<p>I think it is plain old human nature to become less enarmored with your "safety", there's that awful word again, especially as time goes on.
More times than not, there are real differences in the less selective school and the other schools, trying to match for size, programs, ambiance, location,etc, can only go so far. In real life, the safeties may deviate a lot from the "favorite" school, in DD's list, her favorites each had distinct strengths not shared by the others. Like other things in life, the process is messy!</p>
<p>Wish<em>it</em>was - your process has some real wisdom. After we were finished visiting, DD said she would never have her kids visit any schools until they were accepted! Of course, I wouldn't have slept sending her off 1000 miles completely sight unseen, but from her point of view, it would be better to know what the real choices are. But, we, especially my husband, actually learned about the proces from those info sessions.</p>
<p>It isn't always possible to "love thy safety". I see a lot of kids who have an idea of what they want in a school, and there aren't any safeties that fit the bill. Many times they'll just throw a state school or any ol' school onto list just to shut up the jabbering GC who is hissing, "safety, safety, safety" or at least should be. </p>
<p>Realistically, today, you need not necessarily one safety but possibly a few. It is much less hurtful to choose among a few schools with some merit awards and various traits, than be ramrodded into State U that y ou hardly know. These days, though, you really should visit your safety if it is a private college. Many schools do not like being classified as safeties, and if you do not show the demonstrated interest, you may find yourself rejected or WLed by your safety. So when you pick your safeties, you should put some thought in it so that you can give a good reason why you would want to go there. Visiting is no help if you are rolling your eyes up and yawning throughout the visit. It is so easy to cherry pick the selective schools and so much fun to debate the upside of H over P and how New Haven isn't so bad. But it is more important that you know a little bit about your safeties. If you absolutely can't visit, make sure you show lots of interest in other ways and let the school know why you can't go there. </p>
<p>With the number of kids applying to college increasing in these next few years, and more kids applying to the same schools, applying to more schools, the picture is uncertain for adcoms who will using the wait list more and looking more into demonstrated interest, particularly those schools where yield is an issue. The old safeties are not safeties anymore in many cases. You don't have to love that safety, but you should know it well.</p>
<p>My son told me yesterday that only one of the top students in his school got into an Ivy. Everyone else has settled for the "safety" state school. He attends a large highly rated public school. Just goes to show how competitive this admissions process is.</p>
<p>I love my "safety." It is now my top choice. </p>
<p>When I applied to it, I chose it because it was a Fiske "Best Buy" and sounded really interesting. </p>
<p>They were the first to accept me (Jan.) and gave me their largest merit scholarship, as well as an invitation for their scholarship day. So, I went up and visited-- and fell in love. </p>
<p>They are not well-known to say..my neighbors. But I loved the atmosphere there and the students were really quirky. I also found their LJ community, and judging from how the students there treat prospective student's posts compared to my other "top" colleges, they had a more mature outlook. I think you can tell a lot from online communities as in how they treat newcomers and their style of writing. </p>
<p>Anyways. I just wanted to gloat. I got into my safety, I'm getting a large scholarship from them, and I can always SAY I got in to all the places I applied to, including a couple of "top" schools. </p>
<p>I think if students blocked out where other students are applying, and whispers from neighbors, family, and rankings-- and just find a place they would really enjoy going to, they'll probably stumble upon a "safety." That's how I found mine. A safety shouldn't be a backup you don't want to go to. My safety = a hidden gem.</p>
<p>I think its this safety language that gets students in trouble. As my daughter and our family went through the process, the best advice we got from her school counselors was to not apply to any school she wouldn't be happy to attend, but to be sure they span a range of appropriate selectivities. She applied to Harvard, Yale, Brown, Wellesley, Smith, Wesleyan, Tufts and Brandeis. She got in to all but HYB, with merit aid at both Brandeis and Smith. She will attend Wellesley, and honestly feels that its a better fit for her than even the schools she was rejected from. She would have been happy to attend any school on her list.</p>
<p>I'm starting to feel happier and happier that the schools my S has taken to heart will <em>hopefully</em> be safeties (he's a soph, so we'll see what junior year holds -- for now I'm basing things on current GPA and PSAT scores). </p>
<p>Actually, given all of his particularities it's been hard to find potential Matches (preferably the Shenandoah Valley/Blue Ridge belt, but absolutely below Mason-Dixon line; no MD, KY, FL or the western half of TN; east of the Mississippi; preferably rural or small town location; 1500-5000 students -- man, he's pickier than I am about buying a house). Everything seems to be a Safety or a Reach. </p>
<p>After reading all these messages, I'm also going to try to stop using "Safety" because I have also become unsatisfied with the connotation that it's a school you'll <em>settle</em> for, when in actuality it should be a good fit, and S should be excited to attend.</p>
<p>Editrix--Yours is an important question and Jamimom is exactly right--sometimes there just aren't any safeties that fit the bill, especially if the student wants an unusual major.</p>
<p>Our "safety strategy" worked great for our eldest S and our D but not at all for our younger S. But it's hard to know what we could have done differently for him, even now.</p>
<p>Our elder son applied to 3 Canadian unversities as his safeties--all his US schools were reaches. He was admitted to 3 of his reaches and his 3 safeties, so all was fine. If he had been denied at all his US schools he would still have been happy, as a French/history major, at McGill.</p>
<p>D was intent on a Chinese major, which eliminated pretty much every LAC except Middlebury. (LACs generally offer a broader East Asian Studies major.) Arabic was on her wish list as well. She was open to looking at Canadian universities, so McGill gave us one safety. (She turned thumbs down on Toronto--too huge, overwhelmingly commuter campus, horrified at the idea of wearing an academic gown to dinner in college every night.) Her HS mandated 3 safeties, so she needed 2 more. Wisconsin had admitted every student who applied from her school the previous year, so it went on the list. GC then recommended GWU, so she was set. If those 3 had been her only choices, she might not have been "in love," but she would have been reasonably happy. </p>
<p>So we were all smug when it came to our younger son, who wanted a small college that offered engineering. But he put his foot down: no way would he look at Canada. He did come up with 3 safeties, but each would have required a major compromise: Grinnell is small but offers only a 3/2 program for would-be engineers; RPI offers engineering, but it's large, overwhelmingly male, and weak in liberal arts; Vanderbilt is big as well. Bucknell would have fit the bill, but he had a visceral reaction to it when we visited and refused to apply there. So S did not "love" even one of his safeties; don't know what he would have done if those had been his only choices.</p>
<p>I do recommend looking at Canada for safeties for hookless students with stellar stats. Although the cost for US citizens is considerably higher, it is still very reasonable.</p>
<p>My safeties were Rochester, NYU, and U of I. I'm at U of I. In-state and I made the honors. I love it there. For U of I, I knew about my getting in the day after I sent in my application. If that isn't safe enough I don't know what is. I always had my back-up and I'm so glad I chose it. Each time I went I couldn't help but fall in love with it. The only reason I didn't want to is because they didn't have film. Now I couldn't care less. I can't ever express enough joy for my choice and wish others could feel the same way.</p>