My Dad's interesting perspective

<p>Alright here's the story. I was talking to my Dad about going to revisit days and he said if I get accepted to my number one choice I should just accept and THEN go to the revisit day (keep in mind I only applied to two schools). Since I like my first choice so much more than the other one he doesn't think there is any way I could change my mind. He's probably right, but I still really want to go to the revisit days because it's such an important choice. </p>

<p>Oh and this is why he doesn't want me to go. He is an employer and one time when he was hiring he accepted this woman and she waited 5 weeks to accept the job. It's been 5 years since she accepted and he still remembers that about her. I think boarding schools are very different but maybe not?</p>

<p>Any thoughts?</p>

<p>If it won't cost your family too much money, do it. There's no reason not too (unless getting there will cost too much money).</p>

<p>It's not the money so much that's the issue, although it will cost alot but I think we can afford it. The real issue is he doesn't want the school to think that I can't make up my mind. I'm not sure what to think I mean what I said is that I doubt of the 100s of student who go to revisit day, they will hold it against each one of them. What's my best argument for going to the revisit days? He's still willing to let me go, I just wish I could convince him.</p>

<p>I disagree, deciding to attend a BS is a life changing decision, and you should give it a lot of good thought before you make a decision with such significance. </p>

<p>And schools will not hold it against you, if it takes you a while to make a decision. They encourage students to explore their opportunities.</p>

<p>Well if you're already in, who cares what the schools think...</p>

<p>There is more then decision making that goes on at revisit days. This is when community-building begins. You meet people, explore EC and classes, and dorm life in a more detailed way. If you skip this mini-orientation, you will be at a disadvantage when you arrive later.</p>

<p>It is also when the school starts the process of separating you from your parents - which they need for a successful transition.</p>

<p>I'll be missing revisit day because I live in Europe so I sincerely hope that this won't put me at a disadvantage, toadstool</p>

<p>Revisit days are actually going to even out the responsibilities of my family- my parents are divorced. My mom took me on interviews and hopefully I will have enough revisit days to have my dad take me on them.</p>

<p>I think the revisit days will help, you make a decision, but seriously, I doubt that the schools will be paying that much attention to an individual. They have hundreds of students that have been accepted, and they're not going to be like "OMG it took blah blah blah 4 weeks to make a possibly life-altering decision." I probably won't be going because it's another week missed of school, and traveling 3000 miles just doesn't seem worth it.</p>

<p>Revisit days are really important. You'd be surprised at the high percentage (I'd guess 10%-20%) for whom revisit days change their school decision. Remember, up to this point in time, you have sold yourself and, if lucky, two schools will want to buy. </p>

<p>Just like an employer respects a good candidate's careful due diligence before joining the company, a boarding school will respect your desire to take a harder second look to be sure of your decision. The initial school visit, which goes by in a blink, is often too short an experience on which to base the next four years of your life.</p>

<p>It’s now up to the schools to sell you, to close the deal. I do think, like your Dad, that immediately following the revisit days, you should let the schools know your decision so that the losing school can open your spot to someone else as soon as possible. The only caveat to all of this is if you explicitly told one of the schools that if you were admitted, you would attend. If you did that, and are admitted, then you should go – no revisit days. That’s like going ED to college.</p>

<p>I think that a number of people don't decide until after the revisit. I don't think schools hold it against you if you are trying to decide. That is just normal. I think it is different than an employee situation. I also hire people, and I would not hold an offer open for 5 weeks; usually I need to fill the position sooner. I have held positions open for other circumstances (medical/personal) but also would not do it indefinitely. With a job, even if the employee decides right away that it is the wrong position, they can leave. If you go to a boarding school, you usually will not want to leave right away, even if it is not what you expected - transfer issues, etc.</p>

<p>Tell your father that while that may be true in the business world, it is not in the BS world. If you are accepted to both schools, you should absolutely go to both revisits. Many opinions have been swayed after revisists. Another parent wrote an excellent post about the difference between looking at schools when interviewing and looking at them after an acceptance. Before acceptance, it's easy to be blinded by the amazingness of them all because you're comparing them to your current school. After acceptance, the "Oh, if only I can get in!" factor is eliminated and it's easier to compare them. It's worth searching for the post. It was fairly recent (last month). I think it did a very good job of illustrating the value of revisists and how different they are than the initial tour/interview.</p>

<p>There is no need to commit before revisits....no need at all.</p>

<p>I expect that the individual attention on revisit day will be dependent on the school. I assume that big schools like E/A/C with 350+ visitors will be less inclined to go out of their way for the prospective students, while smaller schools like Groton and Middlesex with around 150 vistors will really try to draw each and every student in. </p>

<p>Schools like Groton only accept like 150 students, and they have 2 revisit days. I would guess that 65 students are at each one.</p>

<p>We only went to revisit day at Andover. I think that they had a total of four of them. We definitely felt that they went "out of their way" for all of us. I know it is easy to assume that small schools will be more welcoming than larger schools. I too had the feeling that Andover might be "too large," but that has not been the case. While larger, they have more of everything, so that the number of widgets/student is on the same level of all the other schools. They do a really good job at everything. My point here is: don't automatically write off the larger schools as not providing a good sense of community. They can do it just as well as smaller schools. Nothing against smaller schools by the way, it is up to each student/family to decide what is best for them.</p>

<p>As for telling a school that you accept the offer: as long as you do it by the required date, you will be fine. If you have definitely decided to attend before the deadline date to accept, it will help the schools and those on waitlists if you send it in as soon as possible. But, you are under no obligation to do so. Feel free to take the time they give you to do your research as to which school that has accepted you will be best for YOU.</p>

<p>I agree with the other posters that the schools are not going to care one way or another. </p>

<p>My daughter decided to re-visit her #1 choice and then stick with it if she liked it. It wasn't for the reason your dad says, but it's kind of similar. She didn't want to go through the motions with the other 2 schools if #1 was panning out.</p>

<p>+1 for Brooklynguy. Large schools can roll out an impressive red carpet. When D was accepted at NMH we went to revisit day. Spouse had never visited before as D and I did interview day alone. Revisit day was great. When D walked in to register several staff members, coaches and teachers came up to her, remembering her details and making her feel extraordinarily welcome. D had other choices, smaller schools, and NMH by far had the best personalized follow through.</p>