<p>she is fine... as far as i know only felonies and drug charges result in loss of most scholarships. I got an MIC(minor in consumption) and they didnt do anything.</p>
<p>Hotpiece101,</p>
<p>I am an attorney. People here have given you good advice but I want you to hear it from someone who won't sugercoat it.</p>
<p>I assume the legal age to drink in your state is 21 and, if so, you and your friends are not just underage but you are seriously underage. You have regular parties so you probably have been doing this for awhile. When did you or your friends start drinking - age 15? 14? 13? From your description, your friends knew to run when the police came. Therefore, it's clear this isn't a group of kids experimenting with alcohol for the first time. This is a group that parties with alcohol, invites new friends to join them, disregards the laws prohibiting underage drinking, and thinks running from the police is part of the game.</p>
<p>With regard to your first-time-to-drink friend, let me clue you in on something about police. Police can set up random sobriety check-points in some circumstances but the vast majority of DUI stops occur because the officer observes suspicious behavior. People who have been drinking never think they are drunk but they drive in predictable ways - they weave, drive too slow or too fast, randomly change lanes, and take evasive or overly cautious behavior after spotting the police car. Your friend made the conscious decision to drive home after drinking. She was stopped by the police and I doubt it was at a checkpoint. It probably occurred because she wasn't driving as well as she thought and the police had probable cause to stop her. If she believes she was fine that night but unlucky, she is in denial and won't learn anything from this. </p>
<p>Your efforts to help your friend are probably motivated by concern and caring but you aren't doing anyone a favor by trying to make it all go away. This is seriously stupid behavior and a good friend would say so - to her, to your other friends, and most of all to yourself.</p>
<p>
[quote]
You have regular parties so you probably have been doing this for awhile. When did you or your friends start drinking - age 15? 14? 13?
[/quote]
the kids at the party probably began drinking at 14 or 15. a lot of them seem like heavy alcoholics...
[quote]
With regard to your first-time-to-drink friend, let me clue you in on something about police. Police can set up random sobriety check-points in some circumstances but the vast majority of DUI stops occur because the officer observes suspicious behavior.People who have been drinking never think they are drunk but they drive in predictable ways - they weave, drive too slow or too fast, randomly change lanes, and take evasive or overly cautious behavior after spotting the police car. Your friend made the conscious decision to drive home after drinking. She was stopped by the police and I doubt it was at a checkpoint. It probably occurred because she wasn't driving as well as she thought and the police had probable cause to stop her. If she believes she was fine that night but unlucky, she is in denial and won't learn anything from this.
[/quote]
well, the police saw her drive away from the house, that's why they stopped her. I mean, she seriously got less than 50 yds. when they pulled her over, and as i said earlier, she passed all of her tests, the cops told her that she didn't appear intoxicated but that it was standard procedure to administer a breathalyzer test after a underage alcohol party has been broken up.
[quote]
Your efforts to help your friend are probably motivated by concern and caring but you aren't doing anyone a favor by trying to make it all go away.
[/quote]
we aren't trying to make it all go away, we realize that the law was broken and that there are consequences for that. we just want to make sure that her scholarship isn't taken away in addition to the legal repercussions.</p>
<p>trust me, this is a lesson learned.</p>
<p>
[quote]
we just want to make sure that her scholarship isn't taken away in addition to the legal repercussions.
[/quote]
You are looking for people to tell you it will be okay and that is trying to make it go away. Maybe it will and maybe it won't, but it's her problem now. </p>
<p>During your life in grade school and high school, you probably spent your time trying to please people, get good grades, and maybe you tried to follow the rules although clearly not all of them. As an adult, you still have to follow the rules, please people, and get good reviews (grades) at work, but there is a subtle change in how things work. Most lessons are learned by watching other people make mistakes and deciding to avoid those pitfalls. As a parent, you will want to pass those lessons on to your children so they won't experience the heartache and pain that you did or that you saw other people experience because you know you can't fix it or make it go away. </p>
<p>This is one of those moments.</p>
<p>
[quote]
You are looking for people to tell you it will be okay and that is trying to make it go away. Maybe it will and maybe it won't, but it's her problem now.
[/quote]
we realize that it is not okay, and that we can't make it okay, trust me, we've discussed it in detail more than once. we know that it cannot be fixed and that it will not go away, i really don't need you to tell me about the severity of it or that "life has consequences." i've heard a thousand times already. you reiterating it doesn't make it sink in anymore.</p>
<p>
[quote]
you reiterating it doesn't make it sink in anymore.
[/quote]
I think we've found something we can agree on.</p>
<p>You already got the lectures, now some useful info.</p>
<p>Because of the timing, there is probably no requirement to notify the university for upcoming year, 2006-7. The applications where questions would be answered have been submitted already. There is no one at the university scanning the police blotter to independently see when students get in trouble, so the university won't know unless you tell them. If they don't ask, duh, don't tell.</p>
<p>Assuming your "friend" returns to OSU next year, there may not be any questions for a returning student either. Once you are admitted, you are admitted for following years, and financial aid renewal is pretty automatic as well. On the other hand, there may be Honor Code requirements, renewal forms or other things that may trigger a duty to tell. Probably not, but we are talking about things in general and there may be specific exceptions.</p>
<p>Then, there are issues as to whether this is a felony, whether it is a conviction yet, whether some kind of deferred adjudication is available, etc. Questions you have to answer have to be reviewed carefully to see if they require an answer that reveals the negative info. Again, don't volunteer anything.</p>
<p>thank you dt123.</p>
<p>
[quote]
I think we've found something we can agree on.
[/quote]
if you notice my original post, nowhere do i ask for advice on how to get out of the legal trouble or how to avoid punishment. my question simply speaks to whether or not her scholarship will be revoked. i never said anything about her evading the legal trouble or anything like that, so i never said anything about anyone telling me it was okay. i don't want the parents to tell me its okay. i just want the answer to my question (whether it be good or bad)...</p>
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<blockquote> <p>It is really very fortunate that she did not get into an accident and hurt herself or someone else while behind the wheel and under the influence <<</p> </blockquote>
<br>
<p>Agree here. Think of the glass as half-full.</p>
<p>I doubt the college will hear of the DUI unless she tells them. But here's some food for thought--I believe that you can't get federal student aid if you have a drug conviction. So don't jump from the frying pan into the fire!</p>
<p>I don't get how you go from a DUI to a drug conviction. Are you suggesting that this person, because of one mistake, is headed down a bad path? I'd imagine that if my first experience with alcohol ended in a DUI, I would drink much less than I do now.</p>
<p>Obviously, the friend of the OP has "judgment issues"--this is not just "one mistake." Underage drinking--bad judgment. Running from the cops which resulted in a DUI rather than sticking around and just getting a underage drinking citation--bad judgment. We can only hope that the wrong choices stop there. </p>
<p>Many kids do experiment with drugs while at college. They might want to know ahead of the time one of the consequences of which they may not be aware.</p>
<p>I think you're exaggerating and being too quick to pass judgement, but whatever, you're not my mom, thankfully. Plenty of people drink while underage. Most of our parents drank before they were legally allowed to. I don't think the majority of the population has "judgement issues." I don't think most people who drank went on to get convicted for drug possession. The jump from drinking on one occassion to being convicted for drug possession is a nonsequitur.</p>
<p>Anyways, this has totally digressed. The scholarship should probably be the least of your friend's concerns, since my parents would be mighty ****ed if I got a DUI.</p>
<p>yeah her mom is pretty ****ed. and she is in a lot of trouble, but i mean we are all overachieving kids, so the prospect of not being able to go is scarier than any punishment that her mother can hand down.</p>
<p>Not if she's got a Jewish mother, haha.</p>
<p>The majority of the population doesn't have a DUI.</p>
<p>Frankly, I think the way society treats alcohol consumption is frightening. I'm not saying that we should go back to the era of Prohibition, but excessive alcohol consumption is not "costless." </p>
<p>Death and maiming from drunk driving...lost marriages...lost kids...abused and neglected kids and spouses...an underage former CC poster dead from alcohol poisoning at college (a Cornell student, so you should know about it, Spanks)...homelessness...severe health issues...</p>
<p>And I am not passing judgment and do not believe that a DUI leads directly to drug possession or life as an alcoholic--methinks you protest too much--have I touched a nerve? My original point was that drug possession CAN seriously affect $$ for college. And college kids should be aware of it.</p>
<p>I do not treat underage drinking (or any drinking) so cavalierly as some might, having personally seen the damage it has caused. </p>
<p>--from a mother of two (neither of whom has a DUI...yet)</p>
<p>Because these things always happens to other people. Police still do not know if drrinking was involved.</p>
<p>Families Mourn Four Young Lives Lost in L.I. Crash </p>
<p>It had been a special night for the five friends from Elmont on Long Island. One of them, Kevin McArthur, had just finished his last day of classes at Floral Park Memorial High School and was set to graduate in less than two weeks.</p>
<p>But on their way home from the pool hall where they went every Tuesday night, their car, a 1998 Toyota Avalon, slammed into a tree along a winding road in Floral Park shortly after midnight, killing four of them instantly and leaving the other badly injured, the Nassau County police said yesterday.</p>
<p>Killed in the accident were the driver, Max-Lesly Auguste, 20; Mr. McArthur, 18; Michael Richardson Horton, 20; and Nnyana Adingupu, 16. The only survivor, Aaron Richardson Hourie, 16, was listed in fair and stable condition at Winthrop University Hospital in Mineola yesterday.</p>
<p>The police said yesterday that it was unclear why the car left the road. A spokesman said investigators were looking into whether speed or alcohol might have contributed to the accident.</p>
<p>But family and friends insisted yesterday that the friends were all nondrinkers.</p>
<p>"They had their whole life ahead of them" said Gwen Flourant, one of Mr. Horton's aunts, who had gathered with other relatives at his house in Elmont. "These are children who don't drink. It was just a night out with your family." Three of the passengers Mr. Horton, Mr. Hourie and Ms. Adingupu were cousins.</p>
<p>Ms. Flourant said Ms. Adingupu had been like a baby sister to Mr. Horton. "Nnyana's mother would not let her out unless she was with someone she trusted, and Michael was usually it," she said. "They were good, ordinary kids. The loss is insurmountable."</p>
<p>All five friends had grown up together in Elmont. Their parents were immigrants from Jamaica and Anguilla.</p>
<p>Mr. Auguste was a graduate of Kellenberg Memorial High School in Uniondale and had just finished his first year at Princeton. Mr. McArthur was a senior and Mr. Hourie a sophomore at Floral Park Memorial. Ms. Adingupu had just finished her junior year at Sewanhaka High School in Floral Park. Both Mr. McArthur and Mr. Horton planned to attend Nassau Community College.</p>
<p>"methinks you protest too much--have I touched a nerve?"</p>
<p>Oh yeah, you got me, I'm blowing lines off my keyboard right now. I "protest too much" because you seem like a typical overbearing mother, from the vibe of your initial reaction to the actions of the OP's friend. </p>
<p>I do know about the kid who died. Apparently he had a serious drinking problem and was attemping to consume an inordinate amount of alcohol that night. I read his facebook profile and it suggests that he did, in fact, have a serious drinking problem. People in his fraternity tried to intervene and he consequentially depledged.</p>
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<blockquote> <p>Apparently he had a serious drinking problem and was attemping to consume an inordinate amount of alcohol that night. <<</p> </blockquote>
<br>
<p>Yes, he was very much in denial about his drinking problem and we CC parents tried to get him to "see the light"...but he gave many of the same reasons you have given us to show us that underage drinking was the societal norm and not a problem in general and for him in particular.</p>
<p>As for my being a "typical overbearing mother," I assure you that I am not and am hailed by all of my friends as being a paragon of light-handed child-rearing. Perhaps when you are a parent of a teenager someday, you will remember back to this little thread and say, "Now I know what those typical overbearing mothers were talking about."</p>
<p>I know that I thought my parents were unreasonable when I was young, but as I have raised my kids, I have seen the wisdom in some of the things they did and some of the issues that concerned them. I can't get angry at the epithets you have hurled at me, because I know that time and experience will change the way you think about many issues.</p>
<p>Can this discussion end please? we all know that underage drinking is illegal and that it is an unnecessary risk and that kids these days think excessive drinking is a societal norm, etc., etc.</p>
<p>this discusion is going to get nowhere and as we've already seen it has been reduced to personal attacks. so, can this thread please be closed...</p>