<p>I'm a high school senior about to go to Johns Hopkins University in the fall. I filled out the roommate questionnaire and honestly said that I usually go to bed between midnight and 2:00 AM. </p>
<p>My parents thought that I should have said that I go to bed before midnight so that I will be assigned a roommate who goes to bed early, thus inspiring me to change my sleeping habits.</p>
<p>I think this is utterly ridiculous and unfair to the roommate I get who will have to suffer me staying up long past midnight in order to study.</p>
<p>Do you think it is unreasonable for a college student to go to bed at one in the morning? Frankly, I think that is pretty generous and earlier than what most students go to bed. My parents and I agreed that we would go with whatever the parents on this forum say.</p>
<p>Points to consider:</p>
<p>1) They go to bed at ten PM and think it is impossible for anyone to get only five hours of sleep a night. More than anything, they are concerned about my health and what a lack of sleep might do to me.</p>
<p>2) I get five hours of sleep a night and get good grades.</p>
<p>you parents need to let go (I am a mom, not a student). Whether you can do well on 5 hours of sleep or not is a moot point. You are old enough to make this decision on your own -- and suffer the consequences. That is how you will learn what works for you.</p>
<p>So -- my vote is that you can go to bed (and wake up) anytime you want to. Classes, friends, activities, jobs, etc will all affect your bedtime and wake-up time and it will vary as your life varies.</p>
<p>Stick to your honest answer. An "early to bed" roommate will not be happy when you always have the lights and music on past his/her bedtime. If you are a late night person, you're not going to change while you're in college. Maybe you will when you have to go to work but definitely not in college.</p>
<p>My S is night-owl. He was assigned a roommate who is an early-to-bed, early- to-rise type. While they got along well in other ways, their different sleeping habits were very disruptive to the roommate (S can sleep through anything). College students are known to go to bed later than high schoolers because they can schedule their classes for later in the morning (or even afternoon!). So you are unlikely to go to bed any earlier than you do now.
And as others have said, your parents should stop micro-managing your life.</p>
<p>We were actually at an accepted students day where the woman who is the head of res life said, "Please be sure the STUDENT fills out the survey HONESTLY - NOT the parent filling out what they want the student to say."</p>
<p>Fill out the survey honestly and mail it. Your parents don't have to live in a 10x12 room with you for the next year.</p>
<p>(PS I am a mom. I could theoretically be your roommate's mom. Be honest.)</p>
<p>hellorobot,
You have wonderful parents. As a parent, if this were what my son or daughter had to complain about me, I would feel like I were as successful as could be!
Good luck to you and congratulations to your parents.
You sound great!</p>
<p>Be honest. College students stay up late. It's when they write papers and study. Even a 9:00 a.m. class allows a student to roll out of bed at 8:30 since class is just a short walk away.</p>
<p>As others have said, it is important to answer realistically and honestly, and not what looks or sounds better or what your mom thinks. Frankly, I don't know why your mom has anything to do with this form. It is one thing if she is interested and wants to give an opinion. That's OK. But in the end, this is your freshman year, not hers. And also this is a form for YOU to fill out and mail. I am not sure why she even needs to see it. Once you get to school, there will be plenty of forms and things to deal with and mom is not going to see them. The time to start that process with college stuff is NOW. Can you tell her you appreciate her input and her support and interest. You have weighed her opinions but you prefer to write what you think you will truly be doing next year to be fair to your roommate and only you know what your sleeping habits are or will be. She should not control the information on the form. Input and interest are one thing. But this housing thing now is YOUR deal, not hers. It doesn't involve a payment decision which she surely would have a right to control. But this thing is all yours. If it helps to show her this thread, do so. Your mom loves you. She has good advice to give. Tell her you weighed it but in the end, it is your decision. Frankly, your choice is the better one anyway because it is honest to the future roomie. Otherwise, you are setting things up on the wrong foot to begin. That is why they have such forms in the first place! </p>
<p>(I don't think your parents are ruining your life! However, it is hard for them to let go and turn the reins over to you but truly next year, you will be doing it all on your own....bear with your parents a bit longer but still stand your ground that this is ultimately your decision.)</p>
<p>Definitely be honest. My S goes to JHU also. His roommate's and his sleep habits are not far off, but far enough off that it was just another stressor. S prefers to go to sleep around midnight to 1 am. Roomate goes to sleep around 3 am; starts studying around midnight or 1 am. Made it hard for S to sleep when he wanted to.</p>
<p>As a parent I would say it is absolutely essential that roommates have similar sleeping patterns. So, be truthful about your sleeping habit in your reply. I doubt you can sleep earlier. Most college students in big universities get just about 3 to 4 hours of sleep (if at all) on weekdays. They try to compensate on weekend nights, if possible. It is amazing to see the same kids show up at work at 7:30 in the morning the moment they start to work. Ask your mom to relax. You will be just fine.</p>
<p>BE HONEST! I think some kids might not know how late they'll stay up when they CAN. If you already know, say so! My son is a quiet person but likes to stay up late. His rooommate should know.</p>
<p>Hellorobot, this thread sparked my interest. My son will also be a freshman at JHU in the fall. He is definitely a night owl - I long ago gave up trying to stay awake long enough to make sure that he gets to sleep at a decent hour (his dad and I, much like your parents, are in bed by 10 or shortly thereafter). Unsurprisingly, he has a hard time getting up in the morning, especially towards the end of the week. When he showed me the housing survey, I saw he had specified that he goes to bed after 2AM. I was pleased that he responded honestly (though a bit alarmed by the hour), and hope he can arrange his morning class schedule accordingly. And, I hope he rooms with you, because if you go to bed between 12 and 2, you will be a good influence!</p>
<ol>
<li>You should be honest. It would be difficult for you to study in the dark while trying to be quiet, and it would be difficult for your rooommate to sleep.</li>
<li>Your parents should not have a say in your sleep habits past high school.</li>
<li>Five hours of sleep a night is not enough, but that's not the point.</li>
<li>I know one college student who goes to sleep before midnight and isn't on the crew team (which practices at 4:30 AM). Sleep schedules change during college. Students with morning classes tend to go to bed around 1:30. Parents usually don't understand or like it, but it almost always happens.</li>
</ol>
<p>Be honest. But recognize that you probably don't know what the honest answer is.</p>
<p>Most people's college lifestyles and schedules are dramatically different from their high school lifestyles and schedules (thank whatever deity you believe in -- nobody should ever have to get up as early as most high school students do). No matter what you and your roommate put on that form, it may still turn out that 1) one of you has an early morning sports practice or ROTC drill and the other doesnt; or 2) one of you has his first class at 8 AM, while the other has his first class at 1 PM. The person whose schedule allows him to stay up later may need to take his studying materials elsewhere when the one with the early schedule needs to go to sleep. This is why laptops are better than desktops. It is also why dorms have lounges.</p>
<p>Another vote for be honest. And perhaps the parents want to loosen up those apron strings a bit. For a senior in high school you should be able to decide for yourself (assuming you are home, safe and sober) what time you want to go to bed.</p>
<p>When my son filled out his info for roomate(s) assignments before freshman year, he labeled himself a 4 out of 1-5 scale indicating how social he wanted his environment to be, 5 being the most social. I immediately suggested that a 3 would be better, fearing that he'd never get any studying done with the kinds of kids he'd be placed with. He nicely told me to let him be, that he thought this through carefully, figuring that at his school, all kids would be studious, so a 4 there would be just right. I took my cue and "butt out". And thank goodness I did...2 years later, his three original roomates are still his best friends and they are all extremely compatible. </p>
<p>So, like everything else in this process, all these steps of letting go are really hard, but really necessary.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the feedback! I was basically making the same arguments, but since it's coming from you and not me... :)</p>
<p>Anyway, yeah. I really didn't think it would be such an issue when I brought this up; after all, I had already discussed some of this stuff prior to filling out the questionnaire. But my parents were pretty angry when I told them what I had filled out and while I said they weren't the ones who would be living there, they argued that they were paying for half the tuition and threatened to stop paying if I didn't do what they said because they felt that I would be wasting their money if my grades dropped, etc. Later they conceded they had completely overreacted over the tuition part, but it was pretty unbelievable at the time :\ </p>
<p>danas - Thanks! I usually get along well with my parents so I was surprised by this argument.</p>
<p>bicoastalmom - Thanks, your son sounds cool but I'm a girl so I probably couldn't room with him ;)</p>
<p>So Mom, Dad, if you're reading this? Ready to give up? :D (Also! I totally did not mean to make you guys sound so villainous)</p>