<p>Hi!
Like some of the prestige-whores on this forum, my parents won't let me apply to cornell ED. They can definitely afford it. My grandparents left me a HUGE collegefund.
I really, really, really, really, really want to go.
SO BAD!</p>
<p>But they won't let me.
Why? Because I should be "trying" for places like Princeton.
I absolutely refuse to apply to Princeton. Plus, I couldn't even get in. Trust me. I couldn't. </p>
<p>Basically, Cornell isn't prestigious enough for them.
Which doesn't even make sense because they both went to schools that actually ARE far less prestigious than cornell.
Anyway, how in the world can I convince them that cornell is prestigious enough? I've already explained to them that I want to apply ED and why. They agree with my reasons, but seem to think that WE are going to college. not me. </p>
<p>I wouldn’t suggest applying ED to any college without your parents’ knowledge and consent. If they refuse to pay your expenses because you defied them, you could find yourself not going to college next year. Even if the money your grandparents provided is in your name and you will be a legal adult (i.e., past your 18th birthday) when you start college, your parents could make things very inconvenient for you if you disobey them. (For example, they could refuse to let you come home during college breaks, making it necessary for you to scramble for alternate places to go.)</p>
<p>A better approach might be to explain to your parents why you think Cornell is the best choice for you. Why do you find Cornell particularly appealing? What does Cornell offer that Princeton doesn’t? (Hint: Cornell has seven undergraduate colleges, more than half of which do not have equivalents at Princeton. And even if you choose to apply to a program that’s offered at both universities, as a Cornell student you would have access to a broader variety of electives – including electives that could complement your major – than you would as a Princeton student.) </p>
<p>My daughter applied to Cornell ED, even though her credentials would have justified trying for somewhere like Princeton, partly because she thought that Cornell was a good choice for her and partly because she didn’t want to waste her one and only ED bid on an extreme longshot. I suspect that your reasons for wanting to apply to Cornell ED are similar, but your particular parents may respond more to the first rationale than the second. (My husband and I thought the second rationale was fine, but that’s just us.)</p>
<p>By the way, my daughter is now a junior at Cornell and is still very pleased with her choice.</p>
<p>Explain to them specifically why you think you belong at Cornell. My parents like it when I tell them WHY I want to go to a school…maybe there’s something at Cornell that Princeton doesn’t have to offer? </p>
<p>Show them the stats about how Cornell grads are doing…where they are headed, especially in your career field.</p>
<p>I think most ED applications require signatures from the student, a parent, and a guidance counselor. So, it won’t be possible to apply ED without their permission.</p>
<p>I suggest showing your parents statistics. Does your school have Naviance? Let them see how many students were accepted and how many were rejected with statistics like yours. If your school doesn’t have Naviance, you can find scattergrams at various websites. </p>
<p>Also, you can point out that Cornell’s overall acceptance rate is 21%, but the ED acceptance rate is 37%.</p>
<p>Have you visited Cornell? Have you sat in on any of the classes? Have you done an overnight visit? What exactly is it about Cornell that makes it a good fit for you?</p>
<p>It’s also important to remember that what you are looking for in a school now may not be what you’re looking for in a school in May. Apply regular decision to Cornell and also apply to a variety of other schools. This will give you more options when decision times comes around. If you apply to one school ED and gain acceptance, then all options are off the board come May.</p>
<p>They’re paying and they can DEFINITELY afford it.
In fact, they told me to apply to Princeton ED (they didn’t realize princeton didn’t have it)
I need signatures from my guidance counselor and my parents on the app so I really can’t do anything about it.</p>
<p>I KNOW I won’t regret it. They just are looking for more prestige, prestige, and prestige.</p>
<p>They don’t believe in the whole “ED ticket” thing. Instead, they think college is a game: where I apply to every top one to see where I stand. Then, I pick the highest ranked one out of them all.</p>
<p>I am getting a sense of drama from your postings. How about WAYYY toning down on the emotion and go for the adult-to-adult conversation that would be a good pattern for the next fifty years of interacting with your parents. </p>
<p>Ask them to list what they like about Princeton. Listen carefully. You are modeling behavior that you want them to have. You want them to listen carefully to you. </p>
<p>Ask them to look WITH you at the student profile for Princeton. Do your SAT scores, SAT II scores and GPA fit within their profile? (hard to argue with numbers). It is ok to remind them that the handful of lower GPA students that Princeton took probably were kids whose daddy bought them a library or were kids with some phenomenal skill like Olympic Gold medal something or other. Do you fit the MAJORITY numerical profile?</p>
<p>While you are together looking at the Princeton website, look at your intended major. Is it a strength at Princeton?</p>
<p>Talk to them carefully (no eye rolling, raised voice, sarcasm or door slamming) about what you don’t like about Princeton. What they see as prestige you may perceive as snottiness. Can you be calm and specific about your concerns?</p>
<p>Finally, after some calm, open minded listening to their view, try offering a compromise. Cornell is your first pick. Say that you will do your level best to do an excellent application to Princeton (regular decision) but in trade for your honest hard effort, you want them to support you in an ED to Cornell. Point out that is a better deal for them than you doing a super job (RD) for Cornell and a poor job (RD) for Princeton. </p>
<p>It is a bad idea to make this a force of wills. They remember when you were a two year old and wouldn’t take a nap (even though you needed one). If you make this a force of wills, they will feel they have to stand firm, just as they did when you were two. So the path to success is not to act like a two year old. Go for mature, calm, interested in their thinking and open to their advice – and make a compelling, adult case based on the numbers to make your point.
Good luck!</p>
<p>Collegesgirl:
Naviance is an online system that some HS counselors use with their students to help create college profiles and such. It helps you figure out what careers you should look into and sends you reminders about college application deadlines.</p>
<p>I’d say you should take them on a campus visit to Cornell.
Best campus out of all the Ivies.
My brother is a sophomore there and I go up there almost every month, I can’t get enough of the place. (:</p>
<p>Is there something else that you are in disagreement about – such as that they want you apply to Princeton and you don’t want to – that you could trade with them? I’d try “If you let me to apply to Cornell ED, then I will get my application to Princeton ready while I’m waiting to hear from Cornell. If I don’t get into Cornell, then I will submit the Princeton app the next day.”</p>
<p>(I just saw that Olymom made the same suggestion earlier. So you’ve got two votes to give it a try!)</p>
<p>Your parents may want you to keep your options open–therefore do not want you to apply ED. I agree with susgeek that applying RD to Cornell, while applying to Princeton and any other college that your “prestige-loving” parents want you to apply to is the best way to go. They want you to at least TRY. If you don’t get into any college that fits their tastes, they will know that it wasn’t because you didn’t try.</p>
<p>Judging by the admissions rates of super-selective schools, most people don’t have ANY chance of getting into any of them. Parents are often the ones who don’t have a clue about how tough the landscape is when it comes to super-selective schools. Kids are much more clued in.</p>
<p>If you are right and you don’t have a chance of getting into Princeton or any other schools in that “below 10% acceptance rate” range, after rejection after rejection letter comes in next April, your parents will be BEGGING you to go to Cornell (if you can get into Cornell, that is).</p>
<p>Great idea to have them talk to guidance… your chances are so much better ED, it would be a shame not to go for it if you really love the place. (Assuming you’ve visited it and some of the others, and really thought it all through.) But if your parents haven’t really thought out the ED question, it’s important for them to discuss with guidance…times have changed and ED can be really essential, even for terrific students.</p>
<p>Turning it into a battle is unlikely to gain your goal, so strategize. Perhaps you should shower them with some statistical evidence of why you chances are poor in places they long for and better at Cornell. Give them data on why Cornell is better for you and well regarded by others (use other peoples’ admiration and views of its status–not yours). And give them some facts about ED advantage in terms of gaining admission to highly competitive schools. Use the Common Data Set statistics to show numbers admitted ED vs. regular for several schools they admire as well as Cornell. And if it doesn’t work, just focus on giving Cornell the best possible application. Their intentions are good I’m sure. Parents do the best they can, really.</p>
<p>If you’re 100% sure that Cornell is your first choice, I would NOT recommend waiting to apply everywhere RD. One reason (of many, including the fact that I just don’t like it) I’m not applying to Harvard is because I know if I got in, my parents would want me to go there over a school I’d prefer (and I’d prefer a good many LACs over H). Putting off the argument until April really won’t help you much, especially if you do get into Princeton and you’ll be “giving it up” for real.</p>
<p>Parents may know best, but not always. And how do you know when they’re wrong? Simple: you don’t. So take responsibility for your own mistakes or successes.</p>
<p>Without knowing how your test scores/grades/etc stack up against the admission pool at Cornell or Princeton it is hard to advise. All I can say is that the chances of getting into Princeton are very low, and the chances (potentially) of getting into Cornell are going to be higher (if you are a strong candidate) if you apply ED. As an earlier poster said, the admission rate for ED applicants is much higher than the admission rate for RD applicants. If you are certain that Cornell is your dream school, and you have good evidence that Princeton is an unlikely prospect, you need to have a mature discussion with your parents, show them your research and help them understand your thinking. If they continue to be deluded as to your chances for a more prestigious school, enlist your guidance counselor to work with you in presenting a realistic picture of your options and prospects.</p>