<p>Throughout my entire life, my mom has forced upon the notion that obtaining a job in the medical field is the only way to a successful way of life. As a senior in high school, I get high grades and scored well on my SAT. I have always had a passion to pursue something in the mathematics area, preferably something among finance, economics, and accounting (these majors have sufficient job availability as well) . However, my mom says that choosing these areas to major in is "easy" and that I'm "lazy" for even suggesting those majors. My sister doesn't help in this situation. She says that I should pursue something in medical because it will make you feel like a better person and make you feel like "you're helping out the world". What my sister doesn't realize is that this is my life. I feel like I should have a say into what I want to pursue for the rest of my life. Sure helping out the world is nice but I'm not interested in the medical field. My mom forced my sister to pursue something medical so my sister first started off as a major in pharmacy. She couldn't keep up and she had to switch to accounting. I don't understand why my sister and mom still want me to pursue medical.. don't they ever learn from mistakes? My mom regards me as the "smartest" person in the family. Does being the "smartest" person in the family mean I can't have a mind of my own? I am living my own life so I could pursue a major that fits me and interests me. I'm sick of pursuing my MOM'S DREAM. My dad is indifferent of this whole mess. He does not mind what field I choose to pursue in and he doesn't really care about the family. He won't be a huge impact in the field that I choose. My mom isn't even paying for college either way because I'll be paying her back the loans instead. If that's the case, and I am ultimately PAYING for this degree, then isn't it my choice as to what I want to major in? I am stressed enough as it is and I don't appreciate my mom contributing to this stress. Sorry if I sound like a spoiled brat for complaining and thank you all for reading!</p>
<p>(My mom is Asian btw, she's the stereotypical "tiger mom")</p>
<p>Additionally, my mom calls me a “bad kid” and that my friends (who are all good kids) have influenced my for the worst because I don’t want to take medical. I just feel like the way my mom is acting is wrong and it isn’t right for her to deny my right to choose a major. I worked extremely hard throughout my high school education and to have all that hard work go towards a field I do not want to pursue in really sucks. In fact, it isn’t plausible for me to go into a field and be successful in it without loving the field. My mom doesn’t understand that.</p>
<p>Well, I think this is a family issue first and foremost, so we’re not terribly qualified on this forum to chime in on that. But!</p>
<p>There are many things that would probably combine your interests of mathematics with the medical field. For example, epidemiology relies on mathematical modeling to predict the spread of diseases or to identify the sources. Or many new computational approaches to existing fields like Neuroscience. </p>
<p>I’m pretty sure I’ve read on CC that it doesn’t matter what you’re undergrad degree is if you want to pursue med school. Your MCAT results will though. So get a degree in whatever you want. Then, if you decide to go to med school you can pursue it. But if you don’t, you’ll have a degree in the field you wanted.</p>
If your mother is lending you the money, then she has a vested interest in seeing that you will be gainfully employed and capable of paying her back.</p>
<p>To go to med school, you can major in ANYTHING. There is no pre-med major. You just need GPA & MCAT scores. </p>
<p>Major in math if that’s what turns you on. Tell her being a math major (or whatever your forte is) will enable you to attain a higher GPA to be a more competitive med school candidate. Just take a few extra relevant courses that can help u do well on the MCAT, so ostensibly you can tell your mother you will be prepared for the test. This will get her off your back.</p>
<p>Then, come time to take the MCAT, if you don’t want to go to med school, you can do whatever you want.</p>
<p>You can major in math or economics while taking the pre-med courses on the side if you wish.</p>
<p>Choose a college where you get a full ride merit scholarship, so that you have no financial dependence on your mother (not even loans from her or loan co-signing or financial aid forms), so that she cannot veto your college and major choice through financial leverage. See the lists here:</p>
<p>With this being a cultural family issue, there is no easy way to make your mom suddenly “understand.” You can be creative with your college choices without directly showing your rebellion to your family. I recommend you never try to argue with your family again. Just go with the flow, find a one or two word answer that seems to placate them into thinking you agree with them.</p>
<p>Go with the idea mentioned above of getting a mathematically based major and tell you mom it is to “get a better gpa for med school.” Take a couple of the required side courses (the least worst ones you can find) just to please your mom along the way. And if you can research accounting/math jobs that are in the medical field, that might help a tiny bit with your mom. But you don’t even have to mention that you are taking a math major. Just let them think you are “pre med” and don’t dwell on any details.</p>
<p>Once you are away at college (please tell me you are leaving your house and living in a dorm for your college years!!) your family doesn’t have to know exactly which courses you are taking each semester. Don’t volunteer details, and be vague as you speak about your education in general. Do NOT sign a form that allows your parents to see all your grades and other information, otherwise she might catch on to what you are doing.</p>
<p>Then, when it’s time to take the MCAT, you can sabotage your test and bomb miserably. "Oh well, isn’t it great that I have this math major to fall back on ! "</p>
<p>Please don’t take on a lot of under grad debt if medical school is even a remote possibility. You will be crushed under a load of debt if you do. Doctors don’t make so much money that paying off huge student loans is no big deal. Get as much merit money as you can. </p>
<p>I have some experiences talking to Asian moms. They do & say those things mostly based on their own experiences etc. I would talk to your mom if I live in your area. Not all Asian moms are the same depends on your mom’s home country but I am going to offer an advise that may sound " crazy " but will help temporary defuse / or calm down the family tension:
next time your mom tells you what to do ( college, major, household chores, anything )
take a deep breathe, then
look her in the face sincerely ( even if you have to fake it !) , </p>
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<p>In the meantime, you will research all those full merit colleges ( see the links the other posters have shown you) & look up how much merit you may quality from your in-state school based on your grades/ stats. Are you a Georgian resident ? Univ of GA has a full merit & GA Tech also has some merit, those are extremely competitive. </p>
<p>Once you’re in college, you don’t have to tell her what classes you are taking. Nope. You can take any class you like. You don’t even have to talk to her. </p>
<p>But in the meantime, defusing the tension will get her off your back.
Hope this helps you a little bit. </p>
<p>That is where getting a full ride merit scholarship is necessary. If you have to depend on her for any college money, or cooperation on financial aid forms, she has veto power over your college attendance.</p>
<p>Does she want you to make money to challenge yourself? Sure, Math/Economics undergrad is easier than Med school in terms of workload, but why not take the easy route? The goal is making money, not making your life hard. </p>
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<p>That’s dumb. Ignore her. Ask her who is more important Bernanke or Yellen, or your the guy who gave you your vaccinations.</p>
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<p>Well, it’s not dumb to say you have a moral duty to your family and to society to create value, but it’s dumb to say that the only (or the best, or, in my opinion, even a good) way to do this is through medicine. The amount of schooling is ridiculous, you’re not going to be making that big pay until you’re 30, and even when that comes, it’s likely not going to be that big. </p>
<p>“My mom isn’t even paying for college either way because I’ll be paying her back the loans instead.”
-Since your mom cannot use financial leverage, why you are so concerned? Just do whatever you personally wish and choose your UG smartly, attend the college on the full tution Merit award (as you said you have high GPA and socres), no reason to pay for it!
On the other note, no matter how smart you are Medical is soooo challenging, you got to be committed 100%, your tiger mom will not help you to get thru all that is required to be successful there. If you yourself (not anybody else, not even a real tiger breathing into your neck) if you are not committed, you will get derailed, I can guarantee you that. even out of those who really have been dreaming about Med. School their entire life, even out of these crowd, very few will ultimately get accepted to Med. School. Because even dream is not enough, even genius is not enough, got to be able to work extremely hard (much harder than I knew any human being could, that is before my own D. entered Med. School). And what woudl be your motivation? Your tiger mom by no means will be sufficient motivation in this purusit. And since she is not financially supporitng you, she has no leverage whatsoever. I do not even understand your concern at all. You do not need to waste your time agruing. Just be nice to all the members of your family, do not anser anything in regard to your future, get away, ignore, smile in response and…do your own thing. However, I did push my own D. into meidicine, it took me some 3 years or so, because I knew that her chosen field of Marine Bio has no job prospects. It was relatively easy after her first Bio class in HS though. She just loved it and did not mind it at all. We discussed it in relatively clam ways BEFORE HS while she was very young. She has no regrets (4th year Med. Student), but the road is torturous to say it mildly. </p>
<p>Is tiger mom a doctor? If not, I’d say “Mom, if being a doctor is so important, why don’t YOU go to medical school?” If she’s not willing to do that herself, why should she feel that you should do it simply because she wants you to?</p>
<p>I won’t dare try to say that to an Asian Mom lol …because depending on which country mom is from, that response can be viewed immediately as disrespectful to the parent.
I would probably asked her " mom, tell me how you feel about working as a medical doctor ? "</p>
<p>It is possible the
usual response will be what the OP has heard many times at home" you bad boy / bad girl "</p>
<p>@flowermom you are giving great, practical advice! OP, you will need to walk softly and say “yes mom” about 10,000 times. It isn’t fair to you, but it is the way your family dynamics work, and hopefully this method will allow the tension to dissolve.</p>
<p>Remain confident on the inside that you have a great future planned out, but keep an outside shield of politeness and obedience that will smooth the road you have to travel.</p>
<p>I think it’s unlikely that “yes mom” will work. What will you do next summer when mom insists you volunteer in a hospital? What happens when she tells you to you earn your EMT and work on a rescue squad? You can’t just say “Yes mom” and think she won’t notice that you aren’t doing the stuff that premeds do. </p>
<p>^^ because hopefully by next summer, OP does not need to speck to mom anymore or at least not have to talk to mom often. If I were the OP, I may even change my cell phone # once I get into college & definitely won’t tell her what classes I am taking.</p>
<p>For now, reducing the tension will help the OP focus on his/her HS classes</p>