loans without going through aid office?

Paying for College
1

<p>messy situation where my mom can pay her half of my college expenses out of pocket but my dad wants me to take out student loans that he will "cosign and pay back later". i don't trust him at all. he has this idea that since i'm going to cornell, i will be able to "write a blank check with my name on it" or some other nonsense thing that "ensures me at least $250,000 when i graduate". to me, this means that he will initially cosign and then later turn around and say "haha, gotcha!" and leave me with debt. </p>

<p>i've decided i'm going to tell him that i can't get student loans and want him to take out private loans to cover his share and then he can give that money to my mom and she'll handle the process of actually dealing with the college bills. i've heard something about needing to take some sort of proof of aid or something to the banks to get student loans. is this also true for private loans that will be used for college costs? since it's a private loan, i don't need anything like that, right? is there any way he can make me sign for a private loan as a student/person with no credit? </p>

<p>sorry if the questions seem stupid; i have no idea how money/financial aid/college costs/loans work :(</p>

2

<p>You don’t necessarily need to go through the te university for private aid. SOME schools have links to outside banks and credit unions that faciliate private student loans but those are usualy just suggestions and you dont have to use them; most schools don’t even have that and expect you take care of any private loans on your own.</p>

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<p>not only can’t he MAKE you sign, there’s no way you could sign for a private loan even if you wanted to on your own. you need a cosigner with good credit each and every time you get a loan, and each and every time you get a loan. </p>

<p>he cant just turn around say “gotcha”; if he cosigns and you default, he has to pay back the loan or deal with the issus the same as if he had gotten the loan himself and had defaulted. </p>

<p>this seems like an odd situation. if your dad is willing to help, why go through the whole process of messing with private loans when he has the money already. if he IS not WILLING to help, then why is he trying to trick you into getting a huge debt?</p>

3

<p>It sounds like your dad may not have the funds in an easily accessed place - perhaps he doesn’t want to disrupt his investment/retirement portfolios at this time or something like that. He should probably apply for a Parent Plus loan, which will not involve putting you on the loan at all, if he’s willing to pay his share. If he’s unwilling to pay his share, there’s not a lot you can do about it (unless this was part of the divorce agreement, then your mom could seek to have it enforced). Generally, divorce agreements with provisions for college education stipulate a certain amount/equivalency to the prevailing instate public college rate.</p>

<p>It’s not clear from your post whether you’ll be taking the Stafford loans you’re eligible for, but it sounds like you’re not planning to. If so, you might consider doing that for this year if it will mean the difference between attending Cornell and staying home. I don’t feel that it’s a parent’s duty to pay for any school their child wants to attend if the student is unwilling to put some “skin in the game”…just my $.02!</p>

4

<p>My suggestion is to try and not use your mother as the go-between money holder with your <em>dad’s</em> money contribution. I’m pretty sure by now in the divorce (?) situation your dad is sick and tired of being treated like a faceless wallet and told to pony up money and just give it to his ex-wife. Give your dad other options that are respectful of his autonomy, his contribution, and doesn’t require him to have to “pay your mom”. </p>

<p>Your dad can pay the college directly. Your dad can give you the cash directly. (If you must, you can then forward the money to your mom but take mom out of the initial exchange.)</p>

<p>Talk to your dad - just ask if he can afford to pay cash directly to the college or if PLUS or other private loans are an option for him to take out in his own name. Be straight and tell him you do not want to take out any student loans <em>unless</em> you (the student) are accepting 100% responsibility for them. </p>

<p>You definitely need to get a crash course on how money and financial aid works. Not just how the different kinds of loans work but also to understand a bit better how the <em>emotional</em> toll of divorce and money works so that you can see things more empathetically from your father’s point of view… there are likely some deep financial and emotional stresses about your parents’ finances that are starting to come to play… try not to take sides (usually what happens is the father is vilified) and come to terms with each of your parents’ financial limititations so that <em>you</em> can make a plan to get through college based on what money is actually available and actually being offered to you (vs what you hope for or what you think you are due).</p>

<p>I get that you don’t trust your dad - but don’t lie that you are unable to get student loans (you qualify most likely for at least Unsub Staffords). Now is not the time to lie to your dad to manipulate him. Be straight instead. </p>

<p>Good luck.</p>

5

<p>i didn’t apply for aid, so i couldn’t get student loans anyway, right? his reason for wanting me to get student loans, or so he says, is so that he can take them out and not pay interest on them. they were divorced and their settlement says he needs to pay for half of whatever my educational costs may be. he is extremely sneaky and has hurt my family financially which is why i don’t trust him. he likes to do everything up until it means actually DOING it, which is why i don’t believe that he will actually do his part unless all the responsibility lies on him. he’s a big fan of saying “oh, well because of me my daughter goes to cornell” but he doesn’t actually contribute anything. he’s also under the impression that the tiny amount of child support he sends my mother comes to me and i can use it for whatever i want -_-. my mom would end up taking over for his half as well if he doesn’t do this, which is completely unfair. </p>

<p>sk8rmom - can parents take stafford loans? </p>

<p>the problem is he feels really entitled. he’s been retired for a few years and isn’t even 55 yet. he married some woman who is way younger and where they live, they need to pay the government to be able to be retired early. basically he sits around in his luxurious apartment and goes on vacations all the time. his 1 year old wears burberry. he has the money but doesn’t want to spend it on ME, which is why i don’t believe that he would pay back student loans. another question: if i were to get student loans and he cosigned, if i didn’t pay them, that would mean that my credit would go way down, right? i don’t want to put myself in danger because he’s selfish. </p>

<p>oh and the only reason i said he could just give it to my mom to handle is because we pay directly from a checking or savings account. he could do it from his, but then he would have access to my student thing and he could potentially just take it from my mom’s account info.</p>

6

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<p>Why didn’t you apply for aid? It sounds like you need to have some…even if it’s only the Stafford loans. By completing the FAFSA, you will be able to take out $5500 in Stafford loans for your freshman year…but if you are expecting to pay 1/2 of the cost of attendance at Cornell…this won’t cover it. I hate to say it…but it is HIGHLY unlikely you will be able to secure loans without a cosigner for 1/2 of the cost of attendance at Cornell.</p>

<p>How did you plan to pay for college? Was this discussed before you accepted Cornell’s offer of admittance?</p>

7

<p>Tell your dad that student loans are for STUDENTS. And if you need to, you’ll use the student loans to cover your own stuff (books, etc.)</p>

<p>If your dad is required via divorce decree to pay 1/2 of your college costs - then it seems only fair that you apply for aid - which opens you up for merit scholarships, student work-study (working on campus to defray costs), YOUR student loans, and qualifies possibly your father to actually take a PLUS-Parent loan out on your behalf which would likely have better rates than the poor guy having to throw it on a credit card. </p>

<p>Simply put, if you are not filling out your FAFSA and CSS (if needed) then <em>you</em> are not doing your due-diligence in the bargain.</p>

<p>It sounds like to me that what you are saying is that you want your father to pay 1/2 price of the “window-sticker price” of COA (about 50K for Cornell) instead of getting a real Financial Aid package - which would be a combo of the list above (your student loans, your student work study, any merit/grants/scholarships, etc) and THEN have your parents pay the remainder via the divorce decree.</p>

<p>The goal is to get some money from your father for college… so work with him. If it is true that he LEGALLY must pay 1/2 – then your MOTHER can take him to court. If this is not legally binding (and you should double triple check this info) then once again you are back to my original advice: stop treating dad like a wallet and start working <em>with</em> him within some limits (ie: your student loans are yours, not his).</p>

<p>Btw - does your mother really have 50K a year in <em>cash</em> to pay for Cornell if dad doesn’t come through? If so, your mom is not really that bad off and this is just old-bad-blood between mom and dad and maybe you should just count your financial-blessings! Dad retiring pre-55 is also a sign your parents have done very well for themselves… if so… stop trying at post-18 years of age trying to “stick it” to dad to “play fair” – you are an adult and it is only the strange vagarities of divorce law that forced divorced parents to pay college costs whereas never-married or never-divorced parents can pay ZERO and the legal system stays out of it.</p>

<p>Love is not a college-fund pie in which each parent must pay money equally (or at all) into it to prove their love. It is annoying that divorce decrees get involved in post-18 year old college funding. Set your limits, work with your dad, have a plan B, and if plan B is in the courts, then leave that up to your mom to decide if it is worth the hassle.</p>

<p>Big picture here. Good luck.</p>

8

<p>You need to quickly file a FAFSA so you can take out small student loans and YOUR DAD can take out PLUS loans that HE will be responsible for.</p>

<p>The problem I see is this…</p>

<p>Your dad won’t be borrowing only one time for your 4 years. He’ll have to go thru the process each year. Is it likely that he would do this each year?</p>

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<p>i won’t get into details, but there are a lot of reasons to be wary of things he could potentially do. i ran a finaid calculator that said i would get pretty much no aid, with the exception of work study and loans. i called the aid office and they said that their online calculator was pretty accurate, with only about 1-2k in grants changing sometimes. cornell doesn’t give merit scholarships. </p>

<p>annika - i appreciate the advice, but you seem to be more on my dad’s side. i do understand where you’re coming from, but trust me when i say that there is a lot of tension between my mom and my dad and also between my dad and me. he has basically decided to pretend that his older children (me, my 2 siblings) don’t exist and he wants to focus on his new child. i don’t think it’s fair for him to just decide that he can start over and ignore his financial responsibilities. he’s been skipping out on medical bills, insurance, etc and that’s already been a problem. school, on the other hand, is a much larger amount of money that we can’t let slide. even if my mom can/could/would pay for the total cost, it’s not fair that he can take that money and do whatever else he wants with it when all 3 of his older children will be in college together soon. i don’t want him to think that he can not pay for me and then also not pay his share for my siblings. it’s in their settlement; i promise. i did check in case i was in the wrong before asking him. </p>

<p>thumper - before deciding to go to cornell, my dad and my mom discussed paying for it and decided to split tuition/room&board evenly (books and transportation, etc are another story…). so he knew this was coming and he knew the yearly cost, the cost per semester, and what the total for my 5 semesters there would be. he said he was fine with it as long as i would be graduating on time, which i am. </p>

<p>i just got an e-mail back from him saying that he will take out private loans, but then it comes to what you said, mom2collegekids. he wants to do each semester or year in pieces so as not to accrue interest. will this be possible? he’s also overseas, so would i have to get my cousin who has his power of attorney to come with me? checking interest rates on PLUS loans and private loans, they don’t seem to be different. is there any benefit to trying for a PLUS loan versus a private one?</p>

<p>thanks for all the help, by the way. i really appreciate it :)</p>

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<p>Is he an American citizen living overseas? If so, I think the simplest thing for him to do would be to apply for a Parent Plus loan online. The credit check is minimal (no extensive documents required) and no one has to go bank shopping for him. I don’t know how US banks feel about granting an unsecured loan to someone with a permanent address overseas, but it would probably be less than ideal. That may be why he is suggesting the loans be in your name, with him as cosigner and, yes, if you didn’t pay it BOTH of you would take a hit on your credit scores and he would be obligated to pay (if the bank accepted him as a cosigner, which might be tricky). But I would research what the Parent Plus requirements are first. Or he could try to get a loan in the country he’s residing in…wire transfers work great:)</p>

<p>So you’re a transfer student with only 5 semesters left to go? How did he pay for your previous college expenses?</p>

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<p>yeah, he’s an american citizen living overseas. i’ll suggest the PLUS loan, thanks :slight_smile: i went to a local state school which was cheap since i commuted. my mom paid for tuition, books, fees, gas, meals, etc and my dad bought me a car. it was 5 semesters including last spring; now there’s only 4 left but i guess that doesn’t matter lol</p>