<p>So I'll try to keep this brief... my parents both have advanced degrees from top universities and high-paying jobs (dad: PhD, UPenn, head engineer. mom: Masters, U-M, Assistant VP of a university.). On my applications, we'll obviously look rich, but my parents have spent a good amount of money on my sister. She's a drug addict, and they're pretty much doormats to her and have been paying for rehab/half-way houses/mental hospitals/various legal troubes for her for the last 4-5 years. I think one program was $60,000. On top of that, neither of my parents come from money, so what they've saved and make every year is pretty much what they have to spend.</p>
<p>Anyways, my mom was saying the other day that financial aid will be considered when I'm planning where to go. I really want to go to UChicago, but I've heard they're not as generous as, say, Yale when it comes to FA. So if they see that my household income is in the 200k range, they're obviously not going to give me a lot of money. My parents are pretty good savers and I'm sure they have a good amount of money saved up for me, but it's ridiculously unfair that they've spent so much on a useless heroin/crack/percription drug addict instead of their daughter who isn't a pointless piece of ****. I really don't know why I should even study if I'll end up going to community college. But my mom says to "not worry." Gee thanks.</p>
<p>Ending up at community college is hardly the worst thing that could happen to you. There’s nothing wrong with getting an AA and transferring.</p>
<p>That said, you’re ridiculously overreacting. I’m sure you’ll find a four-year school that fits your interests and budget. You likely won’t be in line for any need-based aid, so look for schools with generous merit aid policies - your stats are strong, right?</p>
<p>Also, your attitude is sucks. Selfish and uncaring toward a family member struggling with addictions. Maybe you should write your admissions essay about how awful your parents are for spending money to help your sister. Bet that’ll open lots of college doors.</p>
<p>If you think you have stats for Yale, does Penn have tuition reimbursement for employee’s family members? What about the school where your mother works? Also I believe that high medical bills are one of the special circumstances that most universities will consider when either calculating financial aid or responding to an appeal.<br>
Does Penn participate in any program that grants reciprocity tuition reimbursement to children of faculty of member institutions?<br>
These are all avenues to explore, all the while keeping your grades/test scores as high as possible to make yourself an attractive candidate for admission or to place yourself in the position of qualifying for merit aid. </p>
<p>**unsolicited piece of advice: Lose the attitude regarding your sister. Wouldn’t you rather have your options along with health and many options and a future ahead of you, rather than the immense challenges and limitations of hers?</p>
If their income is in the $200k range you won’t be eligible for need based aid at any school, even the most generous schools such as Yale and Harvard. If there are high medical expenses in the current or base years (the year FA is being based on, 2010 for the 2011-2012 school year), then they may take that into consideration. </p>
<p>If your stats are high enough to be thinking of Yale then you should be eligible for merit aid at some schools (not Ivys of course as they do not offer merit aid). Make sure you apply to schools that offer merit aid for your stats.</p>
<p>You all keep telling these kids that going to a community college is not the worst thing that could happen. However, I see it differently. So many college age kids who go to local community colleges around here, Ohio, do not graduate. The professors are not as committed to their students, I know I am generalizing but just saying what I have observed over the years. It is assumed that you are low income or that you didn’t have the grades to get into a traditional 4 year school. It is not looked upon very highly and many kids are ashamed to say the go to comm college. Again, I don’t necessarily agree but stating what is a the feeling. I have a sister who is also a recovering addict so I know where this poster is coming from. It doesn’t seem or feel fair that when you have worked so hard and your sibling has done nothing but drain your parents you don’t feel a lot of sympathy. You want your fair share too.</p>
<p>Your parents are doing what they feel they need to do for your sister, and I’m sure sometimes it feels like being good doesn’t pay. </p>
<p>But really, your sister is a mess, and probably miserable/mentally ill, etc. I don’t think anyone sets out to be a messed up drug addict. And no good parent can watch that happen without trying their best to help. Sometimes helping can be enabling–I’m sure if that is the case, it is hard to watch. But just remember they are going through hell too–and I’m sure they love and value you very much.</p>
<p>What you can do to help is look for schools with programs that appeal to you that will be more affordable than U Chicago, so that you have a range of options.</p>
<p>Look for schools with merit aid.</p>
<p>Be grateful that you are not addicted to drugs.</p>
<p>There are a lot of options between community college and U Chicago, cost wise. Good luck to you.</p>
<p>Tell your parents you’d like to sit down with them sometime in the next week (or whatever time period) and discuss college expectations, in terms of finances as well as other factors. This advance notice is good so they aren’t caught off guard.</p>
<p>Tell them you are starting to look at schools, and you understand finances are part of the deciding factor. Will they be able to contribute anything towards your u/g degree, and, if so, how much.</p>
<p>Assuming it is not a substantial amount, talk with them about whether they will be able to take on any loans, and/or co-signing for you to take on loans. Ask them how much debt they think you should take on (advice here seems to be a max of $27k over 4 years).</p>
<p>Ask them if they have any restrictions in terms of geography or any other factors. Perhaps they are assuming you will go to your public state university and you plan to go private. Perhaps they are thinking you will go to community college and transfer. Perhaps they are confident that you will be able to attend one of their universities.</p>
<p>Keep it calm. Just take in the info from them, or let them hear your questions (they may not have answers ready).</p>
<p>It’s not a time for a fight, or emotions. It’s just data-gathering. For all you know, they have a substantial sum of money socked away towards your education.</p>
<p>OP, it’s possible that schools will look at your family’s situation as an extenuating circumstance when calculating an FA package. They also might not. You’re in the same position as any applicant looking for good FA–you have to get in, and you also need to get a good aid offer. UofC might let you in and be generous, or they might just let you in and not offer money. </p>
<p>Apply widely, set a budget with your parents, and make sure you are applying to schools which may offer generous merit aid. </p>
<p>I understand you are venting. It must be frustrating to be in your situation. I can assure you that it is far, far worse for your parents.</p>
<p>The problem is peer pressure, if OP’s stat is top-of-class and her peers all are attending their dream schools, she would not want to be caught going to neighborhood community college with those whom she considers as losers (C students) at her own high school. That would be a disgrace. (I am NOT saying losers attend community college, I merely stating that this is a common belief among some super-achieving kids putting academic reputation ahead of financial reasons)</p>
<p>In OP’s case - her mom is a aVP of the University and she attends community college…</p>
<p>Do your parents have some benefits in terms of discounted or free tuition arrangements? A number of universities do provide benefits of that sort for their employees. There are also tuition exchanges available for university employees of participating schools.</p>
<p>I do not tend to recommend community college to anyone, though they are included in the “local state university” category. There are many different kinds of ccs and some are excellent, others are terrible and many in between with issues but something that can get a student through college level foundation courses. Where I live right now, the big cc is very good, and many people use it, not just for the first two years of college, but because it has some programs unobtainable elsewhere that are very helpful in teaching directed job skills. It is not “settling” to go to this cc as it has a large, complete campus with many amenities. Just no dorms, but there are even ccs with dormitories.</p>
<p>However, I did once in an area where the cc was terrible. You could sign up for a term of classes and when you show up, every one of would be cancelled and you would have to come up with an alternative schedule. The academic subjects seemed to be anemic to me. But, and this is very true, here, my then 50 year old neighbor went back to school there for pre med courses and got 10/10/10 on her MCATs. So much for the quality of those courses. She did better than most kids taking them from some top universities and she took those courses at what is considered a lousy cc. </p>
<p>Back to the OP, however. Like everyone else who might have financial constraints, it’s wise to start your college list with those schools very likely to take you and are definitely affordable. Once you have those in place, then go at 'em for any college including lottery ticket schools. Just understand that when ti comes time to pay, your parents may have limitations and those schools that don’t ante up money of some sort will simpy be unaffordable for you.</p>
<p>As to what your parents want to do with their money; that is entirely up to them. They can the bills into cylinders and smoke them if they so please. It’s their money. The old Golden Rule; He who has the gold makes the rules. It’s none of your business what your parents pay for the care of your sibling unless this is something you are considering undertaking. All that you need to know is what they can pay, approximately a year, and if there are any options that are benefits from their positions that you can pursue. Some of the funds spent on your sibling may be taken into consideration by PROFILE as necessary medical type costs. Maybe not. Something you might want to ask colleges if they do give financial aid consideratin for families with a mentally/emotionally, drug addicted child.</p>
<p>Could it be that you will receive free tuitition at your mom’s school and she would like you to at least consider it? I agree with everyone – leave your sister out of the equation (nothing you can do about that anyway) and tell them to pick a time, that you need to understand better what the parameters are.</p>
I take huge exception to that. I would say that it is the addicted child who is the entitled one.
I had a sister with substance abuse problems due to congenital medical issues. I understand where the OP is coming from. My entire childhood was taken up by my sister’s problems, every holiday, every school event, many regular days. If she knew someone had a special event coming up, like a prom or a graduation, she’d pull a stunt and ruin the day for them because everything was always about her. The behavior worked for her so she used it to get whatever she wanted. That’s what addicts do. They aren’t the nicest people you will ever meet in your life. As a sibling, you can never plan aything, never expect anything – even normal things – because you don’t know what your sibling has in store for you or your parents. And none of you matter the slightest bit to your sibling.</p>
<p>OP, I understand. It’s hard. That’s why there are support groups and programs, to help you get through all this. My advice to you is to keep on doing what you’re doing and make the best possible plan you can for a school you can love and that won’t take huge effort from your parents to be affordable. Start planning now, don’t let anyone’s circumstances influence your own, because yours are special and by getting to college with your ducks in a row you will have scored a victory that most people never experience.</p>
<p>As for your parents, they are dealing every minute of the day with the worry that today is the day that their daughter ODs. That is unbearable. It’s not fair to you, it’s not fair to them, but it takes up every minute of their lives and all of their souls. There’s nothing they can do about it, either. My sister lost her battle and, as a result, I lost my parents. That’s worse than what you’re going through now because you can still have hope. Hang in there, take care of yourself, have compassion for your parents, hope for your sister, and understand that your anger and fear are normal reactions to a horrible situation.</p>
<p>Lammb66, being in academia, I know that many talented PhD graduates who are committed to teaching and learning go on to teach at community colleges. The academic job market is so tight that PhD graduates from VERY good programs end up teaching at CCs, either because they want to work with disadvantaged students or because they can’t get a job at the more competitive places and they really want to teach and work with students. I have a lot of colleagues who are dedicated and hardworking who work at CCs, and most people who go to work at CCs realize that teaching is going to be their primary concern. I also find it funny that you contrast that to the Ivy League…I’m at an Ivy League PhD program and the professors here are far more concerned with their research and their graduate students than their undergrad courses.</p>
<p>I agree with polarscribe…they need to get over it. However, with your parents making $200K per year and being as fiscally responsible as you say, unless your sister is really draining it out of them they should be able to afford more than a community college for you. So before you start saying the sky is falling, talk to your parents and ask them how much they are willing to contribute to your education and what price range you should be looking into depending on that. And start looking for some mid-priced colleges to fall in love with, stat. It makes no sense to dream about Chicago exclusively if all you can afford is Macalester (which is a great school!)</p>
<p>And like someone said, if you can get into Chicago or Yale you should be eligible for merit at second-tier schools. I took a full merit scholarship at a second tier (but still top 100) school and never looked back. And like I said, I’m an NSF fellow at an Ivy League for my PhD. Sometimes following the money is worth it.</p>
<p>It’s hard when a family member is sick and all the resources and attention get diverted to them. It has happened with my in-laws and it is hard for me to watch, and I’m not even a family member.</p>
<p>My son said many professors he had at junior college were far superior to many at his 4 year state university. BTW: My son took summer classes and some concurrent enrollment at JC in order to graduate in 4 years.</p>
<p>Your parents need to be told that they earn tooooo much for you to qualify for any financial need-based aid at ANY school. Also, you mention that they have a good amount of savings. That will also hurt ability to qualify for need-based aid.</p>
<p>So…you need a strategy.</p>
<p>1) Ask your parents exactly how much they can pay each year? $10k? 25k? $40k? $55k?</p>
<p>2) Apply to a few top schools “just to see” what will happen acceptance/aid wise. However, assume that you won’t get aid. These schools often don’t give ANY merit aid, and they only give need based aid (which you won’t qualify for).</p>
<p>3) Apply to some schools that might give you merit scholarships in amounts that would adequately supplement what your parents can pay each year.</p>
<p>4) Apply to a couple of schools that will give you very large merit scholarships in case your family’s financial situation worsens for some reason.</p>
<p>I would reccomend applying to schools that use the CSS Profile as well as the FAFSA to determine aid. The CSS Profile has sections that consider medical bills and care for other family members. I’m sure that if your sister entered a specific program, your parents would have documentation of how much they paid for her to enter that program. Colleges could see that number and decide if your parents’ contribution towards care for your sick sister (because I consider addiction of any sort to be a type of disease, even if it is a disease of the mind in some cases) actually offset a big chunk of what they earn. You might be eligible for SOME aid that way.</p>
<p>Your best bet is probably finding a school with good merit aid, though.</p>