<p>First: do any of you get really offended if a juvenile suddenly calls you by your first name?</p>
<p>Well, I've started e-mailing profs at the local university for research projects. One responded...</p>
<p>Alex, stop by to talk to us when you get over here. Its usually helpful
to have some knowledge of astronomy as well as computer skills but we
should be able to get you connected with some project. Paula</p>
<p>In my reply message, I said "Thanks Paula" and affixed some additional info. if she uses Paula at the end of the message is it ok if I call her by her first name?</p>
<p>I suggest that you not call her by her first name. If in doubt, use her first name and last name. At most colleges, professors are called "Professor" along with their last name.</p>
<p>If she really wants you to call her Paula, she will tell you that outright. She'll say something like, "Please call me Paula."</p>
<p>Incidentally, I am a really nice person who loves working with young people. However, unless I'm in Calif. or on an Indian reservation (both are places where it seems virtually routine for teens and children to call adults by first names), I don't like it when children and teens assume they should call me by my first name. I do let close family friends do so, however.</p>
<p>if she signed her message with her first name, it's fine for you to address her that way. I usually go by my first name with everyone. As an aside, in Quaker schools, teachers and administrators are addressed by their first names because Quakers don't believe in titles and everyone deserves the same level of respect, regardless of age. In our area, this is common (perhaps because of our Quaker roots). I don't feel any more or less respected by anyone becasue <em>I've</em> attached any particular title to myself. I expect that you'll respect me for other reasons and show it to me in ways that are of your own choosing. </p>
<p>but like what northstarmom said, unless the adult says "i would like to be caled by my first name" in person, i would use the professor + last name. west coast seems to be popular for adults asking kids to call them by their first names. i know i call all my friends' parents by their first name.</p>
<p>When I was a student I always addressed my profs. by the appropriate title, like Dr.Brown. Even in grad school. Only one prof. invited me to call her by her first name, and I only did so at her house.
As an adult, I address my childrens' teachers as Mrs.Smith etc., even though some of them are 15 years younger than I am.</p>
<p>Why not address her as Dr.whatever, and see if there is an invitation to call her differently. That would be the better "error" to make.</p>
<p>There really is a "rule," and I think most people are more comfortable when it's clear. Anyone of higher rank--age, social, work-related, whatever--gets to issue the invitation. That's simple, really. You seem to have received an invitation, but if you're unsure, err on the side of being overly respectful, and you can't be offensive, therefore, uncomfortable.</p>
<p>I teach, and I don't care one way or the other, but that's only because I now teach via e-mail in a very informal way. In the college classroom, I never used my first name wih students.</p>
<p>um... well... my friends call their parents by their first names, and personally i find it disrespectful (maybe cuz i'm asian?) so it's my own personal belief to address all adults by their last names</p>
<p>From the time my son could speak, he called me by my first name (Bob). Why? Who knows? I don't even notice it, and it sounds like "Dad" to me when I hear it. But other people have found that very strange and have said so to me.</p>
<p>I always call people by their title in e-mails just as a courtesy unless I know them real well then I will use their first name, it all depends on the individual and how laid back they usually are. Some profs go ballistic if you call them 'Ms. X' as opposed to 'Dr. X' if they have PhD. Kinda like Dr. Evil in Austin Powers, "I didn't spend 6 years in evil medical school to be called Mr. thank you very much." Some people refuse to be called Mr or Mrs because it makes them feel old. In the military it is funny, because us people in the national guard usually call everyone by their first name, because we have been in the same unit forever, but when we go on active duty it shocks us to hear people call contemporaries 'Sgt. X' or what not. Personally I always have younger people (buddies kids and whatnot) call me Joe, just because I am too laid back for titles, but if someone calls me sir or 'Mr. V*****' I don't correct them or anything. It does make you feel old when someone calls you Mr.</p>
<p>Some adults, especially in college, are very specific about how they like to be addressed, while others don't seem to care. Some really care about their Ph.D., Ed.D., etc. and expect this to be respected. Some prefer a surname in a classroom or formal social setting, but firstname in a lab, discussion or informal social setting.</p>
<p>When in doubt, just ask a person how he/she would like to be addressed or respect one's surname and title.</p>
<p>Look, if she calls herself Paula in her e-mail, she is indicating that that is how she prefers to be addressed. I disagree with Northstarmom that ettiqute requires her to issue a formal inviation allowing you to call her by her first name. Invitations come in more than one form, and her causal tone in the e-mail certainly qualifies.</p>
<p>Sometimes, especially in e-mail, I will continue to address an adult by his/her surname and title, even when they sign a message with just a firstname. It is a respect thing depending on who they are, i.e. dean, provost, chancellor, clergyman, physician, etc.</p>
<p>Sometimes I will refer to professors by a firstname, when speaking in the third person, but when addressing them directly, will respect their title. An organization I am involved with will have Dr. Pedro Noguera as our key practitioner at a Stanford professional development institute for educators. While I talk to people about 'Pedro' coming to our institute, I always address him directly as Dr. Noguera. He responds to either and is extremely easy going, easy to talk to, etc., but calling him 'Dr. Noguera' is just a respect thing for me.</p>
<p>signing off an email as "Paula" is NOT an invitation to call her by her first name. Continue to address her formally until you have been given specific permission to do otherwise or at least until you have been able to personally observe that this professor's students call her by her first name.</p>
<p>Even though students call their professor by a first name, I, as a non-student, would choose to call the professor by a surname and title.</p>
<p>It really just comes down to what people feel comfortable with at any given time. Some people call me Mr., others call me by my first name, and both are ok with me. </p>
<p>If someone makes the first move and calls me by my firstname, I might respond back with a firstname, but not if the person has a significant title or position (dean, provost, chancellor, clergy, physician, Ph.D., Ed.d., etc.).</p>
<p>The form of address I use varies by situation, even adult-to-adult. </p>
<p>For example, I'm friends with my dentist and use his first name in a social situations. However, when I'm the patient, I always address him by Dr. ____. This is especially true when others are in the office. I view it as important to accord him the respect due the situation.</p>
<p>Similarly with colleagues at school: in social situations, first name; but if there are students within earshot, it's always with the title.</p>
<p>I don't think any professor actually signs their emails with "Professor ....". They usually sign with their full name. This is not an invitation for you to call them by their first names lol</p>
<p>The only professor I call by first name is the professor I do research with. I certainly did not call her by her first name when I first met her and only did it after I noticed the other students in the lab doing it.</p>
<p>We first encountered this when my kids were small, and certain friends of mine would say to the kids, "dont call me Mrs. it makes me feel old.....call me ....." I wasn't thrilled about it as we've raised our kids not to call adults by their first names...If kids come in to our house and call me by my first name I correct them. They aren't my equal, yet. Call me old fashioned. What I have trouble getting used to is when someone's working here on the house (painter, whatever) and they're probably at least my age or older....they call me, "Mrs." and I always ask them to use my first name.....they continue to call me "Mrs." ...maybe its southern.</p>
<p>I think it is safest to start with Professor and work your way down to more informal tones.</p>
<p>Usually people will tell you how they want you to address them, or other kids will catch on. For example, at my public high school, all the staff has a Mr. or Mrs. in front of their names, but my GC asks me to call her by her first name, because she's used to small private schools that utilize the first name thing. When I took courses at BU, the older of the two professors I had was into the Professor Feinstein thing, but the younger just asked for the first name. I emailed professors in the psych department of the college I will be attending, and always addressed them by Professor, although they too signed in first names only.</p>
<p>If you want to express your enthusiaism or get that informal connection, I would suggest your express it in your email or tone, with exclamations!!! or smileys :-) if you are daring. I use bits of generic internet slang that everyone can read like kinda hafta thanx with staff at my high school... The ending to the letter is another good spot to slip in the informalness...</p>