MY parents are making me depressed about college admissions

Applying to College
1

<p>MY parents are making me so depressed about college admissions. they are not gonna pay more than 8,000 dollars per year for my college education, which is how much they pay for my older brother. MY IM EFC is gonna be about 11,000 dollars, and most of the colleges i applied to are the 100% need-met colleges. however, i'm very sceptical that they would give me 29,000 dollars a year for four years ($40000 - $11000). especially when they see my father's profession and W-2 (he's freaking chairman of oncology and hematology)...the only reason our EFC is low is because of froegin income exclusion which makes our adjusted gross income about 17,000 dollars...</p>

<p>anyway....with them saying that, they are basically forcing me to go to my instate universiy, which means i gotta live at home. i am gonna be miserable if i have to go to this college (it's in O-H-I-O). i need a big city with lots of culture and people and i think i'll really miss out on college experience and making friends if i live at home...</p>

<p>i've seriously signed up for almost every single scholarship search available and have found absolutely NOTHING (besides like 500 dollar one-time that wud do nothing). i have only found and applied to Ron Brown, which would be very helpful at 10,000 per year, but i dont know if i will get it (african-american, 1400 (M +CR) SAT, 4.25 gpa, good ECs, etc). do u guys have any suggestions on what i cud do or any scholarships...anything!! i'm seriously getting so depressed because i don't wanna go to this college (i wont name so not to offend) and i wud be miserable and hate my life for four friggin years :'(</p>

2

<p>If you really want to go to a city school that you would get a full scholarship at</p>

<p>Suggestions:
Depaul
Temple
Fordham
Northeastern</p>

<p>I dont knowwhere your applying now, but most schools WOULD accept you and give you the 29,000</p>

3

<p>I think you should consider yourself very lucky that your parents are even giving you $8,000, and try to make it work for you. As the above poster stated, with enough research, you can likely find a school that can offer you a lot of aid.</p>

<p>And if you can't...well, bite the bullet for a couple of years, save your money, do unbelievably well and then go to a school you prefer. </p>

<p>Everyone has limitations of some sort and many can't be helped. But attitude can change a lot.</p>

4

<p>It sounds like you are only thinking of outside scholarships. Substantial ones are very difficult to get. If I were you I'd try for academic scholarships given directly by the schools to admitted applicants. </p>

<ol>
<li><p>First, apply to the school(s) you know you can afford. This will be your backup; don't skip this step.</p></li>
<li><p>Use collegeboard.com or whatever resources you have to look up the stats of schools that interest you</p></li>
<li><p>Select ones that meet your general criteria but for which your stats are <em>above</em> the middle 50%. Put in applications to those schools. </p></li>
</ol>

<p>(Remember that the higher your stats are with respect to the general student body, the greater your chances of getting an academic scholarship. Include a state school that is not close to home; at least you wouldn't have to live at home! Make sure to check colleges' web sites for scholarships that you qualify for; some scholarships require a separate application; for most you'd be considered just on the basis of your admission application. Check to be sure.) </p>

<ol>
<li> Wait and see what happens</li>
</ol>

<p>(With your very good stats and AA status, your chances should be very good of doing better than your current plan, probably a lot better. Make sure that whatever scholarships you do get meet your criteria (covering all expenses except $8,000) and are renewable. (If there's a gap, you could probably fill it with saving from your jobs, on-campus employment, co-op, etc.))</p>

<p>I couldn't begin to name candidate schools for you; there are so many parameters besides the ones you mentioned. Your school guidance counselor would be your best bet because he/she knows your situation and how high you could reach. Aside from that, browse the college's web sites and the CC forums. Some schools (Kettering in Michigan for example) have a chart on their web site indicating the exact amount they give to EACH accepted applicant that meets certain criteria. There's a CC thread that lists schools that do that. </p>

<p>If you are a HS Sr. now, get going ASAP! The sooner you apply to schools, the greater your chance of an academic scholarship from them. </p>

<p>Generally people on this forum advise against applying to schools you know you can't afford, to avoid disappointment. But it sounds like you have nothing to lose, so just go for it and see what happens. Really, your chances sound good to me, but if this is for next year, time is your worst enemy - the cutoff for many scholarships is in December. So get going! Good luck!!</p>

5

<p>Check out the long thread in the financial aid forum: Colleges</a> that offer the most merit aid. With your stats, you should be able to find a solution that fits the family budget yet gives you the environment you are looking for. Good luck!</p>

6

<p>There are plenty of colleges that would give substantial merit aid to a black student with your very high gpa and stats. To get these, however,you need to start doing the research right now because you are far behind when it comes to lining up this kind of information.</p>

<p>The historically black colleges like Howard, North Carolina Central and Florida A&M would welcome you with open arms and big checks -- the kind that they already have offered my S, who is a National Achievement semi-finalist.</p>

<p>If you don't want to go to such colleges, then look at places that are tier 2 schools that offer merit aid and have applications deadlines after next week (though some colleges might extend their deadlines to get you.) Just call the admissions offices after colleges' winter break ends.</p>

<p>Perhaps places like Temple (Philly), Clark (near Boston), American (D.C.), Wayne State (Detroit), Augsburg (Minneapolis), Georgia State (atlanta), Loyola (Chicago) would be places that would be happy to accept you -- with major merit aid, too. Fordham in NYC is another place to check out including by taking the time to call the adcoms dirctly after their winter break ends.</p>

<p>Other places to check out are Rhodes (Memphis) and Davidson (small town, but near Charlotte, NC), both of which have sent my S tons of info, and clearly are trying very hard to attract high stat URMs.</p>

<p>I know that some colleges will extend admissions and scholarship deadlines in order to have a chance to snag appealing applicants such as you, so don't be hesitant about contacting the colleges directly and quickly telling them that not only are you black, but you have a great gpa and high scores.</p>

<p>This is why you are so desireable:
"Let's be more specific about the SAT racial gap among high-scoring applicants. In 2005, 153,132 African Americans took the SAT test. They made up 10.4 percent of all SAT test takers. But only 1,132 African-American college-bound students scored 700 or above on the math SAT and only 1,205 scored at least 700 on the verbal SAT. Nationally, more than 100,000 students of all races scored 700 or above on the math SAT and 78,025 students scored 700 or above on the verbal SAT. Thus, in this top-scoring category of all SAT test takers, blacks made up only 1.1 percent of the students scoring 700 or higher on the math test and only 1.5 percent of the students scoring 700 or higher on the verbal SAT. </p>

<p>If we eliminate Asians and other minorities from the statistics and compare just white and black students, we find that 5.8 percent of all white SAT test takers scored 700 or above on the verbal portion of the test. But only 0.79 percent of all black SAT test takers scored at this level. Therefore, whites were more than seven times as likely as blacks to score 700 or above on the verbal SAT. Overall, there are more than 39 times as many whites as blacks who scored at least 700 on the verbal SAT. </p>

<p>On the math SAT, only 0.7 percent of all black test takers scored at least 700 compared to 6.3 percent of all white test takers. Thus, whites were nine times as likely as blacks to score 700 or above on the math SAT. Overall, there were 45 times as many whites as blacks who scored 700 or above on the math SAT. " <a href="http://www.jbhe.com/features/49_college_admissions-test.html%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.jbhe.com/features/49_college_admissions-test.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>So, stop complaining, and get cracking about colleges that will accept you with hefty merit aid. Remember that you also can take out loans to cover any gap, and you can get a job now and during the summers. The average college student takes out a total of $20,000 to cover the costs of their entire college education. </p>

<p>One last thing: The Ron Brown scholarships are for students with major financial ened due to poverty. Don't even bother applying for those kind of things. Apply for merit-based aid.</p>

<p>Thank heavens, too, your parents presumably have given you a nice lifestyle that has helped you get the high scores courseload that makes you desireable. Be thankful, too, that they are willing to help at all with your college education. We see many students here from well off backgrounds whose parents give nothing -- no encouragement, no money -- for their college education</p>

7

<p>"i wont name so not to offend) and i wud be miserable and hate my life for four friggin years :'("</p>

<p>The choice is yours, not your parents. If you end up living at home and going to college (which you shouldn't have to do if you follow my advice), it will be up to you how you adapt to your circumstances. </p>

<p>BTW, I empathize with your plight. My dad was a dentist who gave me nothing for my college education. I learned about this after I got into colleges. I ended up working up to 60 hours a week during the summmer and 30 hours a week during the school year, plus taking out loans, to pursue my dreams. I also had some help from my mom, a secretary, and I will be eternally grateful to her for that help.</p>

<p>You are luckier than I was: I didn't learn about my father's stinginess until after I was accepted, too late to look for merit aid or to apply to colleges known for merit scholarship generosity.</p>

8

<p>i have been reseasrching schools that are 2-tier and ones wherre i'm above the 50%. the only problem is that those schools r schools that my parents would not let me go. if i go out-of-state, they will only allow me to go to the big-name schools, which is what i want also, as superficial as it may sound. i have applied to a lot of schools:</p>

<p>BU, BC, NYU, JHU, emory, u miami, usc, ucla (just to see if i cud get in out of state), ucsb (SB is awesssome), harvard, yale, columbia, northeastern, rice.... all of which offer good aid or the 100% guarantee</p>

<p>so i dunno....i guess the only thing i need to do is look for scholarships, which i HAVE been doing, but are not fidning anything...i just wish my parents would trust me enuf to let me go off to college away from home :'(</p>

<p>man i dont know what to do!!</p>

9

<p>I don't know much about this topic because thankfully my parents agreed to pay for my college education, but when kids were complaining about scholarships and the little money they could get, one of our GCs told us during a class meeting that a lot of the best scholarships are local. I'm not sure if this is the same where you are, but he told us that there were a lot of local organizations who were dying for good kids to give money to. A lot of people look into the huge scholarship competitions, but you might want to look close to home, if you haven't already.</p>

<p>There are a huge number of schools that will offer you a lot of scholarship money; they just aren't the first tier schools--which is fine! There are tons of schools out there you can really shine at and attend for not much money. I can only name you one school, unfortunately, but St. Joseph's in Philadelphia mailed me a letter telling me I could get an almost-full scholarship, and I wasn't even applying. I'm sure that they would be very generous with a high achieving student like yourself.</p>

<p>Sorry, I wrote this before reading your last post. I'm sorry that you aren't allowed to go OOS. Would they relent on this? Parents can definitely suck when it comes to colleges. Mine are threatening to make me go to Notre Dame, but hopefully they'll let that go if I get into another school they approve of. Regardless of where you end up, have faith that you will be successful, and you will be happy--even if you do end up going to NoName, Ohio.</p>

10

<p>If you'll be 18 when you start college, your parents can't stop you from going out of state. They can refuse to pay for it, but if you are willing to do the hard work of making your dream come true, you can find ways of going out of state.</p>

<p>When I taught college, I had a student whose parents threatened to disown him if he went to the college that was his first choice. His mother told him that he would "never meet the movers and shakers of the world" if he went to that college, which she considered inferior.</p>

<p>He got a full scholarship there and let the college know that he would not be able to sign for his dorm accommodations until he turned 18, July of that year.</p>

<p>The college held dorm space for him until then. Meanwhile, his parents were refusing to speak to him! He went off to the college, became of of the top students, met the president of the US twice while he was there (The student even asked the president a question during a nationally televised press conference), won several national writing awards (including one for a column he wrote about choosing his college despite his parents' opposition), and graduated and then chose among several high paying job offers from renowned companies.</p>

<p>His parents (who had never disowned him, and who had started talking to him again after he started college) gave him a graduation party and publicly apologized for trying to get him to go to a different college.</p>

<p>Anyway, your life is up to you. You can choose to follow the path that you want-- and pay the consequences while reaping the rewards -- or you can choose to do what your parents want you to do. Each path will have its painful as well as joyful and comfortable aspects and either path will require some sacrifices and discomfort.</p>

<p>The bottom line, however, is that you are not a hapless pawn. You do have choices.</p>

11

<p>"BU, BC, NYU, JHU, emory, u miami, usc, ucla (just to see if i cud get in out of state), ucsb (SB is awesssome), harvard, yale, columbia, northeastern, rice.... all of which offer good aid or the 100% guarantee"</p>

<p>Remember that "100% guarantee" only means that the colleges guarantee to meet all of your DOCUMENTED financial need. This doesn't mean that the colleges, not your parents, determine your financial need. If the college thinks your parents should pay $20,000 a year and your parents refuse to do that, tough on you.</p>

<p>NYU also does not have good financial aid. It gives a relatively few nice merit scholarships, but is infamous for gapping need-based financial aid by giving students up to $20,000 a year less than their documented financial need.</p>

<p>Also, colleges can choose to fulfill your documented financial need by giving large loan packages, far larger than you may feel comfortable taking.</p>

12

<p>the UC's are not know for finaid -- other than Pell Grant recipients, ALL students will be offered work-study AND loans; sorry, it's state policy. Moreover, the UC's cost ~$40k for OOS.</p>

13

<p>i am allowed to go OOS..... just as long as it is a first tier school with pretty much a full ride minus the $8,000. god i freaking hate loans....maybe i can play up the fact that i am muslim and interest is against my religion (it really is) and so thus i can't take a loan unless they can offer me a islamic loan without interest or else i'll sue or something lol.</p>

14

<p>OP:</p>

<p>given your sn, you might also contact USC...they offer merit aid for NMSF's, but not sure how they handle merit aid for urm's. Good luck.</p>

15

<p>The applications for the big scholarships at USC were due 12/10. Too late for that, but there may be other grants available.</p>

16

<p>Virtually any college that gives you need-based aid will include loans as part of the package. Check tensigh's (maybe "tensighs") back posts to find out her experiences with Northwestern, or PM her and ask her about it.</p>

<p>Typically the proportion of one's need-based aid package that is loans and self help (work study, summer employment) increases every year. </p>

<p>You will not have to accept the loans. In fact, you can reject any part of the aid package that you don't want, however colleges will not add more grants (scholarships) just because you reject their loans.</p>

<p>I don't think that there is any student who initially is thrilled about learning that loans are part of virtually all need-based financial aid packages. I sure was not! However, I think that most students who need the loans in order to attain their college dreams will realize that accepting them is the sacrifice they have to make to make their dreams come true. If they don't want the loans, they always can accept other options like staying home and going to the local 4-year or community college.</p>

<p>Choosing a college is very much like choosing a car. Most people would love to have a high priced car, but they make their decisions based on what they can afford. They usually end up getting something that they are reasonably happy with, but that would not be their first choice if they had unlimited funds.</p>

17

<p>NSM, </p>

<p>If I am under 18, can my parents make me attend a certain college?</p>

18

<p>I think that if you're under 18, your parents have to sign for you to accept a college's offer, including of housing. Check with colleges, though, to find out about this.</p>

<p>Your parents can't, though, make you attend any college because you always can refuse to go. </p>

<p>Of course, if the only way that you can go to college is if your parents will pay, then they have control of your plans. This can be avoided by getting outside scholarships or applying to colleges that will give you hefty merit aid. </p>

<p>Sometimes parents insist on students' going to particular colleges because the parents truly are control freaks. Other times, the parents know that a student is immature or has other problems that make the students' preferred college a bad choice.</p>

<p>One of my older S's friends hated our state and applied and was accepted to schools out of state. His parents refused to let him go, but insisted that he go to our local community college.</p>

<p>I thought the parents were control freaks. It ended up that the parents had made a good decision. The student was gifted, but lazy, had graduated from h.s. with a "C" average in nonhonors courses. He went to community college while living at home and ended up on deans list. After graduating, he went to our state's flagship and excelled, and now is in law school at our state's flagship, which was his first choice university.</p>

<p>His living at home for those two extra years allowed him to become mature enough to handle college without falling into the partying, etc. pitfalls that cause many bright, but immature students to flunk out.</p>

19

<p>OP,
I notice that you describe yourself as a "URM," and in your other posts mention spending a lot of time in Saudi Arabia and Egypt.</p>

<p>If you actually are Arab, you are not considered a URM. Arabs are considered "white." The scholarships that apply to URMs do not apply to them.</p>

<p>While being Arab may be a tip factor at some colleges trying to increase their overall diversity, it's not going to make you stand out as much as if you were black. </p>

<p>Colleges try to have student bodies that reflect the diversity of the US or their state (public schools). Since Arabs are a very small proportion of the US population, far smaller than the 12% of the population that blacks are, there is more interest in recruiting black students than Arab ones.</p>

20

<p>i spend a lot time in Egypt and Saudi Arabia but my ethnicity is African. My father is half-sudanese half-eriterian and my mother was born in somalia but is originally from lebanon</p>