@LoveTheBard and anyone else reading. I should clarify my children’s father and I split up when they were VERY young. I remarried and he remarried, he moved out of town. It was my husband who died. Yes, still very traumatic. But the aftermath and my own spiral down into a deep depression (I then lost both of my parents within a year of one another),resulted in what amounts to a loss of their mother (me). I believe watching me struggle, and my disconnect may have been more challenging for them than the traumatic event. It’s hard to publicly admit this. However, in situations involving suicide, this is not abnormal. It changes everything for everyone. If you’ve never suffered from depression it’s hard to envision or understand. I could not work, I could not even leave my room, at times it’s still a struggle, the domino effect of the trauma, ensuing depression, which created economic issues, further stigma, etc etc etc. I eventually started my own business, it allows me to disconnect and recharge as needed. BUT we are still here, I did not give up even when I wanted to. And my children are some of the strongest people I have ever met.
She did reluctantly address both the hardships at home and not using accommodations in her personal statement on the common app.
Her accommodation was simple extended time and the score will not be delayed. She has NEVER used her accommodation that she was eligible for until this year. She does not want to be viewed differently, and most teachers were shocked to learn she even needed it. So, her GPA and academic success have been reached without accommodations. I think that speaks pretty loudly about her abilities.
Yes, her counselor indicated that she has taken the most rigorous course load available to her.
Her level of math reached is based on 6th grade state testing and where she placed in math for middle school. It’s kind of a ridiculous thing, I just didn’t know anything different or try to ask for something different in middle school.
She certainly isn’t struggling with her classes this year. She said something interesting to me the other day about how suddenly all the pieces and concepts just clicked.
I believe there were 2 more IB courses offered, IB music theory and IB psych, those just did not fit into her schedule because she also wanted to continue with foreign language and her very selective and advanced choir. Our IB program is very small and sadly I’m hearing it might be discontinued next year. It was important to her to get the core classes in IB rather than the two electives. She chose to continue on in Spanish.
She had all honors classes until JR year when our school begins IB and she has taken all the core IB classes available. I actually think this is pretty typical of a public school. Especially in a public school that doesn’t require a fourth year of math and science. Taking a 4th year of math and science is what our school considers a college prep curriculum.
Also, when you look at her class rank, if she had not been taking the most rigorous classes, she wouldn’t be ranked as high as she is. Some people have told me that she is fine with honors pre Calc, others say it’s a concern. I really don’t know. But it is what it is. And more importantly, the fact that it all really make sense is still a good prediction of her ability to do well in a rigorous college atmosphere, that she craves.
As far as appealing to Grinnell there is no appeal process, all decisions are final. It is stated in the letter. She and I are not focusing on Grinnell, it’s done, she tried, we’re moving forward. I think she’s actually OK with the fact that she’s not going there. What I’m sensing right now is that she’s afraid of future rejections because of this one. She hasn’t reached back out to Knox because she’s afraid she’s gonna say the wrong thing. I feel like we did a pretty good job addressing that there are other schools. But when she has been told for the last 4 years by her GC and our college counselor that she’s done an amazing job and is considered a top student, it’s quite a shock to learn she isn’t.
She knows she did well on the second ACT, and I trust her. Because she always underestimates how well she did. For example, she was sure she didn’t score above a 22 the first time. But she scored a 26.
And she was happily surprised it was as high as it was. Again, 26 is considered a good score in our world. Only one of her peers, and her peers are the top 10 in the class not just top 10%, only one scored higher, and that was a 29 superscored after considerable prep and 3 attempts. That girl and she’s a very bright, driven girl, is going Wichita State and was accepted directly into the engineering program.
It’s hard to compete with kids that clearly were exposed to more. But I assume that shows on the school profile?
Honestly, nobody even suggested she needed to retake the ACT. But I’m glad she did and she utilized her accommodation. She didn’t even end up using the full extended time. If for nothing else, it will help her self-esteem.
I really think mostly what’s going on right now is she’s sick, and she is shocked to learn she isn’t competitive, as was I. We knew that Grinnell was a reach with her ACT score but we didn’t think most other full need schools were.
We honestly thought she did everything right. Because we were told she did and that is how she was guided.
As I look at St.Olaf and other Grinnell type schools, she looks solid with her current stats, even a two point jump places her alongside the middle applicants.
The last thing I said to her before saying good night tonight, after her expressing fear of father rejection was…you’re in good company. Another 82% of kids will also be rejected. And then asked if if she was going to let one rejection define her? She said no and admitted it had just been a hard weekend.
She just needs to get her bearings back. It’s been an emotional weekend. But I think the reasons she is zoned in on Knox are solid. We just need to see what other options look like Knox. I need to help her with a small list, because the bigger I go the more overwhelmed she becomes.
I need to pay attention to even the odd things she is telling me about Knox, because she is revealing and discovering what she needs and wants.
Knox isn’t a reach, and I’m sure there are others like it that aren’t reaches either.
I do remember there being an option in the common app to let someone view it. I don’t know if that option allows that someone to see what the counselor put in? But I do know our counselor has really advocated for her and has great respect for her. But this was his first time ever using the common app. He has literally never seen it before.
I hope that helps clarify some things.
I am as always overwhelmed with gratitude for the very kind people offering assistance and giving me great feedback. I didn’t know about this college world. This application world. I don’t know the strategy.
I just need to be sure that I keep my daughter’s self-esteem intact in this process. Because she believed and everyone around her believed that she was a very solid student, and she is. I don’t want her to start doubting who she is and what she’s capable of.
I don’t ever want to hear her say she feels less than or not good enough, again. I also want her to be in a school that also acknowledges her hard work and gifts. I want her to feel confident when she starts the next phase of her journey.
That confident young woman that interviewed with an admissions rep who loved her, I want her to reclaim that. Because she is articulate, excited, bright, and engaging. And it showed.
If there weren’t, how would she find peers wherever she ends up whom she enjoys, whom she can relate to, and who push her intellectually and otherwise?