My Parents Say NO. Will This Hurt My App?

Parents Forum
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<p>Rosy,
As a school counselor, I've worked with many hispanic parents whose children will be the first in the family to attend college. The story you are telling is one I hear over and over again from my students. There are some very real cultural and legal reasons why hispanic families may be reluctant to apply for financial aid. </p>

<p>If one or both parents are not here in this country legally, there is a lot of fear that applying for financial aid will alert the INS as to their status and so they won't apply, even though, as citizens, their children are eligible for federal and state help. </p>

<p>Other families believe that they will have to reveal "secret" financial information to the government if they apply for financial aid, such as earnings made "off the books." </p>

<p>In some hispanic cultures, there is a taboo about borrowing money, so parents may be petrified of student loans. </p>

<p>There is also a strong sense of pride - asking for help is hard for many. Some families, especially those who haven't been to college or may not be fluent in English, don't understand how financial aid works, or are afraid of the process. </p>

<p>Finally, some hispanic parents want to keep their children close to the family and think that if they don't apply for financial aid, their children will stay at home, instead of going away to college.</p>

<p>In many families, more than one of these reasons is involved.</p>

<p>My advice to you is this: think of an adult that your parents respect. It could be a teacher you trust, your school counselor, the minister of your church, even a parent they know who has been through this process. Ask them to talk to your parents and explain that not applying for financial aid is like giving up free money, and that the majority of students these days DO get financial aid - it is silly to pass up money if you qualify for it!</p>

<p>There isn't much that we, a bunch of strangers on anonymous board, can do to help you. But I have found that many hispanic families will reconsider when they have a chance to hear the full story from an adult they know and respect. So, as soon as you can, figure out who you can get to talk to them. I wish you all the best of luck. If you would like to PM me to discuss your family's situation privately, please feel free to do so. I can point you towards some resources that might help.
Carolyn</p>

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<p>Also, nobody knows if Rosy's family will qualify for financial aid. If they are dual income, able to have saved 2 1/2 years of tuition $$, they may be solidly in the middle class & too "rich" for FA.</p>

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<p>I really appreciate the time you have all taken to give me advice.</p>

<p>You’ve given me many good ideas on how to re-approach the topic with my parents. I’m an only child and the first to go to college in my family so this is all new to us. Maybe I wasn’t very clear in explaining my parents’ reasoning but many of you guessed correctly, it is a cultural thing. They are naturalized citizens so legality isn’t an issue. For them it’s about pride, paying their own way and not applying for what they consider to be “government assistance.” </p>

<p>StickerShock - That’s exactly my father’s point of view. With $120k saved for school, 2 decent salaries (plus my earnings from work go straight to savings) we should not be applying for aid. It’s just that every time I research the topic the final suggestion is that everyone should apply for FA even if they think they don’t qualify – which is what made me start thinking that if I didn’t apply it might be seen in a negative light somehow.</p>

<p>However, merit is something they view completely differently. I wasn’t aware that merit aid could be tied into the FASFA, so I think this is something I need to find out more about so I can explain it to them.</p>

<p>The fact that we may be able to get better interest rates on loans by applying for FA is also something else I’ll look into.</p>

<p>Northstarmom – you’ve made a very good point about looking a bit further into the future, I hadn’t even thought about discussing that with my parents.</p>

<p>Carolyn – I can’t thank you enough for your advice and reassurance, some of your points really hit home. I know EXACTLY who I can talk to! I can’t believe I overlooked this!</p>

<p>Thanks again to all of you!
Rosy</p>

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<p>Rosy, </p>

<p>There is a thread that is tacked up on the main College Confidential discussion page which has state colleges that offer out-of-state students in-state tution (usually reserved for some majors). Look at that. Also google "guaranteed scholarships and financial aid" and see if anything there will help you. </p>

<p>One other thing.. If you are working, your parents have 2 decent salaries and they have $120K saved up, you may not qualify for <em>any</em> federal govt grants. On the other hand, private colleges sometimes use their financial aid $ to draw kids to their schools-- kids they want because they are interesting, or from a specific part of the country, or will be a great addition on the field. Tell them they wouldn't want to tie the colleges' hands, would they? In other words, it's up to the colleges to spend the $ as they see fit-- and they may or may not give you aid. If they <em>do</em> give you grant or scholarship $, it will be better than saddling you with loans.</p>