My parents only want to pay for the college my dad went to

Paying for College
1

So I’m currently a freshman at IUPUI in Indianapolis and am currently trying to transfer to FIU in Miami. I went to high school in South Florida but decided to move with my parents to Indiana because I applied for college late and they convinced me that this would be a better choice. My dad is pretty controlling and wants me to live my life exactly how he imagines it (almost exactly like his). He wants me to attend IUPUI because he is convinced it is the best school in the country. He almost tried to plan my schedule for me. He keeps pushing me to be and English major because he is for some reason convinced that writing is my calling even though I’ve done nothing to prove that. So he basically wants complete control over how I live. Once I came here I immediately hated it. I used to live in Indiana and coming back made me feel sick. There is a lot less opportunity here for me and I am very unhappy being here. I am determined to transfer and have already submitted my application. My mom is the only person I’ve talked to and she’s acting very worried about paying my tuition even though its not much more than what I’m paying now. She’s making up ridiculous excuses like “you wont be able to get financial aid” as a way to not explicitly tell me she won’t pay, but to trick me in to thinking theres no possible way I can go.

I basically have no idea how financial aid works. They’ve never told me anything and won’t even help me look for scholarships. I’m willing to start doing this on my own because I really can’t be under their control much longer. They may end up helping me pay, but I need to know what research I can do on financial aid, etc to prove that it’s possible. I have no idea where to start. And sorry for this long winded post.

2

You can’t do this “on your own”. You need to have costs covered. And you can’t do it by yourself.

You’re not going to get much as a transfer. There just aren’t many scholarships for transfers.


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My mom is the only person I've talked to and she's acting very worried about paying my tuition even though its not much more than what I'm paying now. <<<

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Probably not true. You’re OOS for Florida now. The OOS costs for FIU will be much higher.

3

You can read online how financial aid works. There is a FAQ here even, in the threads pinned to the top of the forum.
http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/1486647-financial-aid-faqs.html#latest

If you already applied, then you will get an aid package so you don’t have to debate what aid you will get, you will see. But it may very well be unaffordable.

Outside scholarships take time and energy to find. Start googling. They are usually smaller awards for one year only.

4

To get an idea of what it could cost for you to go to FIU, run the Net Price Calculator at its website. That is designed for freshmen applicants so the numbers won’t be completely accurate for a transfer.

Did you graduate from high school in FL? If so, read the in-state residency policy for FIU very carefully to see if you by any chance do qualify as an in-state resident.

5

@ariacav Did you graduate high school in Florida? If so, is Bright Futures a possibility for you to tap into for tuition assistance? FIU has a deadline of November 15th for transfer student scholarships, have you looked into qualifying for any of those? Call FIU’s financial aid office, apprise them of your situation and ask for guidance. You aren’t the first student with uncooperative parents they have spoken with who was looking to attend university.

6

and English major?

Sorry to be the grammar police, but this typo made me chuckle.

I can understand that you are unhappy where you currently are - lots of freshmen are. But, like others have suggested, it is important to get the information you need to make the best decisions for you.

Your parents sound very generous to me, and they still want the best for you, but most importantly they want you to be happy. They want to know that when you make decisions, you’ll make them from an informed perspective. Since you applied to college very late, and they had to help convince you to attend there, in their minds you haven’t shown that you are ready to make your own life decisions yet. Are you more upset with your Dad choosing your major and planning your schedule? Or is it the school itself? What major are you looking at, if not English?

Remember, it is hard for them as parents to see their child, who is not ready to make decisions, potentially make serious life mistakes.

I think you sound very immature when you suggest that

but then you later admit

But I understand that some of that may just be your frustration coming out.

I am curious how much financial aid, if any, you are getting now, and how much you might expect at the new school. If you are attending college now, getting financial aid, and you don’t even understand how it works, then your mom is 100% right to be worried about how you might afford it. The fact that you applied to transfer before understanding the finances, in my mind, might have been a bit premature. But it isn’t the end of the world.

It is admirable that you have realized you are unhappy and are determined to change your situation. But is there a counselor at your current school who can help you sort things out, and prepare yourself for an important conversation with your Dad?

7

You can “win” this battle and yet lose the “war” if you don’t look long term. Getting to a new college may mean taking on student loans, and those will add up. Your future independence may be in jeopardy if you have to live at home to be able to afford paying off student loan debt.

Think long term. You want to be able to live on your own, away from your parents? Find out the details of your current college finances. Are you signing for loans? Or are your parents signing for loans they expect you to repay? This is important to know now. How much total debt are you looking at having to repay? Get a financial calculator to figure out how much your monthly payments will be to repay this amount. Then look at starting salaries for your desired career. Figure out if you can live on that salary minus debt payments.

If your parents are paying for everything, and you can graduate from college debt free, then this is a huge advantage for you. A huge gift from your parents, and it also puts your freedom and independence into closer reach.

A mature college student will consider all the factors of a situation and keep their future career goal in the center of their vision. What is it you want to do in life? And how can a major at your current college get you there?

The sooner you graduate, the sooner you can move away from your controlling father and make an independent life on your own.

8

BTW…you don’t have to major in what your dad wants. You can add classes or drop classes after he’s seen the schedule…or if he will notice later on, then choose a double major. Or have English as your minor and he may not notice until you’re nearly graduating. lol

What do you want to major in?

You need to deal with reality. You can’t pay for college on your own. Your dad is going to control his wallet.

Some random Q’s:

Is your dad paying OOS costs at IUPUI?

How much are your current college costs? (that your parents pay for).

What were your high school stats?

IUPUI may not be “top shelf” when it comes to univs, but it is highly respected in the region. Employers will be happy to hire grads from there.

Your dad may not want to pay the travel fees back and forth to FL.

9

So, you know I am a big IUPUI fan. But to say it is the best college in the country is an overstatement.

However, I continue to be impressed with @mom2coIIegekids perspective. IUPUI is well connected and has pathways pretty much across the board. In Indiana and Purdue schools.

Max out your opportunity in a pretty cool urban school and see where opportunity lies. Just so you know, the placement rate rivals the bigger schools. It’s really hard to find better.

You mentioned Hating the situation. Please consider getting involved in clubs or a fraternity related to your interest. Mostly remember who is paying for your school. They are offering to pay for a really quality education.

I get that you like South Florida. I might too. But suck it up and Kick Butt at IUPUI. You Parents may have some wisdom, believe it or not.

Maybe what you save will pay for a Masters degree…In Florida. As long as you get the grades.