Making small talk

<p>Whenever I am around people, I feel like I am very quiet and have nothing to contribute. I want to talk to people but feel like I don't have anything to say or I am at a loss of words. What can I do to improve this, as it is affecting my ability to meet new people.</p>

<p><a href="http://xkcd.com/c222.html%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://xkcd.com/c222.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>It's called psilocybin :)</p>

<p>Yeah that comic pretty much rocks.</p>

<p>-Compliment their outfit/say you like something they're wearing</p>

<p>-friendly smile! (unless your smile is ugly...then don't)</p>

<p>-talk about why you're there (etc. new class-i'm so afraid about the homework load...i heard this teachers an ass)</p>

<p>-ask a question about something random (do you by anychance know tim jones?)</p>

<p>-talk about someone else (that girl's outfit is hideous- but don't be mean)</p>

<p>-ask them for advice (should i buy store brand cheddar or the expensive kind? should i break up with my gf?)</p>

<p>I remember I was sitting in one of those chairs with the circular table on the side, typing. In fact, I think I was posting on CC. This guy leaned over and said "you type really fast." Why yes, I smiled at him and said thanks. And yes, I gave him my phone number. And yes, I took him out to dinner.</p>

<p>WHAAAAT? It was only dinner!</p>

<p>Read the campus paper and listen to the news so you can comment on things that are going on. This includes keeping track of things like sports, which lots of people like to talk about. Many people also like to talk about politics, entertainment, TV, local scandals and wierd events. </p>

<p>Get involved in some kind of EC and bring it up in the conversation. Perhaps the person has common interests and would be interested in getting involved in that organization, too. </p>

<p>If you don't do much of anything or keep up with things going on, you won't have much to say.</p>

<p>On a college campus, you always can talk about class: "I'm so stressed out. I've got 3 exams this week. My history class especially is a killer. This is the hardest semester that I've had here. How's your semester going?" Giving some info about yourself and then asking an open ended question helps keep the conversation going.</p>

<p>On a college campus, there also are a variety of things one can say in general that keep conversations going and help establish commonalities.</p>

<p>"I just picked my major, XXX. I decided to major in XX because XXX. What's your major and how did you pick it?"</p>

<p>"The wierdest thing happened in my dorm last night. I live in XXX dorm, and XXXX happened. Where do you live and what's it like there?"</p>

<p>"Do you live on or off campus? ...I decided to (live on campus/live off campus) next year because....How happy are you with your living arrangements?"</p>

<p>"Have you made summer plans yet? I'm planning to (xxxxx) because XXXX. What are you considering doing?"</p>

<p>Same can be asked about spring break.</p>

<p>Other good general conversation gambits are asking for advice on majors, courses, clubs, the career center, weekend activities, etc.</p>

<p>if you are a freshman or transfer or something always start by asking where the person is from. great convo starter and after that a lot of topics can come up so you wont be too bad off. just dont try and push converstaion, that jsut makes you look weird and awkward</p>

<p>
[quote]
On a college campus, you always can talk about class: "I'm so stressed out. I've got 3 exams this week. My history class especially is a killer. This is the hardest semester that I've had here. How's your semester going?"

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Sorry, not a good idea, that comes off sounding like a griper. Only complain to those you already know well, not those who you want to impress.</p>

<p>I agree with Vail.</p>

<p>If you're not good at small talk, don't force it. Ask questions (this would give you control over the conversation). Say whatever comes to mind and worry about the consequences later (spontaneity is good). I'm not good at small talk either, but my friends who are accept me for it, and they're even entertained by my formality (for which I am unapologetic). I say things like "my immune system is strong enough to resist" not to deliberately sound formal but to allow my thoughts to spontaneously flow into my tongue and out of my mouth (my brain just thinks in very formal terms). One of my friends is able to sustain a conversation about the most trivial thing.. I kinda envy her for that sometimes. You should hear us talk though...my friends find our approaches to conversation so wildly different that to hear them integrated in a given conversation is amusing to them.</p>

<p>Btw, here's an article in The Economist called "The art of conversation" (retyped by some blogger, since the official article on The Economist website requires a subscription).</p>

<p>Oops, forgot to post the link:</p>

<p><a href="http://accidentalblogger.typepad.com/accidental_blogger/files/the_art_of_conversation_chattering_classes_economist_com.htm%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://accidentalblogger.typepad.com/accidental_blogger/files/the_art_of_conversation_chattering_classes_economist_com.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>Scroll to the bottom.</p>

<p>My first year, I was living in Rez and I was just in the common room shooting some pool when some guy came up to me and the first words out of his mouth were:</p>

<p>"So where were you on 9/11?"</p>

<p>Basically, do the opposite of that.</p>

<p>what a f-ing dope! hahahaha who in the world would ask such a question without knowing the person.</p>