much! People always seem say ‘get to know your teachers’ but I never understood what that meant. Your post helped with that.</p>
<p>What are some other ways to get to know a teacher (or let a teacher get to know a student) better?</p>
My D ran into the same issue with one of hers. This history teacher had awful spelling, grammar, and sentence construction. I’d say it was lower than a second grade level and this was an AP history teacher! Moreover, it was a teacher who used to emphasize spelling and punctuation! On top of that, he used the wrong gender for my D so he obviously just slammed this together and this was for the top student in his class. I was sorely disappointed in him and just threw that letter in the trash.</p>
<p>However, it makes one appreciate the letters of recommendation from the excellent teachers and GCs who put thought into it.</p>
<p>Westerndad:
I understand your point. I wanted my Ds to get the letters from teachers and a GC who actually knew them fairly well so it would be genuine and accurate. This can sometimes be challenging in a large public HS but they were able to do well with it. </p>
<p>If students aren’t necessarily standouts and more mid-range rather than top students and are perhaps ‘quiet’ students it’s bound to be more difficult for the teacher but it seems that the teacher could still provide some type of letter for the student. It should be honest, of course, but could still state some positive attributes. If you write one of these the student can decide whether to use it or not (assuming they see the letter, which I recommend).</p>
<p>“This history teacher had awful spelling, grammar, and sentence construction. I’d say it was lower than a second grade level and this was an AP history teacher!”</p>
<p>Again, this is pretty pathetic, but it’s not at all surprising. Let’s just say that we are not exactly getting the best and the brightest in schools. For various reasons, that’s not surprising, either.</p>
<p>For our kids, we never saw any letters of rec, as we checked the box that they would not be seen by student on the apps. We ASSUME that they were done properly and said what we hoped would be helpful and positive. Since his counselors and teachers knew him in his small classes and liked him, I’m pretty sure they were all OK. Most of the teachers at his school will tell students if they can’t write a positive rec for the student so s/he can ask others.</p>
<p>When I write letters of rec for anything, I generally give the person who asked for the letter a blind copy of my letter, just for their files and in case it vanishes for some reason. I only write for people I believe I can write a strong letter for. Others who have written me letters have kindly given me blind copies and I thought it was very considerate.</p>
<p>I’ve been asked to write letters of recommendation for kids–not that I am a teacher or anything. At our local high school, the seniors have a “real world” exercise where they have to craft a resume, fill out a job application, ask for a letter of recommendation, draft a cover letter, give a 10 minute presentation on what their future plans are and how their experiences at high school helped them. Sometimes I’m asked to provide a recommendation.</p>
<p>Part of my training of them is getting them to realize that just asking for a recommendation isn’t enough, by a long shot. I ask them why they chose me to write a recommendation, what do they think I can tell the reader of the letter about them, what do they WANT me to tell the reader about them, do they have a specific incident that they think is important for me to mention.</p>
<p>I ask them to tell me what activities they are interested in school, how have they been involved in those activities, what activities are they involved in outside of school, etc. Kids, you got to give me some raw material here!!</p>
<p>The GCs at our school have a workload of hundreds of kids. Luckily, not that many kids will require recommendations (our state schools do not require them). But the GCs have a questionnaire that the kids fill out about what their future plans are and what they think are their strong points, etc. The kids are required to attach a resume of activities, including leadership position and honors. Also, the parents are asked to fill out a “brag sheet” about their kids. It helps the GC get to know kids better who may not have taken the opportunity to get to know them previously.</p>
<p>Getting to know a teacher is especially important in college when there is less impetus or opportunity on both sides to interact. And I agree with Westerndad that it is important on the high school level also.</p>
<p>At our school the kids HAVE to fill out a form for letters of rec and attach a document that lists all activities/awards/ community activities that student does.Multiple copies of letters on official letterhead are given to students so they can use them for multiple apps for schools and scholarships. Nothing is blind!</p>
<p>We have been very thoughtful and careful when asking for references but when you have to ask for coaches/athletic director for scholar athlete scholarships there’s not much choice!</p>
<p>The teacher writes the letter and gives it to the GC. The GC gives the requested number of copies to the student in sealed envelopes, with a stamp over the seal on the back saying “Provided by XX High School” or some such. The student addresses and mails the envelopes. Transcripts are handled the same way.</p>
<p>One teacher provided D with a copy of his letter, but that’s the teacher’s option.</p>
<p>BTW, I think that addressing all letters “Dear Princeton” is brilliant. What school wouldn’t like to steal a student away from Princeton? (or at least think that’s what they’re doing?)</p>
Actually the weird thing was, no one had applied to Princeton in the 4 years before me. </p>
<p>
Oh you know, a few major rivals…Harvard, Yale…word on the street is your app has to be near-perfect for those schools! </p>
<p>On my Stanford acceptance letter an adcom wrote: “We hope the fact that we admitted you despite the Princeton reference shows you how badly we want you to come here” Haha I thought that was pretty classy (though I didn’t actually end up attending…o well).</p>
<p>^^^ I hope so! I was really disappointed this weekend in a few letters that D had to use because of time constraints. One specifically said the letter had to be limited to 250 words and it was way over and the second and third just weren’t written well. I have a feeling she won’t progress any further in the scholarship process. It shouldn’t other me as much as it does because she is at her scholarshp max she can receive but I thought it would be a nice/fun accomplishment. It is what it is!!! :)</p>
<p>So have any of you asked to have typos/mistakes redone?</p>