@Momtothreegirls If your daughter liked Mac, I think she’d really like Oberlin, if she’s not turned off by small towns. Her enthusiasm for Beloit suggests she might be OK with it. Top merit aid was more generous at Oberlin than at Mac last year.
Thanks, @mamaedefamilia. She is not that concerned about what the town is like - really is focused on what the campus will offer.
I don’t think anyone has mentioned Luther College in Decorah, IA. It is a beautiful campus and they have rolling admissions. We are also from KS and are looking at LAC’s. Our list currently includes: Lawrence, Luther, St Olaf, Denison, Wooster, Gustavus Adolphus, and Beloit.
Luther is a good suggestion! We know a student there who has had wonderful music experience with the choir, with extensive travel opportunities.
I would also second the comment earlier re: Centre. The learning environment you are looking for sounds a lot like my DD and she just finished her first semster. Very generous merit, very intellectually stimulating. She checked out the vibe at Oberlin and did not like it al all. Centre was much more community-based. Good luck.
Other ~midwestern LACs that are approximately as selective as Grinnell include Carleton, Macalester, and (if you consider the CO front range “midwest”) Colorado College.
All 3 claim to meet 100% of demonstrated need, but apparently none of them are need-blind.
Just because Grinnell didn’t work out does not necessarily mean you wouldn’t have better luck with a ~equally selective school. Colorado College is “test flexible”; IB exams are among the tests it will consider
(https://www.coloradocollege.edu/flexibletesting/). If its unusual one-course-at-a-time Block Plan has any appeal, it seems to push most of the “fit” buttons mentioned in the original post. I think Carleton & Macalester do, too.
Without a significant hike in ACT score, Carleton isn’t going to be on the table. Also, they are not completely need blind – they admit that they consider need for part of their class.
Hello everyone! Thank you for all the input. Please remember we are now just 48 hours out from her rejection and 24 hours out from retaking the ACT. She’s also sick, I think she was worn down from stress, she’s got a very rigorous course load in which she has all A’s and she is coming up on finals.
I have yet again found her on the Knox website, she’s been laying in bed because she’s not feeling well she has apparently researched the town she’s telling me where she will shop, what she will do, she said she’ll take her car to campus but she’ll probably ride the train back home for visits because she doesn’t like to drive on the highway for long periods of time.
I tried to talk to her about St Olaf because if we could get in there I know that they would meet most of her need.
And she shut me down. She said she didn’t want to talk about other schools. This kind of brings us back to the same place we were with Grinnell.
As strange as this might sound she is maybe more selective than any of the schools are.
I like her at Knox but without knowing for certain if she will get in or what her financial package would be, I can’t say if that will work. As her parent I want her to have options. But I can tell you that this is a lot of forward thinking about the school. I think it may be a great little fit if we can make it a financial fit.
And I will re-iterate how very unsavvy we are about admissions. We don’t know what is the right thing or wrong thing on apps, essays, contact, etc. We are very real people and we try to say what we mean and mean what we say and we expect others to do the same. And I think she has a once confident 17-year-old assumes that people can see who she is. I also think she is now still struggling a little bit with feeling like she has worked so hard and no one’s recognizing it.
Maybe she just needs a few more days, but that’s where the parent in me kicks in…Because if we can’t get the right financial package from Knox, we need to look at early decision or early action, elsewhere. She has such a busy courseload and exec board meetings and concerts over the next two weeks I don’t think she’ll have a chance to sleep let alone revise applications.
I think right now I’m just venting and feeling powerless. And I am also concerned that the enthusiasm we initially heard from Knox will go away because I did something wrong or said something wrong. And I think she is now hesitant to reach out herself because she feels like she’s gonna say something wrong or there’s going to be something wrong about her that she’s not even aware of.
And it would be devastating to be accepted to a school that you really like but then realize there’s no way we can go.
Or devastating to not be accepted at all.
It’s so funny the things that she’s telling me about Knox. The little quirky things she’s focusing on, those are things I would’ve expected.
I still feel very confident that there will be a significant score increase, mostly because she feels that confident about it. And I am just torn about what to do. Do I just leave it and then she is without options, or do I continue to push her to look elsewhere.
Obviously I love my daughter very much. I want what’s best for her. I want to help her with the things that I know she doesn’t know, like debt…I know that she is exhausted, sick, and also feeling like she isn’t good enough. Those are hard things for anyone let alone a 17-year-old.
I know that she longs for some closure. She longs for that match between her and the school and the money. I know that she wants to focus on second semester of her senior year with this behind her. But that means I have to push.
I’m sure I’m rambling. Because it’s been an emotional ride for me and I’ve been putting in quite a bit of work as well. And I want to see her be successful and feel confident again. But she is a quirky girl, I love that about her. So of course she picked a quirky school, of course she is focused on this one school, and I think it’s worthy of her focus.
I just don’t know what to do next. I’m sure there are other quirky schools that she would end up loving but she does not want to broaden her search.
So, I will add the interesting, quirky things that she’s telling me she likes about Knox. All of this is quite a revelation to me I might add.
Obviously she likes the size, she likes what she’s reading about the kind of students thst go there, All of the things that she was looking for in a school they have. So, those things are obvious.
New revelations. She likes that it’s on an Amtrak route (wow, I had no idea that would be a thing.)
She likes the proximity to Chicago not too close but close enough she could drive from campus for a weekend. ( I didn’t even know she was drawn to Chicago)
She likes the Target (store) in town.
She likes the geography of the town believe it or not. She spent quite a bit of time looking at different views of this town on Google.
She likes that she can drive her car to campus so she can get around the town (she even told me where she would go and what she would do), but then she wouldn’t have to rely on driving home because she isn’t super comfortable with long highway drives, she could take the train and study or sleep.
At times I think I know my daughter so well, and then I realize I don’t have a clue how her mind works. This is a really deep diving into the school, this is some serious interest on her part.
The things that we as parents think are important may not be the things that are our is focused on. Once the initial match for her needs was there, it was the little things in the list above that continue to make it right.
I’m still terrified that they might reject her, I have no idea how I’ll come up with $5000- 6000 for her first semester beyond loans and grants and aid, when I often worry about $500, and as mentioned before the phone call was very encouraging but I don’t know if that is what it will look like financially when and if an acceptance comes.
Is this where I come to the realization that we can’t afford college? Is this where I have to say I am so sorry, I know you have worked so hard and overcome so much but I can’t make it happen? Or are we just tired and beat down from the rejection and the realization that we know nothing?
There’s no way she’ll go to community college, I know she’s maybe not a Harvard student or Grinnell, but she’s definitely not a community college student either.
I’m sure this is just way too much for a post and probably very disjointed and rambling. But today, starting to feel pretty hopeless. Starting to feel like I can’t do anything right. Starting to feel like I really have been the worst mom ever. I’m starting to feel like I am about to let my daughter down in the biggest way ever. Like I may have misled her about college. And yes in fact it’s true we just can’t go, Mom was mistaken about hard work.
I really wish she would look at St. Olaf and other schools mentioned in this thread because I know they would meet her need. But I haven’t done enough to help her stand out and it’s unlikely she’ll be accepted.
I’m just going to say, not every kid loves Knox. My kid did NOT like it when she visited. Getting hooked on ONE school, especially when she needs a full ride, is not a good idea. It would be great to have this over with, but she is looking for someone to pretty much give her a $250,000+ education. That is worth some attention and elbow grease. She has worked hard, BUT she needs to apply to actually get recognized, and she needs to apply to schools that are more likely to give her that kind of huge financial aid package.
It is FREE for the schools to be enthusiastic to you now. But they are running a business, and it would be a mistake to just apply to Knox and call it a day.
I think you need to do this:
- You need to lay out what you CAN afford. And keep to that line. Explain to her that her choices may come down to local community college if none of the schools she applies to meet her need.
- Give her a list of schools that you think might be a fit that she hasn’t applied to yet. Maybe two lists – one if her ACT score is better but not great (say, up to a 28) vs. 30+. I think she won’t have scores until Jan 2, though – but some of these schools have later application dates. Tell her she MUST apply to X more schools off those lists.
- You can have a couple of schools that are “mom’s choice” and insist that she apply to them. Tell her she has to apply, and you will look at visiting if she gets in and the FA package looks good. Then if she hates them and wants to go somewhere else that is affordable, she has that choice and you will never mention them again. (My kid ended up at her “mom’s choice” school)
Do you have a copy of the Fiske Guide to Colleges? See if your school GC has a copy you can borrow for a few days or check the library – it doesn’t have to be this year’s copy. They have nice summaries that your kid could look at for those schools.
What’s wrong with community college students? I was a low income student with excellent grades and above average test scores who started at a cc because my parents couldn’t afford residential college. I met plenty of other highly capable students there. Most students attend a local school because they can’t afford residential college.
Do you have a clear idea of what you can afford (without parent loans)? Have you communicated that to her? If not, now may be a good time to do that. I hope she has financial safeties on her list. It’s not necessary for families to go $100k in debt for college.
What intparent said. I think she will be accepted at Knox but it might end up being a financial rejection. She needs to have a few choices. She has suffered a big disappointment and she’s not feeling well but I would do what intparent suggests above and ask her to apply to a few parental choices. You could give her a day or two to feel better and get some distance from her rejection from Grinnell but the clock is ticking so she doesn’t have a lot of time.
You seem willing to do some research so based on the things you know are important to her maybe you could prioritize a list for her to pick from? There was a link earlier that showed which schools are meeting full need that includes schools that are above 90%, that would seem to be important to look carefully at that list.
I think everyone who has responded to this thread is pulling for your daughter and hopes that she will find a good fit that is affordable. I would hate to see her not have any choices in the spring because I think there are schools out there that would work for her.
I haven’t read past the first page so I apologise if this has already been said but has the OP’s daughter considered applying to test optional schools? It seems to me that her ACT is all that’s holding her back. Places like Bates and Wesleyan would become low reaches/high matches if she applied there test optional.
http://www.fairtest.org/sites/default/files/Optional-Schools-in-U.S.News-Top-Tiers.pdf
I think you need to let a week or so pass and then give your D a reality check. If you need almost full aid then no school is a lock even if she is academically qualified. She cannot just focus on Knox or any one school And you both cannot trust any financial or academic pre-reads (as you unfortunately learned during the Grinnell application process). She must embrace and apply to a wide group of schools.
I do want to reiterate that if the honors program at the State U is an affordable option that should not be dismissed – many people end up at a school that is affordable rather than ideal. Some honors programs do a great deal to make a large school feel smaller with separate dorms, classes for the students in the program so be sure to get the details on what your D’s honor program will give her.
I think a lot will depend on the result of the latest ACT. Most “meets full demonstrated need” colleges are pretty selective, and will require that she boost her ACT by at least 2-4 points to be a really competitive applicant.
I second those who caution against focusing on one dream school. That is a recipe for disappointment when you need to land major aid. I suggest applying to many colleges, with an emphasis on those where your daughter’s stats are above-average.
Have you looked at Berea College? That’s the name I think of when I think of a college with a special mission to educate good students who have literally no money.
I agree. I think you can give her a few days to feel better, but have an honest conversation with her. You don’t want her to be disappointed again and you want her to have options. You can sit with her and go through college websites, or show her schools similar. There are many college choices and many students can fit at many schools. If Knox turns out to be it, fantastic! If it turns out not to be affordable, you will have given her other choices. You will have also given yourself piece of mind that you did what you could to support her journey.
I haven’t read the whole thread but Franklin and Marshall has a commitment to enrolling low income students AND they have a special program called the Mehlman’s Scholar Program for students who have persevered through adversity AND they meet 100% of financial need. You should take a look at it.
Yes, I agree that Franklin & Marshall is a good option.
Also agree on F&M - great school that fits; DD’s have a best bud there and she loves it.
Tonight is the time to be brutally honest with her, even if she get’s angry with you. You need to tell her that it is not in her best interest right now to fall in love with a school that she doesn’t know if she can get into or afford. Tell her she absolutely positively needs to find other schools that she feels positively about. She may very well get into Knox and they may make it affordable for her, but you never know. It’s hard to play the bad guy, but if you don’t research other schools right now then you will both regret it. Good luck!!
I’ve been reading along, and I think people have given you a good list of colleges to check out. Honestly, I’m going to say that the best piece of advice you’re getting is that it’s not good to fall in love with one college. What’s done is done, but now that you have more information, you can counsel her to keep her options open and apply to a few colleges that should meet your financial need and a few that offer merit. In the end, an acceptance isn’t an acceptance if it’s not affordable. So the best thing is to apply broadly and see which colleges can meet your need.
I agree that a big change in her ACT score can make a world of difference, but right now you can’t count on that, so I’d apply to some places that will be ok with the current score, and maybe some that would be reaches. While I understand that travel expenses are a financial burden, I also think that many meets-full-need colleges are far away. And your daughter’s home state becomes more “interesting” to admissions folks the further you go. So I think it’s worth applying to some of the ones mentioned upthread that aren’t very close to home.
I know rejection hurts. But it was just one college. There are so many wonderful places out there. I hope this helps and I wish you all the best on your search.