Looking for advice on school list

I’m feeling a bit anxious, and disoriented, we’re not sure if our list of school is a good fit for DS who is applying for G10.

We have 8-10 on the list. It depends on how the interviews go, we may slim it down to 6-8. We need FA so I think the catch is there from what I read. Currently we have:

  • Milton
  • Suffield
  • George School
  • Mercersburg
  • Loomis
  • Hotchkiss
  • Concord Academy
  • Governor’s Academy
  • Deerfield
  • Choate

About DS, I’m just going to randomly list his personality/academics so my apology.

  • Almost 14, very responsible and independent, excellent time management skill, know how to look for help but a bit shy to approach adults for help
  • Since G6 got 2 Honor Roll and 4 Principal Honor Roll of the total 6 semesters from G6-G8
  • Well liked by teachers and friends but not a social butterfly type. He does have friends but a bit picky, he has clear definition of kids that he thinks are bad influence therefore don’t want to go near them. Recently 2 of his good friends moved country, this has made him feel like he doesn’t have many he has good connections with.
  • Not a sporty type, more of a nerd but quite humorous.
  • Likes to watch documentaries, up to date on current news, avid reader, vast knowledge on politics, computer, in my opinion he is a knowledgeable kid
  • We have no hook
  • Awards in best in Math, best in Design
  • Likes cross country, was in Junior Varsity swim team for 2 years, in Robotics for 2 years, and Coding club
  • Enjoys biking and running
  • Played piano but not a naturally gifted pianist, did pass Level 6 although barely
  • Teachers speak positively about him so I think he can get great references.

To me a school that support happiness is more important than having to be a valedictorian. Grades are important but being a kid, I want him to enjoy being in school, have fun, make friends, learn how to live independently rather than always feel like in pressure cooker. I don’t doubt his academic ability, he has always been the top 1% at school but yeah no hooks, not sporty, need FA so I wonder if he will be accepted in one of the above.

Would appreciate any of your input. Thank you!

I’ll let others respond about fit and chances, but it might make you happy to know that many of the boarding schools discussed here (Choate for instance) adhere to the origin of the word “valedictorian,” from the Latin valedicere , which means "bid farewell.” At these schools, the valedictorian is the person selected to give the valedictory address, not the person with the highest GPA although, coincidentally, that person could be the one chosen to give the address. Often, it is the student body who selects the valedictory speaker.

1 Like

The public high school our boys attended also did this to try to reduce the competition among students. They moved to a Latin honors system where a 3.9 unweighted GPA or above was summa cum laude and anyone who had that cumulative GPA after senior fall could apply to be the graduation speaker. The school chose one student from all the applicants and then the seniors chose their class speaker from anyone in the class, no matter their grades.

To the OP - our daughter is looking for something similar to your son. A school that is supportive, has kind kids and teachers, and is not a pressure cooker. She is also a straight A student who could be accepted to a very rigorous program, but she’s looking for more of a balanced school-social-activity life.

You might look into Pomfret - I think they fit what you’re looking for and they take the majority of their students in 10th grade.

3 Likes

So, your child will still be 14 when beginning 10th grade at BS? That’s awfully young for 10th grade at boarding school. My 10th grader at one of the schools you mentioned just turned 16, and he’s not nearly among the oldest in his grade there. You might ponder whether or not 9th grade might be a better entrance point.

6 Likes

I couldn’t agree more. Our student is a 10th grader in one of the schools you mentioned and recently turned 15. According to our student, our kiddo is one of the youngest among the 10th graders, and the other few at the same age are day students.

+100000000.

14 will be young and feel young as a 10th grader. Maybe it’s right for him, but I’d definitely explore this with the AOs during the parent discussion/interviews.

Same.
We have two 10th graders who turned 15 about 2 months ago (so just after arriving for 10th grade), and they are younger than many of the current 9th graders. If they were a few months younger still, I would absolutely have wanted them to go back a year. Especially if considering some of the more intense schools.

Ooow I didn’t realize 14 will be a bit young for 10th grader. He has always been on the more mature and independent, even compare to her sister which is 1.5 years older. Uhhm if I bring this up to the AO, wouldn’t it even decrease his chance more?

I would ask by school. At some, they may feel they have enough fluidity between grades that being the age of the kids in the year below him may not matter as much. (And that may be the way to frame it in asking - this as a 10th grader or repeating 9th.)

I see a few on your list where the students almost always lean toward older. He would be younger than the freshmen at these.

Mine was on the younger end, and he had turned 14 prior to 9th.

1 Like

Choate is one of the schools where freshmen skew older. I remember toward the end of our son’s freshman move-in day, all gathered in the common area to meet the dorm parents and his floor advisor. Imagine my shock when the person I had assumed was the advisor based on seeing the tall bearded gentleman visiting multiple rooms speaking in a deep voice to our son and others turned out to be just another freshman. He was a hockey player repeat who was a very mature 16-year-old. There were many others like him.

1 Like

@Siv I think this can be very kid-dependent. When you say he is currently 13, do you mean he turns 14 in April? Or next week? I think if it’s April, then he would be considered by many “a year ahead” but if he turns 14 next week, then he would be considered “on the younger side for his grade.” If he is “a year ahead” then I think schools might pause and want to understand more in order to set him up for success academically and socially. If he is merely “on the younger side for his grade” then I think it’s more something that YOU and your family may want to consider, given that prep schools definitely skew older, as many people repeat.
That said, one of my “on the younger side” daughters joined Mercersburg as a 10th grader (arrived at age 14, but turned 15 that first week), and she did not want to repeat (it was never even a consideration for us or for the school), and she is doing great. She jokes that she has some freshmen friends who are older than she is, but age at prep school can be quite fluid across the grades.
So I guess I would say: if YOU feel like your son is fine socially and academically being definitely on the younger side in his grade (and depending on the birthday, maybe even the very youngest, by 1 year or more), then I think it’s totally fine. But, if he is young enough (like would be 14 most of 10th grade) , it might make the school consider requesting or suggesting a repeat, depending on birthday.
I’ll add very unofficially that I would expect the more intense the schools academics are, the older the students I would expect would skew, so the bigger this issue would be. (again, just my guess). Also, a school that has a scheduled entry point into grades besides 9th would also be a place where I would think younger students would have less of a need to repeat. This is part of why we felt very comfortable with my 10th grader joining Mercersburg – they had 40 spots specifically for new 10th graders, and had 20 spots specifically for new 11th graders. That to me seemed like they expected an influx of new students and would have a way to support them in the transition.
As a mom of a daughter who was a freshman at an academically very intense school (Andover), I can say that when we (briefly) then considered her younger sister (twin of above-mentioned 10th-grade MB student) applying there, I would have 100% held her back and had her repeat. There was no way she could have navigated that socially as a 13 year old freshman. (Andover wasn’t a fit for her for other reasons so we ended up not having to give it much thought.)

4 Likes

I suspect the young age for a 10th grader would decrease his chances for admission at the biggest-name schools on your list. But I hope that’s not your biggest concern, which should be whether or not your child can thrive academically, socially, athletically, musically, emotionally, etc. while most of his classmates and student-athletes at other schools will be considerably older and likely more mature.

He will be 14 at the end of January. This makes me concern, we have never thought he is young at school as he fits in just fine both academically and socially.

May I know which ones are the bigger ones?

Thank you, this is a great explanation. I will bring this question up with the AO about how many G10 they admit to get a feel of their support although I assume the typical boarding schools will have plenty. We do think he doesn’t want to repeat but we will definitely discuss this

I think a late January birthday is quite young and your son may struggle socially just because BS kids lean old, particularly at schools that have a large contingent of kids repeating ninth grade --my sense is that this is fairly common for students who went to junior boarding schools, K-9 schools, and international students who want to bolster their English skills.

Between students repeating a grade, redshirt kids, and the variety of kindergarten starting ages across the US, there can be up to a 2 year gap between the youngest students in a BS class and the oldest. However, I think the average age for ninth graders starting BS is probably closer to 15 than to 13. And the latest that I’ve seen kids turning 14 is Dec 31st (some school districts do kindergarten entry on the calendar year instead of the school year, but most currently demand that kids turn 5 by the first day of school).

My D24 with a winter birthday has classmates who are exactly 1 year older than her and exactly 1 year younger. So her freshman year, she turned 15 in the winter. She had quite a few classmates who turned 16 in the fall/winter and a couple of friends who turned 14 at the same time, but those were rarer. No one turned 14 after the end of the year.

Oh, which are the biggest names is debatable. They are all well-regarded schools. On these boards, the parents most interested in prestige talk a lot about Choate, Deerfield and Hotchkiss, among those you mentioned.

The main point is this: your kid is too young to be in 10th grade at boarding school next year. He’d be exposed to too much before he’s emotionally ready, and, depending on what sports he plays, he’d be in physical danger on the athletic field. For example, a 14-year-old going up against kids as much as five years older in various team sports would be at high risk of physical harm from collisions with much bigger and stronger students.

1 Like

You have a good variety of schools in terms of size, location and academic rigor. Visiting the schools and interviews will help your family determine which ones may be the best fit.

Based on going through the process a few times and currently with one in a HADES school and one at a school that has surprised us positively in its academic rigor, the schools will guide you on reclassification. It was encouraged with both of our two children (daughter and son) currently in boarding schools (not with their older sibling but that was 6 years prior) and even though everyone assumes it was because they were recruited athletes, both were strong students coming in and are so thankful academically because these schools are filled with the best and brightest from around the world. One had a summer birthday so made sense but the other a winter birthday but due to Covid it made sense too.

Best of luck!

1 Like

Talking to my husband and are contemplating full pay, I wonder if this will increase his chance. Another way is DS current school is offering scholarship, but if we ask and for whatever reason don’t end up staying, we may feel bad about it or his school wouldn’t like it.

We like his current school but I personally think he needs more. Ughh, so many decision to make.

Given that most of the schools discussed here maintain a roughly 70/30 full-pay/financial aid ratio, chances are definitely better in the FP pile. If you apply for financial aid, you will complete and submit a Parent Financial Statement (PFS) to the SSS which will return an Expected Parent Contribution (EFC) to each school your child applies to, and each school will know if you have the ability to be FP. If the EFC indicates you can be FP, each school will expect you to be FP each year your child attends unless some financial circumstance seriously and demonstrably changes.

There are lots of threads here discussing this issue. We are an example of a family who did not think we could possibly be FP and applied for (partial) FA only for the EFC to determine that we did not qualify. Two schools contacted us on M9 (one day before decision day, M10) to say they would like to admit our son but only if we could we could be FP as they could not award any aid to us based on our EFC. We had 24 hours to decide. It was a gut-wrenching time in our house as pulling that trigger meant a draconian four years for us, but we did it, and (12 years later) have no regrets.

Bottom line: You don’t really get to decide whether or not to be FP if the SSS decides you can write those checks. Best to just apply FP outright as not all schools will call/move your child’s app to the FP pile if don’t qualify for FA. Don’t take that risk.

3 Likes