It appears that my son will get a likely letter as a college recruit. I want to celebrate this occasion with him, yet I don’t want to “count the chickens before they hatch.” Wondering how parents have dealt with likely letters with talking to others, celebrations, and more?
Nice news for your son!
I would say…
Smile and hug him when he gets the likely letter. Save the cake and the announcing it to all your friends and family members for when he gets admitted!
I, too, would advise you to wait on the announcement/cake until the actual admission letter is posted.
I’d celebrate privately at home - a nice dinner or favorite dessert - and focus on the accomplishments that got him here. But I would hold off on anything else, especially public, until it’s official. While the acceptance is almost certain, it’s not 100% yet. Your son probably has teammates who ate waiting to hear from schools that don’t do LL. And remember that while your son is certainly a good student and a good athlete, there are many good students who resent the preference shown to athletes. Being discreet is probably both gracious and wise.
We celebrated signing day, which was only a few weeks after the offer and acceptance. I ordered a shirt (maybe two) and she just signed at home but she was so happy with the shirt. Some of the other kids had balloons and roses, or signed at a decorated table at their high school (we had a school signing ceremony in the spring and that was really fun).
I think a family celebration dinner (home or restaurant) is called for.
This is very helpful. Thank you. We haven’t been down the road before.
Such a wonderful response. Thank you.
Our kid just received his LL on my birthday, so we ended up celebrating both his getting the LL and my birthday at home. His school college counselor told him not to announce to anyone at school until he receives the actual acceptance letter. So only family and close friends are quietly celebrating for now.
It takes an entire village to generate a coveted Likely Letter. So I wouldn’t be ashamed about celebrating it. I’m sure as parents you spent many nights and weekends away at sporting events, countless hours driving back and forth for training.
So you deserve it. Raise a glass privately. Just don’t rub it into everyone else’s face.
Congratulations to all! I agree that I’d make it a private family celebration. And I’d also quietly remind your son that while he has the likely letter in hand and it is important that he stay on course.
Is a likely letter sort of like a save the date letter? In other words, you’re getting in/invited, but you won’t get the official invite for a few more months/weeks? Would a likely letter ever NOT lead to admission if student stays on course, etc?
For all intents and purposes, a Likely Letter is as good as the official letter, and it comes with the same Terms and Conditions and the acceptance letter. (e.g. Don’t get a D, don’t get convicted of a crime, don’t be found to have falsified your application).
So for the OP, you can count the chickens, and celebrate with you family accordingly. Personally, outside of maybe a couple of close friends (and even then, preferably ones without kids in this admissions cycle), I’d keep the celebration small. After all, there are still many kids still on pins and needles.
We went down this road with DS several years ago, back when Harvard and Princeton were RD only, no ED, REA or SCEA, meaning he didn’t have his official acceptance until spring. When he received his LL in October we celebrated quietly at home and shared the good news with a very select few.
Again thank you to all who took the time to write. This has been extremely helpful. I shared the advice with my son and the family.
Agree with skieurope. LL means your kid got in and barring anything major like grade slip or bad behavior it’s a sure thing for admission. When my son received his, he was able to partake in his HS national signing day as a celebratory ceremony. He and his support team worked hard for many years so it was nice for him to receive those accolades in front of the AD, coaches and other parents and family members. When he got his actual admission letter we had no celebration because it was done at the LL stage.
One more question about all of this–how involved did parents get in the process with regard to the Likely Letter. I’ve let my child do most of the work, but now that we’re getting closer to zeroing in on a school, I feel like I have to talk to the coaches to make sure I understand the process. I’ve asked this before, but want to make sure I tread as appropriate–it’s quite a process and a bit daunting for a newbie like me. Thanks for any wisdom you might offer.
Seekwise, we let our kid do all the talking with the coach and thankfully coach was clear with our son that he would give his full support for the LL but needed to know if our son would at least verbally commit to only pursuing his school as we were past the ED deadline. We all felt that we could rely on coach’s word since the preread was pretty intensive and we got an estimated FA award from the school before the OV. Plus, that was the school our son was sure was the best fit for him all around. In short, we were background support (guidance, resource for filling out financial info,etc) and let our son handle everything on the front end. However, you should do what best fits your comfort level for your family.
My daughter had two schools that wanted her and I let her handle it. We did not talk to the coach until we went to parent’s weekend freshman year.
And I’m on the side that thinks it is fine for a parent to be involved in any financial discussion and to ask 'how does this all work? Is there anything I should be doing?"
My daughter asked me to handle the financial stuff. She was 16 and talking about how to get to COA based on my income and assets and taxes and 401k contributions was a little beyond her level at that time.
@Seekwise - I was very involved in the process when my son was being recruited, as he was very busy with an extremely rigorous course load plus national and international travel for his sport. I interacted with coaches and scheduled and accompanied him on all of his unofficial visits, and the coaches were fine with that.
Two years later my daughter handled almost everything on her own.