<p>I’m repeating myself because it will hopefully get through the OP’s head at some point that she needs to assume full responsibility because the event occurred because of the actions she took, not because of her roommate.</p>
<p>No it’s not fair to ask her to pay for half. It’s not fair to ask her to pay a cent.</p>
<p>You have already mentioned to her about paying for some of the loss. She made it clear she will not. You cannot force her, and in my opinion she should not offer anything to you, end of story. I agree that it is your fault for making the decision to go to bed with an unlocked door.</p>
<p>As for your presumption of the young male…sounds more like racial profiling to me. It could have been anyone. Another girl could have gone in knowing that the door is rarely locked. Another girl could have heard your roommate ask you to not lock the door. You have no idea what happened because you were asleep.</p>
<p>Just because your roommate asks you to do something does not mean you must do it, especially when it goes against your better judgement.</p>
<p>It’s an absolutely ridiculous idea for you to even suggest that your roommate kick in money so you can buy another laptop. Ask your own parents. </p>
<p>You left the door unlocked. You left the laptop in plain view. </p>
<p>So, if your roommate’s laptop was stolen because she left the door unlocked, would you give her money towards a new one? I think not. </p>
<p>Your belief and logic that she give you money towards the purchase of another laptop is majorly flawed. She doesn’t owe you a penny.</p>
<p>If she entered the room last, failed to lock the door and then your computer was stolen, that’s when you ask for money because it was her direct action that led to your belongings being stolen. You left the door open (regardless if she asked you to do so), it’s your responsibility.</p>
<p>If you know that she’s still not locking the door after having someone stroll into your room and stealing for you, go to your RA ASAP. That is dangerous. You already know someone (it could have very easily been a floormate) came in and took something. What’s stopping them from coming in or someone else? </p>
<p>Put your valuable and expensive belongings away and talk to your roommate as well about locking the door. You lock the door always, to hell with her.</p>
<p>This is why dorms need swipe card doors that lock automatically. A lost ID card is a situation that is much easier to fix than a lost key. And, at least in my old dorm, you could register your cell number online and text the door to get it to unlock.</p>
<p>How did you pay for this laptop? If you used a credit card, especially if it’s AmEx, you may be able to get your money back. My kid lost her iphone which was 11.5 month old. AmEx was prepared to refund the amount to me, but she found it in front of a fraternity house later on.</p>
<p>I think you would be hard pressed to get the roommate to help out.</p>
<p>At my school, in all of the housing except ONE dorm, the only thing a person needs to do to get in and go to any floor they want is swipe their ID, so it’s very easy for someone who doesn’t belong to get in – all they have to do is simply wait for someone to either swipe in, or come out. The one dorm that’s different has a system where you have to swipe in, and then swipe again to gain access to the stairs or to use the elevator. That’s how most schools I know of are.</p>
<p>Also, fwiw, I ALWAYS keep my room locked…even though my housemate and I both lock our apartment at all times, except when we’re running down to the basement to do laundry. That way, if for some reason, the apartment door was unlocked and someone got in, everything I own that’s worth anything is safely locked up. All that I have in the common areas of the apartment is my food and dishes – all very easily replaceable for not that much money.</p>
<p>I certainly think you are within your right to ask your roommate for some help in paying for the laptop. Yes you did leave the door unlocked but only because she had repeatedly requested you to do so. I would approach it in a very non-confrontational way - tell her how bad you feel about getting your laptop stolen, how hard it is going to be to save up money for another one, how frustrating it is because you were only trying to be a good friend and help her out with her simple request. You really value your friendship with her and don’t want this to get in the way but it is so frustrating when you need to take on the entire cost even though the reason why it happened is because you were doing something for her. I would tell her that you realize that you had the ultimate responsibility – you could have just locked the door --" but boy it sure would be nice if you could help me out with this one. If it would have been your laptop stolen - I certainly would be willing to step in to help you. " </p>
<p>It is like if your tree falls in a storm on your neighbor’s garage - it is not your legal responsibility to fix their garage. It was an act of god and not your fault. But a good neighbor will step up and go out there with a chainsaw and help out - just because it is the right thing to do.</p>
<p>No she doesn’t have to help but perhaps if you appeal to her as a friend - she may help.</p>
<p>You mention the roommate contract. At every school I know of during the first few days of school the RAs encourage students to either review and revise an existing one to suit them, or they are asked to write one with things that are important to them. It facilitates early discussion and setting clear boundaries to avoid conflict on things such as overnight guests, lights on past X (ie okay or use bed light?), do you share food or not, etc. This is where you would come to a mutually agreeable decision on locking the door. Students are encouraged to go back and revisit/revise the agreement as needed if things were left unclear or as part of conflict resolution. Did you not have one? If you did, why didn’t you address keeping the door locked? As you saw it become an issue, why did you not revisit the rm agreement to aid in resolving this issue to come to a mutually agreeable decision on keeping the door locked?</p>
<p>This goes back to you making a conscious decision over time (not just once) to accommodate your rms desire to keep the door unlocked over your own. Now something has happened and you’re crying foul and want her to take responsibility for your decision too. Being an adult doesn’t work that way. </p>
<p>I am honestly sorry that your laptop is gone, that you didn’t stand up for yourself sooner, that you are expending a lot of energy trying to justify your rm being responsible for your decision. You made that choice, time and again. She may be guilty of being a selfish rm, but that doesn’t come with financial liability for your adult decisions. </p>
<p>Get another laptop, keep it secured, either locked or with you. I am in agreement with those that have pointed out the theft could very likely be from someone who was aware that the door would be unlocked. This points to a hall mate or another person at the university that could have known the pattern. Unless there were a series of thefts that night it’s more likely you were targeted due to knowledge of the unlocked door.</p>
<p>If you asked the roommate for money towards buying a new laptop and she refused, there’s not really much you can do other than, say, small claims court, which seems extreme. You can’t force her.</p>
<p>^Her roommate didn’t do anything wrong. The owner of the laptop chose to leave the door unlocked. The owner of the laptop left the laptop out in the open rather than in a closet, drawer, or other discreet place.</p>
<p>I would honestly be more stressed about people walking into my room while I’m sleeping than stressing over how to ask my roommate for money (especially when she already said no). This makes me wonder how true this claim really is.</p>
<p>I can’t believe people on here. Of course she should help pay for it, because if it hadn’t been for her asking to leave the door unlocked, the theft would not have happened. Now the ultimate criminal is the thief, of course, but the roommate’s action directly impacted the laptop being stolen. You shouldn’t even have to ask, she should have offered to pay for part of it. I know I would have.</p>
<p>Just because she agreed to do her a favor doesn’t mean the fault is on her. Since when being nice means she’s at fault in the incident?? Obviously she could have said no, but she chose to be nice and she ends up having her laptop stolen. The least the roommate should do is help pay for the laptop. Such a no brainer.</p>
<p>^The OP must have had a reason to keep the door locked in the first place … Like she was aware of what could (and would) happen with an unlocked door. Just because the roommate asked her to unlock it doesn’t mean she’s responsible. The OP went against their own better judgement and and as a result she was robbed. If the roommate herself was the one to leave the door unlocked, it would be her fault 100%, but that’s not what happened. YOU decided not to lock your door and your stuff got stolen. It sucks, but next time, lock your door.</p>
<p>And it doesn’t matter if the roommate should do anything. OP asked and you shot down. Nothing else can be done.</p>
<p>You asked, she said no. You left the door unlocked, not her. You can’t blame someone else for what YOU did, even if they asked you to do so. If someone in a car you are driving tells you to make a turn and you do so, causing an accident, whose fault do you think it is? It certainly is not determined by what the person TOLD you to do but is determined by who is driving, and ultimately whose insurance covers the car. It’s not fair, but that is the way it works. </p>
<p>You can now firmly state, and let the RA know that the room door will be locked. Still, I don’t know what recourse you would have if your roommate forgets or deliberately does not lock the door in the future, and some other like incident occurs.</p>
<p>I would be more seriously concerned about the fact that someone entered your room while you were sleeping. Hopefully, that issue is being addressed.</p>
<p>Hypothetical question - what if both people bought a small microwave together and it was taken from the room, who would be responsible in replacing it? Better still, what if it was the roommate’s laptop which was stolen, then who should replace it?</p>
<p>The OP. The one who left the door unlocked.</p>
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<p>This is how the real world works. If my roommate in my apartment consistently loses her keys and asks me to leave the door unlocked for her, who’s fault is it if I comply and someone steals my things? Mine. Just because it’s college doesn’t mean it’s any different. It’s YOUR responsibility to secure your things. I could see if the roommate left the door unlocked, then this would be more of an issue. But as blue iguana put it so eloquently, “This goes back to you making a conscious decision over time (not just once) to accommodate your rms desire to keep the door unlocked over your own. Now something has happened and you’re crying foul and want her to take responsibility for your decision too. Being an adult doesn’t work that way.”</p>
<p>Besides, it’s always ultimately your responsibility to replace your things either way. Even if the roommate did leave the door unlocked but then refused to replace the laptop with her money, what are you going to do then? You can’t force anyone to give you their money, unless you sue. Insurance would be a good idea from here on out, especially if your roommate is flaky enough to leave the door unlocked. And if you’re at a school where she has to pay to get back into her room, it may do her some good to get “accidentally” locked out a few times. I used to have a roommate who misplaced her keys all the time and it was such a pain, and this was in a real apartment. Better to learn now in college.</p>
<p>I’m with Juillet on this one. I’m very sorry about what happened, OP, but unfortunately the responsibility is going to end up on you, and while I agree it’s fine to ask the roommate for money, you can’t do much more than that (ie: force her). It’s a very uncomfortable place to be, but truly, you will learn a lesson from this.</p>
<p>I learned mine years after college, when I was travelling with two friends and put the entire hotel charge on my credit card. I only got payment from one of the two. From now on, I ALWAYS find a way to split big payments like that and refuse to do it any other way. But I had to learn that lesson the hard (and expensive) way.</p>
<p>The truth is, this was both of your faults. The roommate was being inconsiderate in your consistent requests to lock the door, but you were also perhaps not strong enough in enforcing this. Had you said, “When I go to bed, I’m locking the door from now on.” your laptop wouldn’t have been stolen - unless she came in after you were asleep using her key, and didn’t lock the door behind her – then if a thief snuck in while you both were sleeping, you would have a legitimate argument. Again, especially for people like myself who are trusting and always give people the benefit of the doubt, it instills that sense of doubt which is needed to not have this happen over and over again. You don’t have to mistrust everyone you meet, but it just teaches you to protect yourself, politely but firmly.</p>
<p>Again, I’m sorry this happened to you, and I would disagree with some of the harsher posters on here. You were well within your rights to ask, but now that it’s obvious she won’t pay up, you should move on. A painful and expensive lesson, but I promise, you will learn from this and it will pay off later down the line.</p>
<p>While in college I was moving back for the summer and got a ride with my girlfriends dad. He neglected to secure the tailgate on the truck, and all my stuff fell out somewhere on the highway. We never recovered it. It was everything I owned, at that time, everything. He admitted his mistake but didnt offer to replace any of my stuff. </p>
<p>Point is that sometimes bad things just happen. Yes, people make mistakes, and we might want to hold them responsible. But if they dont offer to help and you arent willing to sue them then you just need to let it go.</p>