<p>I’ll give you that one SharingGift! Still, I ran the calculators with higher incomes, and while the aid was there, it was there for just a handful of families, whereas at my income level there are many more students receiving aid. So the info. is there, but I agree that it takes some digging around and comparing to figure out what your real chances are. And I have to say that in your place, I would mostly likely have seen those numbers and tried too. </p>
<p>I think this thread will ultimately be useful to a lot of parents and give them that heads up you wish you had had. </p>
<p>On a related note–One thing I paid a lot of attention to when my kid was applying to school was not just how much aid schools gave to families at our income level, but also the way they gave aid. For example, we looked just at schools that offered only grant-based aid, rather than grants and low-interest loans. And we tried to read the writing on the wall; if schools were offering aid to fewer than 30 percent of the population, we guessed that it probably was going to more specialized or underprivileged populations than us–so those schools got crossed off the list–unless we could tell that our kid would be a highly desirable applicant at a particular school because of both academics and e.c.'s.</p>
<p>I too ran the Exeter and SPS calculators to find FA about half the tuition.</p>
<p>Our EFC came out $48K. We too live responsibly, no debt, large retirement savings, driving economic cars older than kids, small mortgage on a house cheaper than 4-yrs of BS tuition. </p>
<p>Last year two schools offered acceptances without aid, the rest outright rejection. If DC would try applying again I would go for FP but DC is happy in LPS and wants to postpone his education till college. </p>
<p>We will try applying FP with #2 next year.
Perhaps I should start Pest to Food program - trapping rabbits and hunt owls and coyotes.</p>
<p>payn4ward: I applaud your creative solution, but I’ve never haerd of a pest owl. Crows or pigeons might be a more eco-responsible choice ;)</p>
<p>I am curious – did you apply to any schools that are known for generous FA, or just to the acronym schools? Just thinking that schools which are a tad less selective might then offer more FA if your child has top stats and they want him in the class…</p>
<p>Wow–the SPS FA calculator is way more generous than Exeter’s, and certainly more generous than SSS. But, then, there’s getting in to SPS…my kid was waitlisted and I’m pretty dang sure it was because of FA (pm me for more specifics) You definitely can’t look at their calculators and expect that every school will give your that aid. </p>
<p>I’m curious: has anyone had a student accepted at a school with a financial aid calculator that indicates families at your income level receive aid, and then been told that there was no money? Or are the acceptances coming from schools that don’t promise that kind of aid and the rejections/wait-lists from the schools that do?</p>
<p>Just an aside - if finances are a pressure for secondary school, consider what down the road will be like, and whether you want to face 8 or more continuous years of same. </p>
<p>Colleges offer considerably less FA than most prep schools; merit/athletic aid is absent in the Ivys, and add costs of car, insurance, travel, and interviewing.</p>
<p>Grad or professional school on the horizon as well?</p>
<p>classicalmama - yep! our EFC was close to full tuition. One school said because we live in an area with one of the highest costs of living in the country, the school would offer us $20,000 in FA BUT the school had “6X more applicants” qualified for aid that were possible admits than they had aid to give out so, exactly like Choatiemom, we were given the choice of a) move to the full pay pile or b) go on to the wait list and see if more aid became available (i.e. the much needed star hockey player went somewhere else). We knew we would not get off that wait list so we bit the bullet and went FP.The school was considerate and asked us this before decision day so we would not be put in the awful position of having Chimneykid accepted and then having to tell her we couldn’t afford it. (Which is exactly what we had told her all along - you can not go without FA but in the end, we decided to make it work. We were close enough that it was not impossible just very very challenging. We are both self-employed creatives who have to live in an expensive area in order to do the rather low-paying (in this neck of the woods) work we do. </p>
<p>It is really important for “newbies” to understand how FA applicants are accepted at most schools (this is NOt true at need blind schools I don’t think). The school first makes one big pile of all the kids it would like to admit. Next, the “admitted” FP kids get acceptance letters while the “admitted” FA kids are separated out and sent to the Financial Aid Committee who determine, who in that pile gets how much and who gets cut. There are ALWAYS way more FA kids than dollars. This is why applying for aid decreases your chances of getting accepted. Also FA applicants are very often awarded $$ - or not awarded $$- based on what hole they fill that particular year at that particular school. So, for example, if the star tuba player just graduated, they are going to pull the tuba player’s application up to the top of the pile, and they may offer him aid and not offer the football player who is equally qualified and equally needy anything or they may even reject him because they already have a strong quarterback, or they just accepted 6 freshman FP football players. The point of all this is it is impossible for you to predict in advance what any school will offer and offers will vary widely from school to school. I am not sorry we applied for FA - hey at least I know when we have 2 kids tuitions to pay we will qualify no problem- but FP applicants do have a significantly easier time getting admitted especially if your child does not offer the school any extra diversity or any truly exceptional - like Olympic level- talent/e.c.</p>
<p>It seems to me that those families around the 200 thousand gross income range are the ones most stuck here. For those of us making less, it’s get FA or don’t go, which is in many ways an easier choice. Sure, our budgets may be stretched to the max, but we’re not in a position to make the choice to pay way more than (in a sensible, objective world where we don’t have a sad child pulling at our hearts) we should, and most ethical schools see that and either waitlist or deny our kids admission. </p>
<p>Until college that is…when this whole thing rears its head up again, which is why I think 2prepmom’s advice to take the long view is so important. And it is good to remember, too, that as bright and shining a star boarding school can seem, there are always other good options for kids desperate to get out of lousy school situations, though it may take some digging and creative thinking to find them. We’ve gone down an entirely different path for kid number two, and so far, so good. </p>
<p>Anyway, I suspect this thread will be of real service to a lot of families. So Peace Out, Sharing Gift. :)</p>
<p>Agree with classicalmom that there are other options for someone desperate to get out of a lousy school district. Although I do not have direct experience with it, Stanford University Online High School is another possible avenue to explore. I have heard only good things and the college matriculation list which includes almost every Ivy/top LAC is impressive.</p>
<p>The program is for “academically talented” students so that might be limiting, but their website indicates the tuition is $16,600 and the students complete the core high school curriculum in 3 years. Classes are conducted via video conferencing and they offer a summer session on campus for those who want to accelerate. 20% of students receive some form of financial aid.</p>
<p>I may consider it for one of my children to supplement their local high school program.</p>
<p>We were in the same boat with the EFC - it was an extreme shock after the optimism of some of the school calculators. That said, kid was offered FA (at a variety of levels) from several schools. She was accepted with no FA at 3 schools and when we turned down one explaining that we did get FA from others there was an offer to review. This all to say that the EFC is not the final word.</p>
<p>Even with some FA, it is still a HUGE financial burden. No vacations, no new clothes, no home improvements/repairs, a scary feeling in the pit of your stomach when your 8 year old car’s engine light comes on, letting those roots go gray longer, all this freedom and no money for fun adult weekends away, retirement is now a much longer way off. </p>
<p>It does wear on you so be sure it’s worth it to your family.</p>
<p>I know someone has already said this in this thread, but just always remember that when some people are ‘struggling’ with the loss of vacations and new clothes so kids can go to BS, a LOT of families don’t have those things whether their kids go to BS or not. </p>
<p>Sorry to be the wet blanket. But for many, many families, not enough FA doesn’t mean a lifestyle change. It means your kid doesn’t go.</p>
<p>Don’t forget to calculate all the unexpected and travel expenses. Unexpected expenses covers a deep dark wide range of everything under the sun. Travel will be more than you expect. Yes, it will. Really.</p>
<p>Add about $1,500+ to that amount–to cover all the unexpected expenses you thought you had already calculated–but didn’t really. These will be the “other” unexpected expenses that will come up–the ones you didn’t consider, because they’re unexpected. </p>
<p>And start saving for that shiny class ring today (if child will want one before graduation). It may well take three or four years to finance!</p>
<p>And don’t forget those extra school trips (especially the ones that don’t seem like they should cost much, if anything)…Total Shock! Example: DS went on a no-frills community service trip to Mexico to pour concrete for a poverty-stricken school in a tiny town (a worthy cause, and great experience). They took a bus down and stayed in a bunker-like dorm. The cost: $650. </p>
<p>Still not having learned: a weekend kayak trip that I naively thought would be included as part of the tuition because school has an Outdoor Program (like, how much can kayaks and camping cost, right?): $250. So…ask first! </p>
<p>However, this was a nice surprise: Biology class trip out on a boat in the ocean to sequence DNA of ocean fish = no extra charge! Yay!</p>
<p>It is hard because once there you want them to be able to take advantage of all the extra opportunities. But being strapped, sometimes you just can’t. </p>
<p>I worked one extra day a week (every Saturday) for the last 15 years or so to “help” pay the bill for two kids. Worth it? I hate to be a killjoy, but I’m not as sure as I was at the beginning of the journey. Is it really worth it to forfeit necessities like a new car, and okay, maybe a luxury like a vacation(s)? As a middle class family whose killing ourselves to afford this opportunity, it is hard to see lower income families get a total free ride. I hate to be a wet blanket, but hindsight is always 20/20. Maybe it would have been better for the kids to excel at the local public school while we took it a bit easier, and not worked so hard. Or we could have possibly taken our chances and hoped for FA that would meet our need. It didn’t fit my personality to just hope for FA, we wanted this opportunity for our kids so back when decided we would do anything necessary to make it happen and not leave anything to chance. WAs it worth it? Not really sure.</p>
<p>^^^^
I have heard more than a few parents express some “buyers remorse” at the end of this long journey. But not only for BS, for private school in general. My observation is that it usually comes from the parents of children who “breezed” through middle school and high school - meaning good students with no major discipline/social issues. I can see how these parents could conclude that these children would have done well anywhere. And when you add up all the tuition over the years, it is a staggering number.</p>
<p>I have had all my children in private school since pre-k. And yes we have sacrificed in many ways to make that possible. My thought is that perhaps had I taken a different route, all the problems that we didn’t encounter might have arisen. I just don’t know. I am 100% certain that BS was the right decision for my eldest and it has been a most wonderful experience in every way. Yes, the numbers are staggering as we qualify for no aid whatsoever. I am not so sure though that my others will follow to BS. Not sure they are ready for the independence and they are doing well where they are. But who knows? Children change.</p>
<p>This thread has been quiet for a while, but it was very interesting. Like many of you, we applied for FA but didn’t get any. We are FP and making it work, but it’s not easy. I feel bad saying no to the spring break preseason lacrosse camp in FL, but we just can’t do it! And frankly, I somewhat resent that my child is being put in this situation. How are the FA kids paying for it? Maybe they’re not. </p>
<p>For people applying now and waiting for March 10th: There are more “little” expenses than I realized. The $75 field trip that just showed up on our monthly bill? How about the bus fees to the airport? Somehow I missed that we would be charged for these things. Last month, son ate $85 worth of late night crap in the student center. How about the $125 calculator from the student store, because the one we bought wasn’t exactly the right one!?! The list goes on and on. Sometimes I feel frustrated that I’m not asked or informed, I just get the bill after the fact. </p>
<p>For parents of multiple BS kids: when it’s time for our second child to apply, will we get financial aid because we’re FP for child #1? I know, it depends on our GI. Because we can’t possibly do FP for 2 kids. There would be no money left! Maybe I should talk to the FA office. It’s 2 years away, but I’m already thinking we should set some expectations. Thoughts?</p>
<p>Leafy, have you spoken to the athletic director or lacrosse coach about the spring break trip? I know of a school where a wealthy parent supported the lax team in a big way… Paid for new helmets for all, and sponsored kids who couldn’t afford the preseason camp. Board members who were athlete alums often do this. Check it out before you assume he can’t go.</p>
<p>Of course I cannot say exactly how it will shake down for your family, but the FA process does take note of tuition for more than one child. I imagine you might end up with some aid for each child, if you qualify. Not too early to talk to the FA folks.</p>
<p>I perceive that the typical value of private school for a Top 20 college caliber kid who already lives in the suburbs is for example, a 20-30% better education. </p>
<p>This assumes you do have a choice for an adequate suburban public HS. And it assumes you could afford say $5K+ per year and your own time as a parent to supplement: plenty of time for homework, plus tutors, summer programs, online learning, test prep, clubs like Destination Imagination, FIRST Robotics, Science Fair, Math Team, or music or drama and camps. Plus maybe some foreign travel as a family on vacations. As others have noted, a kid who excels this way and stands out in public high school will probably have a better college acceptance rate than the middle of the pack in BS. And this kid may well become a better leader and more motivated from earning how to deal with real people. And after college they will leave on pretty much the same page as the private kids who went to the same college.</p>
<p>Yes BS is amazing, but… a teen can only absorb so much knowledge and stimuli and exercise in a day. And that ceiling is true for both public and private teens. So there is a declining value to spending more.</p>
<p>So if it is worth $50K per year for you and your family to have your child learn e.g. 20-30% more, then yes do it. But personally, I would go the public school route and make it wonderful, rather than face severe financial stress in the family, as the benefits are fairly modest compared to years of misery.</p>