<p>Nutter the biggest temptation is that little voice in your head that says 'I can play this one game', or 'I haven't played for six weeks so it's better now'. </p>
<p>Don't play. It's not hard to not play, it's hard to STOP playing. So just don't play. Ever.</p>
<p>"I feel that I can do pretty well academically if I dramatically scale down the amount of time I spend playing poker. Am I right? To me it just seems like a question of motivation and willpower?"</p>
<p>Nutter, you cannot do well academically by scaling down the amount of time you play. My opinion, and the consensus opinion of other posters on this thread, is that you need decide to never gamble or play poker again because you have found this is an activity you cannot handle in moderation. Handling an addiction is not a matter of motivation and willpower so much as a matter of avoiding temptation. You should not go near the game at all, ever. </p>
<p>Have you understood that is the message here and is that what you have decided to do?</p>
<p>Nutter, your posts are coming across about the same way they would if you were somone who flunked out of college and admitted that it was because he passed out drunk almost every night, had now gone without a drink for a couple of months, and posted saying "next year, I'll only go out to drink 1-2 a week and limit myself to two beers." </p>
<p>If it's an addiction--and it sounds like it is--you can't play poker once a week for fun limited to $1 a pot anymore than an alcoholic can drink 1-2 times a week and limit it to two beers.</p>
<p>I think you should stay on your current job for at least another five years. After that you may be ready to go to a college again. Perhaps not even then.</p>
<p>^ I agree with padad. Going to college next fall will be a waste of time and money. You'll end up next summer in the same place you are today.</p>
<p>Stay with your family, and hold a full time job for at least a year. No poker, or other distractive behavior. Think about what you want to do with your life - if you are no longer excited by engineering, think of something else.</p>
<p>Don't even think about going away to college with attitude "if I scale down poker, I can do fine". That's what you did second semester this year, remember?</p>
<p>You took a bold step to reach out for help, and then admit a problem</p>
<p>So I repeat my question: Is there a chapter of "Gamblers Anonymous" near you?
They have meetings, support groups, mentors, people you call when you're tempted to go and try to gamble "just a little" and so forth. Sometimes it's a branch-off of Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous. </p>
<p>Of the alcholics I know who are "in recovery" (a lifelong relationship to staying "in recovery"), they can't say enough positive about the AA system. It's a 12-step program that moves along in stages. You've actually achieved a step or two right here on this forum, by admitting a problem. </p>
<p>Google is your friend now.."Gamblers Anonymous"; if not, try Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous to see if there's a sub-group just for gambling. It's all free and confidential.</p>
<p>You can do this. They also say it's not willpower but avoiding temptation, and their program of social meetings and network support, mentors, etc. (all voluntary, all free) has a fine rate of success for those who want to change their lives around.</p>
<p>I know people who have 20-year relationships with their "mentor." This winter, I watched an AA mentor get someone through a big crisis (the dad's death, and a job loss all in one month) without returning to drink. These 2 men are 60 years old, now live across a continent from each other, but they still call each other in crisis or temptation, attend meetings each in their hometowns... because that 12-step program from AA worked for them. They say that only another person who's gone that same path can understand them. </p>
<p>Good luck.</p>
<p>You should quit it cold turkey. There is no such thing as scale down.</p>
<p>Prior to writing the opening post I was not actually aware that I was addicted. I felt that it was ok to gamble etc. Now I have realized (thanks to your posts) that this is a problem that I have to face up to if I am to succeed in anything I ever do with my life. I have talked to my parents and we both agree in our viewpoints. There isn't really any kind of gamblers anonomoyus here but in a months time I will be in India and have identified a possible meeting that I could attend</p>
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Prior to writing the opening post I was not actually aware that I was addicted. I felt that it was ok to gamble etc. Now I have realized (thanks to your posts) that this is a problem that I have to face up to if I am to succeed in anything I ever do with my life.
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<p>You are making progress now. Especially talking things over with parents. How remarkable to have them understand your dilemma at this moment. I'm glad that the Gamblers Anonymous, or that type of meeting, exists in India. A month is not long to wait for something important.</p>
<p>Meanwhile, there is probably reading on "Twelve-Step Programs" on the Internet. As I understand it, a lot of them are parallel, whether the addiction is to alcohol, narcotics or gambling. </p>
<p>Naming the problem and saying "that could be me" or "that sounds like me" is supposed to be one of the hardest steps, yet you've done it here. Great start..keep going forward.</p>
<p>I appreciate that you put yourself out there and admitted your mistakes. </p>
<p>However, I think it sounds as though you need more structure and supervision and accountability and less access to discretionary income. I wonder why your parents would allow you to use a credit card at will in light of your gambling issues. </p>
<p>Gambling is a "high." People with gambling addictions and weight problems are almost always seeking to fill a void. Simply trying to limit your gambling is the wrong approach. Something else is obviously eating away at you on the inside. You need to address this and get some counseling and maybe pursue some behavior modification program. </p>
<p>Keep your chin up. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Put in the effort and you will turn things around for yourself. Good luck to you.</p>