Music Parents - Let's commisserate!

<p>DEAR READERS,
I INADVERTANTLY DELETED THIS NEW THREAD WHEN TRYING TO MOVE THE POSTS FROM TODAY FROM THIS THREAD ON THE PARENT FORUM TO THE NEW THREAD ON OUR NEW MUSIC MAJORS FORUM. I CAN'T SEEM TO GET BACK THE HANDFUL OF WONDERFUL POSTS BY OUR READERS AND I SINCERELY APOLOGIZE. THERE WERE POSTS BY: MomofWildChild, Shennie, thumper, Soozievt, Mini, and possibly others. I'm sorry. I still have the ORIGINAL POST BY fafnir605 and I am going to paste it below and I hope those who contributed this afternoon will come back and post their thoughts once again. I'd like to NOT have duplicate threads on the Parent Forum and new Music Forum and my intentions were to merge all the posts and redirect you to the thread on the Music Forum. I am going to post this in both places and then close the thread on the Parent Forum and hope you will join us on the new Music Forum and continue this topic there. Thank you for understanding. I'm obviously not a technology major!</p>

<p>HERE IS FAFNIR605'S ORIGINAL POST (TODAY AT 4:14 PM):</p>

<p>Are you as tired of dragging yourself, your kid, the instrument(s) and everything else to the endless rounds of music auditions every weekend? I have just about had it. I feel for my poor daughter, who spends her life making up missed schoolwork and exams every Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday because she's back out on the road or on the plane on Thursday for the school of the week, not to mention the hours of practicing the pieces that she has been working on forever. Let's not even get into the expenses of all of these junkets.
Her friends have ED'ed or EA'd or Rolled, or are sitting home waiting for the mailman, while she's still out there trying to impress. Of course, one blown audition can destroy four years of good grades, ECs, essays, etc. I have a college senior at an Ivy--it was easier! Come sympathize together.</p>

<p>I'll add mine again....The audition thing will end and it will be fine. DS did this route in 2003, and it took a week just to schedule it all with the festivals, auditions, competitions, and concert dates all considered. His were spread out from November to early March so he really didn't miss much school at a time. We, however, were in Baltimore on President's Day weekend for his Peabody audition. In case you all don't remember, that was the weekend the DC area got almost 30 inches of snow. The nice part about the auditions was that DS ran into kids repeatedly at auditions, AND he met up with lots of friends from summer festivals and regional festivals. We actually enjoyed the audition process. Someone asked about instruments on planes...DS has a triple trumpet case and never had any difficulty taking it with him on the plane.</p>

<p>P.S. Thank you to the moderators for creating this area. I've often thought that the issues pertaining to music majors are unique and really don't match up with musical theater or arts majors. SO...thanks!!</p>

<p>THANKS so much for 'our' own forum!!</p>

<p>S did the music audition thing two years ago, dragging around a very large tuba. I guess he thought it so much fun that he's considering a transfer and will drag that tuba around to a few more auditions in the next month or so. Sigh.</p>

<p>Best of luck to all our passionate young musicians!</p>

<p>wow musicmom-I saw a kid drag the tuba at UCI and I thought "glad the son chose trumpet".
Re audtions-they do end well. But what a rollercoaster for me-so little knowledge of music on my part. I would have rather dropped and gave birth in the hall at UCSB than go through the stress of the first audition.</p>

<p>I'll try to recreate my post that was on the original thread as well....</p>

<p>Let me tell you, fafnir605, that I could have written your post myself, as it is very much my experience. But I will also tell you, you will get through it and live to tell the tale and your kid will be happy some place next year. I was where you are at right around this time last year. My youngest child was applying/auditioning to BFA programs in Musical Theater, which entails the same sort of audition rounds (8 colleges in 8 weeks time or so). The admissions process was mind boggling selective....anywhere between a 3-10% admit rate at all the programs....like you say, worse than Ivy League admissions and I have a soph at one of those too. And so much rides on the audition. But it is all part of their field. My D has auditioned many times in her life and will hopefully many times more. The main difference was, as she put it, "so much more is riding on the line....it isn't about getting into one show but about the next four years of my life!" You'll survive and you can join my ranks next year....been there, done that. </p>

<p>Oh, and both my kids were heavily involved in instrumental music as well, so I know that score too (sorry on the pun). </p>

<p>happy tunes ahead....
Susan</p>

<p>I had posted before, and I guess that it was one of the ones inadvertently deleted. My son plays horn, and he will be doing his first audition where he has to fly. His horn has a fixed bell, but he is still hoping to take it as carry on. Have any of you had experience flying with a horn? Will the airlines allow it to be carried on?
Thanks so much!</p>

<p>Cyclistmom-try contacting Thedad. His daughter flew with a french horn, I am certain it has a fixed bell. Somewhere there is a letter that states an instrument must be allowed as carryon. I had a copy I got from CC, but it is in son's trumpet case.</p>

<p>My daughter is now a junior at Rice- vocal performance major. She attended Interlochen Arts Academy for her last two years of high school. The Interlochen kids attended auditions withouth their parents, for the most part. The trips from remote northern Michigan involved switching planes (always), lost luggage, late flights etc. The kids tried to go in groups whenever possible. There was a fun road trip to Cleveland. My daughter bombed one audition- Julliard-which didn't upset ME at all! She had to get up at 4 the next morning to fly to Indianapolis for her IU audition in Bloomington. She called me from the Indy airport very teary- she was dehydrated, tired and discouraged. I told her, "Indiana isn't your first choice. Relax, get some water, get on the bus. Enjoy your first Big Ten college weekend!" She called me a couple hours later- she had nailed the audition! She gained a lot of poise and confidence through the audition process (and she was a Diva to begin with....) She did miss a lot of class, and was begging me to let her drop calculus. After she got her 5 on the AP exam, she thanked me for holding her in it.<br>
It is all worth it. Keep us posted on how it goes.</p>

<p>cyclistsmom - My S also plays horn, but his is a detachable bell. However, we have a lot of experience flying with instruments, as we live overseas. We try to fly Delta as often as possible, as they seem to be the most flexible about the instruments. (We also fly with violins.) We've had a bit of trouble with Air France and Luftansa. When my son has to fly on smaller planes, that don't have space around the seats, the cabin crew take his horn up front and store it somewhere. </p>

<p>After 9/11 there was a lot of trouble with orchestras trying to fly to concerts, and airlines being sticklers about carryon size. I will try to include a link to the letter that resulted. It is recommended that musicians carry this letter when flying, should there be a question. This letter is only good within the US, though. </p>

<p><a href="http://www.local802afm.org/about/TSALetter.pdf%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.local802afm.org/about/TSALetter.pdf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>Although this letter says the instrument is in addition to carryon and personal item, we generally use the horn as S's carryon, so as to not push the issue. </p>

<p>In addition, here are some tips for flying with instruments:
<a href="http://www.menc.org/information/infoserv/traveltipsformusicians.html%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.menc.org/information/infoserv/traveltipsformusicians.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>And let me also chime in and say I am glad for this new forum! I first found CC two years ago, when searching the web to find out what S should wear to auditions!</p>

<p>Thanks for adding this category! We, too, have another couple of weeks of auditions in voice. The fact that this keeps the question of where she'll be accepted to college and the fact that she's being assessessed on the front burner has been very difficult emotionally. She really does believe that everyone else either knows where they're going or has everything in the mail and won't think about college again until the end of March. The notion that 15 minutes of singing on the road can make or break her plans for the next four years really is daunting.</p>

<p>Thanks so much for the links Binx. They were very informative. I printed out the information from both of them. Also, your comment about what to wear raised another question. He hadn't even thought about that. What should he wear?</p>

<p>He wore khaki pants, white dress shirt, and navy blazer. I don't really remember, but I think he also wore a tie. (I actually had to go back and look at the photos we took on our audition trip! He's not wearing a tie in any of the photos, but I think he did have one.) I do remember thinking he fit in well with the other auditionees. I also remember him shopping for a blazer he was real comfortable in. It served him well for 4 college auditions, a scholarship compeition, his senior recital (HS), and his performance when he won the competition. Then he lost it...</p>

<p>Schlepping a double bass around wasn't exactly my idea of fun either. I think about the only harder instrument with which to travel would be a full-sized concert harp. Since there doesn't seem to be a standard model of bass (dimensions vary considerably), relying on borrowing or renting one is not a good strategy for an audition. You really want to practice as much as possible on the same instrument that will be used for the audition.</p>

<p>Flying with the things is hopeless unless you enjoy carting an object that, in its flight case, is nearly seven feet long and weighs just under the airlines' overweight limit of 100 pounds. The stares and comments you get range from the annoying ("Don't you wish you'd studied flute?" for the one hundred sixty-seventh time) to the uninformed ("Is that a trombone in there?") to the painfully obvious ("Wow, that's big."). Checking in at the airport invariably requires half an hour of explanations and consultation with at least three levels of airline management.</p>

<p>For trips less than 1000 miles, it is much easier to drive. In that case, the package only weighs 35 pounds or so, but it still takes up about as much room as a walrus with rigor mortis. Some ingenious person invented a device that allows you to install a wheel where the endpin normally goes. This makes carting it around much less of a strain on the back, provided you don't hit too many staircases or unpaved areas.</p>

<p>Our worst audition weekend was driving to Philadelphia right after school on Friday for a Saturday morning appointment at Curtis, driving all day Saturday to get to NEC in Boston for a Sunday afternoon appointment, then getting home at about 1 AM so daughter could be at school at 7:15 on Monday. </p>

<p>I did not know it was possible to smell stress until I sat in the lobby at Curtis, observing kids heading up and down the staircase for their auditions there. At least that one made all the others seem easy by comparison.</p>

<p>So great to have this site! Thanks, CC. </p>

<p>BassDad: The Curtis remark made me cringe just reading it! I totally understand.</p>

<p>My D is at UM in VP and MT. She's busy and loving life right now.</p>

<br>


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<p>The letter my son carries was written by the musicians union. Basically it states that there is an agreement with the security folks that musicians can carry their instruments in addition to a carry on luggage bag and a personal item (like a briefcase or computer case). He carries it with him at all times. He has had NO trouble on domestic flights. His friends, however, who are trombone players did have some difficulty on international flights this fall. However, the airline took the instruments as the students boarded and handed them back when they got off the plane. I would suggest a durable hard case, not a gig bag, for plane trips. The other amusing thing is that the security folks always got into conversation with DS about his three trumpets...wanting to know why he had three, what the difference was etc. NOW...DD has a different problem. When we travel with her we MUST check luggage (not her instrument...) because she is an oboe/English horn player and her reed making equipment has to come along...but NOT on the plane. They are little knives that look like box cutters. SO she carries at least 1/2 dozen prepared reeds with her and we check the reed making materials. It's a real PITA because usually we do not need check baggage...but there isn't a choice!!</p>

<p>Thanks for the new music forum!</p>

<p>FAFNIR605: I'm here to commiserate, and I feel your pain! Probably not as exhausted as you, though, since S (also a student at Interlochen) is pretty much on his own for these audition trips. Except for a couple recorded auditions he submitted to safety schools, he's really just getting started, with only one top choice audition done, and three more biggies scheduled within the next few weeks. So far, the outcome is great - rolling admission to Indiana in November, auditioned on 1/14, and acceptance letter to the School of Music received by 2/1. Taking advantage of the IU rolling admissions and relatively early audition date was an excellent strategy suggested last summer by one of the CCers. Knowing that he's already in at one of his top choices seems to be helping him stay calm, but there's just no way he can not feel some stress about upcoming gigs at Eastman, CIM, and Juilliard. I am meeting him for the Juilliard audition since I'm not quite ready to send my 17yr.old small town kid off to NYC by himself, so I guess I'll get to share the stress up close and personally. Best of luck to your D! Keep us posted.</p>

<p>mommab: the Juilliard audition is kind of fun for the parents, because the auditioners go upstairs and the parents CANNOT! The chairs are comfy, and ALL the other parents are quite chatty. It is quite an experience, one to be treasured, regardless. Does he have rehearsal with accompanist before audition?</p>

<p>My little Petunia has had no trouble dragging her bassoon and her tenor sax on airplanes. She is going for Music Ed and wants to teach woodwinds, and she is auditioning on both instruments. What we've done is ask for permission to board early, so that she can place her instruments in the overhead, and so far, the gate people have allowed her to do that. She's always worried that the baggage screeners will give her a hard time, but they've been wonderful. I hadn't even thought about the reed-making implements! Thanks for the heads-up. I am trying to look at this as great practice for when she comes home to visit poor ol' (and I DO mean poor) Mom and Dad I can't even fathom the difficulties of auditions at Juilliard, Peabody, et. al. Thanks for this forum. While I have gotten valuable info from the rest of the discussion website, this fills a void for me. And soozie, we've met at another college website to remained unnamed--our mutual friend TL with the appendix problem during freshman year finals. Glad that your child wound up where she did--we are sad to leave after four wonderful years!</p>

<p>Thanks to all for the great information aabout flying with instruments. I did talk with the airlines today. Their "official" stance was that it would be up to the gate staff as to whether he would be able to bring his horn on the plane or gate check it. We'll bring the copy of the letter and hope for the best. Now, if only I could get him to wear a tie.</p>