Live very rural & Ivy's have expressed interest in my child, how bad is it is we move 2 large city?

Applying to College
1

I would rather not say exactly where I live since it would give away who my child is.
We live in a very rural landlocked area. My child is currently in 10th grade and is ranked #1 in a class of over 650.
My child has an A and over 100 average in every class including concurrent enrollment with a state University.
Since we live so rural, few parents are willing to drive to state academic competitions so my child has won the state history fair, science fair, math counts, over 20 science Olympiad medals, and is in all state orchestra. They are also ranked #1 in a very unusual sport in our county and #5 in our state plus they have piles of other awards from both high school and her concurrent enrollment college. Our area does not have the SAT locally. In 9th grade my child took the ACT and got a 35.

A few years ago our area seem to be noticed by out of state colleges for the first time. As someone who attended one of seven sisters colleges, I was shocked that so many kids would turn down full scholarships to great colleges because they don’t want to leave our area. Our area is seen as safe to these kids and out of high school, many good students get married and are able to get jobs and afford a new nice house in a safe place near family, so why go to an out of state college in a big “scary” city. In the last few years only Brown and MIT have each got one student to go to their school.
MIT has expressed a lot of interest in my child, it is not my child’s first choice. My child has met with Brown, Mt Holyoke, Smith, Williams, and Yale. They all seem very interested in finding such an accomplish girl from a rural area that has a very low rate of women going to college.

Now our big problem is medical care and we feel like we just can’t live so rural anymore. We have an older child that has some medical issues and we are driving over 800 miles to for just regular care. It is just getting too stressful to drive so far every month, take time off from work and insurance issues are becoming so stressful because we cross state lines for care. I also live in constant worry if my older child has an emergency , there is no local care and it could be very serious.
My husband got a job offer in CT, it would give our older child excellent medical care and the insurance is great. My husband and I would love to live where we can do things, like go to a museum, a beach, a concert, we have lived for years with just a handful of resturants and movies for date night. I also think my child needs to see the real world for more then a vacation. Living so rural in a very religious area, my child might have a huge shock going from here to a big city college. Having 2 years in a bigger city might help them adjust to the real world.

I just worry moving my child to CT (or maybe MA depending on houses and taxes) will hurt their chances of getting into a good college. My child’s top choices are Harvard, Amherst, and Columbia. They would like to be a pathologist.

I just really get the sense when these colleges have visited our rural town, they desperately want someone from this specific rural area and while my child is a very good student , it is the area they care about more then my child.

Am I ruining my child’s chances by moving? Will these schools see my child went to school in this rural area for 11 years and consider it or is it just where they are applying from? If we move to CT or West. MA, I would pick a safe suburban high school , which I know will be way more competitive and have multiple kids shooting for IVy league.

2

I think it will matter a lot. I know so many truly talented and accomplished (brilliant students, award winners, etc) girls turned down by match colleges last year and part of the reason was the lack of diversity hook. An underrepresented state is a good hook, I have been in college admissions presentations where they asked the specifically “if anyone is from X state, please let us know!”. Can your family stick it out until applications are complete? Can your high schooler live with friends for senior year?

3

Do you feel enough of a connection with anyone at MIT or the other schools you have mentioned to get in touch and ask them this question? That would seem more useful to me than getting anecdotal responses here, since yours seems like a very unique situation (I’ll be happy to backtrack from that statement if a host of farm-to-city folks chime in).

4

You have a child who needs medical care. Currently you are driving 800 miles for what that child needs. There is no question here. Your husband needs to take the job and you need to move. Your other child will manage…and may end up with a great essay about growing up in the middle of nowhere and then suddenly being thrust into a competitive Northeast high school where - for all you know - she may rise to the top and be even more impressive for her accomplishments.

5

Don’t deprive yourself and your family things you need (healthcare) and want (urban pleasures) on the off chance that it will “ruin” your child’s Ivy chances. Your daughter sounds like a rock star who will do well wherever she ends up. And there are excellent schools besides Harvard, Amherst and Columbia.

6

The answers from @janjmom and @katliamom are much better than mine, but you probably figured that out by now.

7

why worry about college if you have more important things to take care off and moving to a new area isnt an issue you can always explain in the apps plus if the college is already interested you have some connection there

8

I have a child who’s got one foot in the ER at all times. I have driven 800 miles to get the best medical care. I couldn’t imagine the stress I’d be under if that were my only option in an emergency.
Your daughter isn’t going to lose what makes her unique and special on moving into another state. The new experiences, educational and otherwise, may make her thrive and blossom. Her list of acceptances may look different, but frankly…if you were convinced that the only chance your daughter has to be accepted to certain schools is because of her current zip code, and you were to somehow able to arrange matters for her to be able to apply from that current zip code…would your daughter be happy with that acceptance? Or would she always feel like the poor relation from the farm?
But regardless of your daughter‘s chances and feelings, there are lives at stake here. You (and she) will be doing the right thing. And if she feels she really couldn’t forgive you for blowing her chances of that geographic hook, she should be old enough and mature enough and your rural community close knit enough for her to find a place to stay for the rest of her high school education. But then that’s on her, and her priorities.
Yours, as a mother of more than one child, must by necessity be different.
I wish you all the best! Stressful times for the family all around. Will you keep us posted?

9

I don’t think you’re off-base to worry a little about this. It’s normal for a parent to try and avoid making a decision for one kid that might hurt the other–no matter the circumstances. That’s painful to think about.

However, I’ll echo what others have said but for a slightly different reason: if your child has already maxed out accomplishments in her school and home state (as a 10th grader), it seems like the best thing for her would be to move into a more competitive environment. She’ll be able to find her intellectual peers and have her eyes opened to even broader horizons. In fact, I’d be actively looking for this kind of change if my kid had accomplished what yours has. The alternative is that she stay in her rural community and get frustrated by the lack of challenge. Two more years of high school is a long time.

My humble advice is to grab the new opportunity, move east, and have a great family adventure! Your daughter seems to have the work ethic and skill to do well anywhere, and her rural background will be an interesting part of her whole story.

10

In the beginning of junior year, we moved from a very achievable hs, where I was a top kid, to a super hs outside DC. Yes, I left everything familiar, it altered my college shots.

But not one day ever have I regretted the leap in intellectual opportinities, growth, plus the difference in life experiences.

I’m having trouble imagining a 16 hour drive for med care, where that is. So I imagine this is more than just getting to ER or specialists. But it can be enriching to let oneself, adult or child, take a chance on a new environment.

Yes, there will be adjustments. My new hs was an entirely new game. My accelerated (before AP waz common) courses in the first hs were considered lite in the new. I had to adapt.

But in my case, the right life turn.

11

This post seems a little odd to me. I am wondering if the parent actually wrote it. Sorry, but it is totally irresponsible to even worry about your child’s possible future college when everything is screaming that the husband must take the job in CT. In addition to your other child with medical issues (really, shouldn’t that be your main concern?), all the other reasons are totally valid. No matter where this child lives, he/she will do just fine in college admissions. Your whole family is clearly going to benefit from moving.

12

I agree, no brainer on the move for insurance and medical coverage needs, it just makes sense.

When college choices came up for my daughter, we asked her if she wanted to be a big fish in the pond or just one of the school of fish. Her answer was that she wanted to go to a school where the general student body strengths were as good or better than hers. The enrichment experience was most important to her in what she wanted to gain from her education. She got into a great college and was not a standout and she worked her butt off but would not trade the experience and enrichment gained over those four years.
Find out what is important to your child, there are many options in CT to find a good fit for her needs.

13

I’m confused by “very rural” and “class of over 650”.

14

Some rural schools will pull kids from the entire county?

15

Move to CT. Your family will benefit (from what you have shared).

Would it really be that bad if your daughter attended Smith rather than Harvard? :slight_smile: Mt Holyoke rather than MIT? Not that those are guaranteed either but you say they have already expressed interest, and her chances are great there – even if applying from CT.

16

Since this matters to you, perhaps find a magnet school in a lower performing district in Connecticut. Or another rural district close to a good hospitl. But even if one child’s status is diminished for some specific colleges, your husband’s job and your other child’s health make moving the only thing that makes sense. And q child who’s done so well in everything houkd welcome the challenge, right (even if she’s fearful of course)?

17

Also, what does “Ivy’s have expressed interest” mean? Does it mean that she has received mailings from them? Because many top students do…the Ivy’s want many people to apply so they can reject most of them to keep their acceptance ratios low.

18

If the OPs child is #1 of 650 then they are definitely Ivy material, the next hurdle is the ACT which should be 34+, if it isn’t and no hook then the odds start to drop on getting into anty very selective college.

19

^^ OP states that her daughter got a 35 on the ACT freshman year.

20

OP said that she herself graduated from a Seven Sisters college so she undoubtedly knows the score.