My attempt for a unique essay

<p>I really wanted a unique essay that could say a lot about numerous parts of my life...please read and give feedback!!</p>

<p>A purple painted egg, a vintage medicine bottle and a hair clip lay on a white plastic kitty corner shelf in my bedroom.
They represent who I am.</p>

<p>The egg on my shelf isn’t your average Easter egg that was dipped in dye and plastered with stickers of bunnies. The egg has intricate white flowers painted on it. When I bought the egg in a small gift shop in Prague, I fell in love with the beauty of the egg. However, now I realize that the real beauty was that someone turned a boring white chicken egg into a work of art. The painted egg reveals a part of me. Oh don’t you worry, I am not about to go into a whole discussion how Maybelline made me pretty, but about my determination to do well in English. I told myself during my freshman year that I was going to take my love for literature and read and write to the best to my ability to make it into Honors. I was not born the best reader, but with practice I knew I could soar. When I finally stepped into my Honors English class sophomore year, I knew that my hard work was worth it.
The second important item on my shelf is white jeweled hair clip that my Nonna brought back for me from Florence, Italy. It symbolizes the struggle with my hair and how I had to learn to accept it. While everyone else had straight shiny hair, I had giant frizzy waves that could scare kids on a playground and I was embarrassed by it. When I was fifteen, I began to save my money to get my hair Japanese straightened, but I suddenly I realized that I should embrace my hair and wear it in its natural state. I could temporarily straighten my hair, but my hair will never change. Although hair is such an insignificant dilemma compared to other struggles in life, it taught me to accept that there are some aspects of life we cannot change. I couldn’t control that my parents separated two weeks before my junior year or that I moved three times during the school year, I had to adjust and maintain calm during havoc. I have learned to accept the constant transformations in my life, no matter what they may be. </p>

<p>The second item on my shelf that represents me is a cobalt blue glass bottle with the engraved words ““Genuine Phillips Milk of Magnesium Tablets.” The inside of the bottle is foggy and has a white crusty residue that is over fifty years old. Years ago the bottle held medicine to cure heartburn, now it holds pink plastic daisies to help decorate my room. I am versatile like the Milk of Magnesium bottle. I have enthusiasm towards so much in life that I find it hard to define myself. I love the serenity of the beach, but I also love the rush of skiing. I love the laughter from being with my friends, but I love the crackles of the fireplace when I’m alone in my family room watching a movie. I take advantage of everything life has to offer.</p>

<p>I hate to sound exceedingly ominous but posting your personal essay on a forum as public as this one is not the wisest choice to make…Your essay is very creative but do not give someone the opportunity to take your talent and claim it as their own</p>

<p>Yeah agree with mangocandy4. Also, what does the egg have to do with English class. Sounds kind of cheesy also comparing yourself to different objects in your room. Really just a botched job overall.</p>

<p>First, don’t post your essay publicly, PM it to people you trust. Second, variates of the “things in my room/things on my shelf that represent me” essay are quite common and generic.</p>

<p>I say post your essay maybe you’ll get famous but maybe you should copyright it or something maybe.</p>

<p>Throughout the essay, you are supposed to show the adcoms the strengths you have which make you a great admit to that college. The reason kids write about a challenge, something that motivated them, a turning point, etc, is because these can show one’s attitude, resiliance, how they have been tested and came out better for it, etc.</p>

<p>Firstly, like the previous posters have stated it is not wise to post your essay on an open forum like this.
For my advice I’d say to re-do this essay. Honestly, this essay sounds like it was written by a twelve year old. The writing is simple and the comparisons between yourself and the objects don’t make sense. Also, SHOW don’t TELL. You are telling the admissions counselors everything about yourself instead of showing them.
Also, the meme of using objects to represent yourself is cliche’d and corny. It is unique and will if anything get you a eye-roll by the admissions readers.
If you do decide to continue this theme PLEASE don’t start of your essay with your first two sentences. It is not a proper thesis statement.</p>

<p>You don’t take any risks. There is too much summation, tell them why and how.</p>

<p>1) Ah! Don’t post this publicly.
2) Is your birthday January 8th? If so, mine too :D</p>