My D’s morning Public High School and afternoon Performing Arts Magnet School have been very accommodating! She’s going to miss a full week of school for out of state auditions when we chain 2 together that are in the same region of the country. While both auditions are on Saturdays its more cost effective to do it in one trip. They’re considering them College Visits, she’ll have to make up assignments but hasn’t been given any trouble. Both schools thankfully understand the big picture. Fortunately these are the only days she’ll need to miss, thankfully the other auditions she’s done so far and has upcoming are local enough for Saturday day trips.
But @dbandmom I agree with what everyone else says, do what you need to do for your D’s next stage in life and argue strongly for that position if they give you a hard time. I’d complain to the principal / superintendent if they give you a hard time. What’s more important, not missing a lab, or getting into her dream school?!!!
Good for you, and what a great point about athletic recruits. May not be a male-female issue but certainly worth asking whether recruited athletes are held do the same limits or if there’s a process set aside for them to get extra time, which means there is a way.
I experienced similar issues at my D’s high schools with “lettering” and end-of-year recognition for the scholar/athletes (and none for the scholar/artists). However the audition process worked fine.
I just want to add this bc as president of the newly founded theatre booster club back in the day, I had the chance to “educate” several administrators at the school about what a scholar artist actually does (nothing like a group of persistent parents to make an administrator sit and listen). While there was some resistance, I can honestly say there was a greater deal of ignorance. I actually found some administrator who got it pretty quickly and were receptive. It was then figuring out how to change. I’m happy to say that over the years the situation at the high school has continued to improve for the scholar/artist with more recognition and support (backed by an active booster group).
So speak up politely and professionally. You never know where it may lead. I’m sure in some cases it will NOT be so easy…and trust me it wasn’t necessary easy but it did get the conversation started.
Ds school had a very very successful football program with multiple current professional football players who missed upwards of 3 to 4 weeks of school on recruiting trips. As such they had protocols and provisions established that allowed those athletes to miss and make up that work. The conversation was professional and polite conversation. But when I approached the administration and asked for the same thing for my d they said she did not qualify. After a couple of days of back and forth and counselor to vice principal to principal conversations and attempts a reasoning, I let them know that I would have my attorney contact the district. She missed 2 and 1/2 weeks. But we also planned all of her auditions except 2 (a regional for Oberlin and a weekend trip to Ohio) in a whirlwind trip to the northeast. It saved on flights and time. Big risk if she had been sick, but fortunately she made it through all and became sick at her weekend trip to Ohio.
As a side note, the football program has taken a recent dive after it was discovered that the football coach was involved with SAT fraud and grade manipulation. Funny… you never hear about that with artists.
One other thing: to audition in the right frame of mind, I know our daughter needed to get to the city or town where the audition would occur, the day before, and preferably early the day before. She could not have flown in and flown out. The NYC auditions were grouped, thank heavens, so that ended up being 4 days for 3 auditions. But when she went to the Midwest, it was 4 days for one audition (we drove).
I think it is more important to allow the time for a good audition than worry about the absence issue, unless she is applying to colleges for a BA as well.
Our school is small and not high pressure. There were no problems at all with auditions for the musician in our family. For another child in the family, who was in a performing art throughout high school, the school was so flexible that she missed 1/3 of the year, but then she withdrew for senior year and did her diploma online. The school didn’t pressure us to do that but she was uncomfortable being a special case. Just for perspective on the range out there.
Guidance counselors do not understand the application process for musicians. I wonder if a music teacher could help in educating them. They really should be accommodating and also give your daughter lots of time to make things up. Her auditions should not suffer from this needless stress!!
I remember this dilemma. DD got a warning that she had exceeded the “allotted” days of absence because of auditions (and music competitions, to be honest) and we had to do a direct appeal with the help of her GC. Music kids really are in a different spot.
If dealing with a public school, there are channels to investigate if you run into this, as we did. My understanding is that in private schools this is a non-issue.
Lots of great experience and advice on here! Thanks all!
As of right now, the Dean has basically said that they would be “unexcused” but there would be no disciplinary action taken. He suggested I contact each of her teachers individually to see what their policies would be for making up assignments and tests, etc.
D missed 2 days of school last week for an audition and this is now the 3rd night in a row she will be up until past midnight doing homework. She gets up at 5 am every morning. She should be caught up on her work after tonight. She’s been sick for 3 weeks and we leave for Miami in 6 days. She desperately needs sleep.
So, any opinions on what is a reasonable amount of time to make up schoolwork missed due to absences? I think I need to be direct in the emails to the teachers and just ask for what we feel she will need.
This is the last multi-day absence for auditions. The last 2 auditions will be day trips.
@dbandmom,
WOW all of our amazing performance offspring are 2nd semester seniors now in the heat of audition season!!! So, in our house health & audition performance rank high above homework. I told my D she needed to keep her 95 average until the end of January as schools get mid year transcript updates and she needs aid. (grades matter even at conservatories!) so now that we have jumped that hurdle I’m not concerned with overdue homeworks or being a few minutes late to class. performance students are juggling so much and most do it in their stride as its the way they have always had to & will continue to.
I would ask for at least as many days as she is absent plus a few to
make up the work. How can she perform well if she’s exhausted and ill?
i hope she is feeling better quickly!
I would write something like this to each teacher: My D has been up past midnight each night doing make-up homework and waking at 5:00 am each day. Now she is sick. I am setting a cut off time for make-up homework until she gets better. She will continue to work diligently to get make-up homework done as her health allows. We will both communicate delays with you. I hope you can be flexible and understanding. Contact me with any concerns or questions.
Then make her go to bed at a reasonable hour. Her health should be the primary concern not the homework. Let her know that. My D often needed a firm hand from a parent to let go.
I hope she gets better soon!!
Edit: I know you know this but 5 hours of sleep is not healthy. As a parent, I would definitely advocate for my kid at the school that the load is unreasonable.
I sent what I think was a nice email that got the point across about how important this is and how hard she is trying to stay on top of everything to each of her teachers. Thankfully, they all responded with very nice things to say about my D and have said they will give her extra time to make up the work she misses next week. I think the fact that she has been a very good student all along is paying off right now. I also sometimes think teachers aren’t thinking about the fact that these kids have more than just their 1 class with tests and papers due and (especially a senior) that they go to a job after school.
Now, let’s hope she gets some sleep this weekend and starts feeling better, so that she can actually go on this trip! I told her I was not putting her on a plane in the condition she was in last week. Our doctor is not big on giving antibiotics for sinus infections (thinks they’re not necessary) and we have gotten through without them before. But we may make the trip to urgent care (where they hand out prescriptions like candy) because we are desperate for something to help!