<p>I don’t understand why people are recommending a “change”…obviously I’m happy in my relationship, why would I ruin it just to find someone else for no reason…? If I’m unhappy or he is then one of us will leave…</p>
<p>You said you were 18, then how are you already a transfer student in college?
Most 18 year olds are freshman.</p>
<p>Ok…people are just trying to recommend in a “subtle” way that perhaps 18 year old is too early to move in with a boyfriend. You have your whole life for that. </p>
<p>The recommendation is to dorm, or if you don’t have the money, stay in housing with 3-4 other freshman or other college students.</p>
<p>If you think you are so mature as to start living with your BF (how old is he? he seems to be working and living alone so I presume he is in 20s…?)</p>
<p>Gist of what we are trying to say is - it is too early to commit to living as a couple. There you go, I said it. Now it is of course your choice what you do. </p>
<p>But we as adults, have seen the world a little more and we know what you feel at 18 is not what you will feel at 30 and we don’t want you to have regrets looking back. Because we have seen people who have been there, done that and regretted how life turned out. So you can take our advise or do whatever you want. But that is where we are coming from - voice of experience :)</p>
<p>^Excellent post.</p>
<p>Ok, I’m just going to give you my perspective. </p>
<p>At 18 I was engaged and had been with the same guy since freshmen year of high school. I had basically lived with him for a very long time and he was going to move to my university town with me, but we decided it was best for me to live on campus so he stayed an hour away back home. I went and saw him every weekend. After a year and a half of college, we realized we were just going separate ways and we split up on very good terms. We were simply not the same people at 20 and 21 that we were at 15 and 16. While we were madly in love in high school, we grew up and realized we were just not the same people that we had been. Even though our break up was very amicable, it would have been excruciating for us had we lived together especially since we both got into relationships after the break up. </p>
<p>18 is just not the right age to move in with someone. You need to establish yourself at this new college before you should move in with your s/o. I’m not against living with a s/o at school. I moved in with my boyfriend at 20 after being together for only about 8 months. However, we both had established friend bases at school and if it were to end, we both have places to go.</p>
<p>In reality, you want to live in an apartment and you seem to be looking for people to validate your plan. We’re not going to do that. The vast majority of the people on here will tell you not to live off campus your s/o your first year. </p>
<p>And how are you a transfer student at 18? Where did you live your freshmen year?</p>
<p>No one is suggesting you will break up just to date other people or live up the college experience. I was much like you - I never attended a college party and always commuted, so I wasn’t very social. But I still changed, and realized that my boyfriend, like romanigysyeyes said, was not the same guy he was even just a year or two before (we were together 3 years before we lived together, and he had lived with me at my parents house for a year, so I was well aware of what living with him would entail). </p>
<p>I realize the costs are high living in a dorm, which is why I would suggest looking for a roommate on your own, or maybe a few people to share a house with. I have been in your situation, and so have a few others here, and we all had the same ideas - to save money, live with the ones we loved, and hoped that if a break up occurred that it would be mutual or at least as painless as possible. </p>
<p>It sounds to me that you made up your mind about living with your boyfriend before you made this thread, and you are now defending your decision to everyone who disagrees. I think deep down you know that it is the best decision for YOU to not move in with him at your age. </p>
<p>There are alternatives than dorming. You don’t have to consider them, but at least come up with an answer or action plan for some of these questions: what will you do if a break up happens, you are hurt (or he is hurt) and it is too painful to continue living together? What if this happens in the middle of your semester - where will you go? Will you, or he, really sleep on the couch for months until a new living arrangement is made? What if he starts dating another girl and wants to bring her to the apartment - or you meet someone else? What if he loses his job or some other financial problem comes up, and he can no longer support his side of the bargain? What if it is an unsafe area to live in and you don’t feel comfortable? No one wants any of this to happen to you, and no one is saying that it will. But you need to have a solid plan so that you are not put in a very difficult situation.</p>
<p>I am a transfer because I graduated early.</p>
<p>Thank you everyone! I will consider what each of you said.</p>
@llakes11 There’s a [similar, recent thread](Does this sound like a bad idea? - College Life - College Confidential Forums) on the same subject or you can start your own.