<p>I was wondering if it would be okay to do this. It's a casual reference and only takes up one line. The exact sentence is along the lines of "God created us to be different so that we can learn from each other." Any thoughts? I live in a pretty liberal area, and the scholarship is from my school.</p>
<p>I’m more bothered by the cliche-ness of the sentence itself (and the superfluous “that”) than the reference to religion.
Still, there’s not really any reason for it. I’d avoid religious references unless you’re telling a personal story - if you’re just inserting God into a meaningless platitude it looks preachy.</p>
<p>haha, is it horribly cliche? I’m not sure if that would be a problem though, since I do think it fits in well with the rest of the essay.
I’m not really trying to be preachy. The prompt is talking about what we’re passionate about, so I’ve removed some of my emotional censuring. But I guess some people could interpret it as preachy</p>
<p>I would also recommend against it…unless the scholarship is from an overtly religious organization or part of a specific question, you risk turning off the reader of your application.</p>
<p>I think it could be distracting to a reader who does not share your religious viewpoint. I would try to find a different way to say it.</p>
<p>“haha, is it horribly cliche?”</p>
<p>Horribly.</p>
<p>:D</p>
<p>I don’t think you should ever make blanket statements like “God created us because this” because it sounds like something someone fed to you in Sunday school, as if you haven’t thought critically about any of it. It’s NOT the talking about God or religion that makes it preachy, it’s the shallow parroting of something you could find in a Hallmark card. You could say that same sentence with “We were born to” and it would still be preachy.
I think it’s acceptable (though risky, so use good judgment) to talk about how faith or being involved in the church (or whatever) is one of your passions. However, if you did that, I would recommend focusing more on what you do through the church (helping others and such) rather than doctrine.</p>
<p>Creation V. Evolution. Save it for science class. GL</p>
<p>^… who mentioned evolution…??</p>
<p>^^well, I think that statements such as “we were born to…” aren’t meant to be absolutes necessarily, but they’re meant to reflect at least one aspect of life. if someone says “we were born to x,” they’re not necessarily saying that were were born for nothing else but x. it doesn’t show a lack of critical thinking simply because it may be a widely held or traditional view.</p>
<p>but yeah, I guess I’ll keep that sentence out of my essay. thanks for the responses everyone :)</p>
<p>It’s really cliche. And if you’re from an area where it’s not majority Christian, you can run into problems. </p>
<p>I mean, as I read a sentence like that, it both makes me uncomfortable and it sounds like something any person might say. It says absolutely nothing about who you are or what you think. It sounds like you’re parroting something someone told you.</p>
<p>What exactly are you writing the essay about?</p>
<p>I’d leave it out. Even if I did believe in God, I still think I would be kind of bothered by it. It just sounds so cliche and doesn’t even seem to make sense.</p>
<p>I am very religious, and I would leave that statement out. And I am all for flaunting my beliefs! It is too cliche. If your essay were on your belief in God, then, yeah, probably ok…or how your faith carried you through something, or anything…but it sounds more like “name dropping” and cliche. </p>
<p>I hope that helps!</p>
<p>Religious, and I vote for leaving it out.</p>
<p>Very cliche, and there’s not any “backbone” to the statement.
Saying “God created us to…” is overdone and irrelevant to your essay unless it’s church-related, in which case you’re better of staying: “My faith in god has…”</p>
<p>Not religious, and it would annoy me if I was reading the essay. If it annoys me, it could annoy whoever will be reading it so I suggest leaving it out. It would be a lot better even if you just had something like ‘I believe’ at the beginning.</p>
<p>It leaves a lot open to interpretation, especially your belief in evolution. You Can believe in God and evolution, but some consider it an all or nothing thing.</p>
<p>@OP- (about sosomenza’s comment) “God created us” goes against evolution</p>
<p>Also, as a non religious person, it would be a turn off.</p>
<p>
No it doesn’t. The comment the OP was considering writing is a statement about a unifying metaphysical purpose, not about history.</p>
<p>I’m still wondering what exactly the essay is supposed to be about, because I’m sure there is a better, more personal way of expressing that idea.</p>
<p>(In any case, evolution says how life evolved after it got here, not about how it got here.)</p>
<p>Remember that time when arguing about religion on a forum was productive?</p>