As far as friendliness this was a HUGE consideration in our household. We found that Bryn Mawr and Haverford both have cultures of purposefully creating calming, caring student bodies that cooperate. They have self-scheduled exams. The Quaker tradition also seems to come into play as they have cultures of trusting the students to do the right thing. This means they can take an exam when they’re ready and without the hawkish proctors standing by. There are no proctors … stuff is left on campus openly (computers for example if you need to get up from studying and go to get a coffee) and no one takes things. BMC and Haverford share many campus facilities and have nearly the same culture, not entirely the same. The two are all about “personal responsibility”–it’s calming and pleasant. Because they share facilities and have intermeshed academic schedules, buses between campuses, BMC students do have males in the classroom, there are parties at Haverford and a blue bus to take the women back to BMC. BMC has a more studious air overall, but they have ample opportunities to socialize both at BMC and as I said above they parties are at Haverford. BMC also has a grad program and so there are males on campus for that reason too. Both of these schools are hard to get into. BMC though would give a lot of merit probably to your daughter (as both schools have their own philosophies about FA and BMC has the much higher endowment). I think that there may be a shared dorm between the two schools. She would also be able to take classes at UPenn (train fare 11 miles to Philly paid for by her home school) and at Swarthmore (bus to and from both H and BMC). Swat, H, and BMC also share social groups – music etc. and some departments, like I think linguistics. Swat however is known for being very competitive among the students.
Because both H and BMC are hard to get into, I urged my child who loved this grouping to look further. We discovered Connecticut College also has self-scheduled exams and an Honor Code. Also Mt. Holyoke has huge merit to offer, an honor code (which is what allows the students to self-schedule exams, self-monitor dorm behavior at H and BMC, so no heavy oversight of RAs – that sort of thing). Mt. H is further from the cute town of Northampton but Mt. H has buses to take them shopping and they can also take classes at Amherst Collge, Smith, Hampshire, and UMass Amherst with free buses.
Smith is more SJW to my mind and none of my children liked it very much for that reason. They found it too overtly political.
She may want to look at Barnard–it is needs=meeting only, shares all facilities with Columbia but also is its own college in that if she chooses she could never leave Barnard and find all that she needs in a school. There’s a strong sisterhood there–but of course lots of men across the street at CU! Because it’s in NYC on the whole the campus felt to me less overtly political than say Smith – probably because there are so many distractions in NYC. Barnard is a great school but compared to the others mentioned above it doesn’t consciously attempt to lower the competitive atmosphere.
Vassar is a top school, meets full need, no merit and the students are live and let live in terms of not being competitive academically. The college is situated in a city at the end of the MetroNorth commuter train line that goes to Grand Central Station in NYC and so it’s possible to take day trips from there to NYC and back. This colors the atmosphere somewhat. Some students work or are active in the City and so the campus doesn’t feel like so much of a bubble as in other places. Vassar is gorgeous and has 2000 acres of arboretum.
Also on our list for friendliness and premed was Earlham. They would provide lots of merit for you I predict.
For a current child – also seeking friendly campus and not interested in alcohol or smoking at all–we are considering St. Olaf, Connecticut College, Wheaton in Massachusetts, Wooster (but maybe too many frats here).
