<p>Changing the topic a bit, how do people secure more valuable items, like laptops? Obviously you hope most roommates are trustworthy, but no one knows that when they begin school, so what do you do?</p>
<p>I don't think that a person should have to live in a situation in which they feel they need to lock something up (whatever it is) to keep their roommate from touching it. Some things just aren't reasonable.</p>
<p>Don't take this to mean that I consider this the norm (or that it will happen in your situation; it most probably will not), but I had a similar experience with a roommate. He started taking my food and started liberally using things that I had bought for myself (ie - in the refrigerator). At first I wasn't sure if it was just my imagination, so I started measuring and counting things. Eventually, when I approached him about it, he was very hostile and thought I was just being petty for caring so much about sch trivial things (and he was very hung up on the fact that I actually suspected him of anything). Gradually, as months passed, his behaviour developed, and in the end, he started taking money (small amounts at a time) and by a year's end, he had stolen cars, and as far as I am aware, he is now in prison. </p>
<p>So, what I mean to say is - remember that you have a RIGHT to your things being handled exactly as you wish, and that things are not always as simple as you or others would like to believe they are. Hold your ground.</p>
<p>Daniel
Sure the student has a right to be able to keep their own belongings. However, it''s clear that his roommate is a thief and is not being deterred by things like notes asking the roommate to stop. </p>
<p>Unless the OP can get a new roommate, the OP's only option is to keep his valuables locked up. As your experience illustrates, the OP's roommate may go from stealing small things to stealing money and other valuables. As I mentioned, one of my former students had a roommate who stole and used her credit cards.</p>
<p>Thus, the bottom line is that if the OP must continue living with this person, the OP needs to lock up anything they want to keep. Yes, in a perfect world, this would not be necessary. In this rooming situation, however, it is necessary. Ignoring this reality won't change things.</p>
<p>Oh, I agree, northstarmom. Sorry if it came across differently than I meant. I do agree with you.</p>
<p>I've just been frustrated in the past by universities' and counselors' propensity to just keep encouraging students to "talk about it" and never do anything, no matter how serious the situation - either because a) they think any and every experience is a good "growing experience" and a way for students to learn to live with other people, or b) because they think that both students are actually somehow at fault, no matter what one of them says or c) because they really just don't want to be bothered with having to actually do something</p>
<p>According to my way of thinking, if a student approaches the other student with this and nothing changes, the school has a high-high-high priority to deal with this, and, unfortunately from experience, I've seen situations where the schools just do not want to help and students are left waiting in an unacceptable situation.</p>
<p>So, when I say, "hold your ground", I more mean that if you get to that point, you may have to really stand up for yourself in relation to the school authorities.</p>
<p>"Changing the topic a bit, how do people secure more valuable items, like laptops? Obviously you hope most roommates are trustworthy, but no one knows that when they begin school, so what do you do?"</p>
<p>There are laptop locks</p>
<p>Even if roommates are trustworthy, people may break in or may walk in. Unfortunately, sometimes students get into the habit of not locking their doors, and things "walk" away. Be especially careful during long weekends and holiday periods. That's when lots of thefts occur on campus and in off campus apartments where many students live.</p>
<p>Well...I confronted my roommate and he flatout made up some ridiculous lies. I can't stand living with a thief and someone I don't trust at all, so I just got a room reassignment. The thing that really made me angry was the fact that he actually went through my personal closets and drawers!</p>
<p>Then file a complaint? Isn't that possible?</p>
<p>USC had a student safe pilot program last year. they invited 4 companies to install their product and let the student's decide what they liked and wanted.university safe company was the overwhelming choice. it's a safe designed for college student's, mounts on the wall and is only 5' deep. has a corkboard mirror on the front, a dropslot for mail,cd's ect and you can recharge laptops and cellphones while locked inside. they offered to install these for $105.00 per year per student. it can be seen at notebooksafe.com. the students loved it.</p>
<p>Its still stealing. I try to catch him, then beat the **** out of him then complain and get hin kicked out./</p>
<p>Mikey- talk to your RA/GA.</p>
<p>Also, have you tried writing your name on all your food- that's how my roommates and I keep things straight (though we borrow each other's food all the time, we've known each other three years, so we don't really care anymore)</p>
<p>jim walker, that safe sounds nice but most schools don't allow students to mount things to the walls.</p>
<p>I'd ask him what his favorite candy bar is.....make sure I buy some and tell him that next time he can buy. Also....IF the issue is snack attack then you could create a "common stash" or area where sharing is OK. Shared expense. Take the offensive and then see if you need to go defensive such as reporting him.</p>
<p>Despite being an old thread, I would highly advise against using a webcam. Reason being, you could catch your roommate(s) doing things that you really don't want to see!</p>
<p>Yea I don't think candybars are worth really violating privacy...I would HATE it if someone webcammed me.</p>
<p>This is why people suggest to lay out some ground rules at the beginning. But it's not too late...how much shopping and borrowing could have transpired in a week? Maybe you could initiate a conversation about going grocery shopping, and get around to whether shopping expenses and supplies should be communal or individual. You probably just have a miscommunication.</p>
<p>Candy bar and water...wow your making a big deal out of nothing. Well not really nothing since it is your property but don't go overboard and end up into some huge fight over a .50 candy bar. Just ask if they have seen it most people will admit to it, if they have taken ask them to go buy you a new one. If they say no they do the whole webcam thing and start hiddening more valuable things.</p>
<p>oh ask them if they ever left the door unlok because it could be someone down the hall!</p>
<p>Is this roommate a male or female? Just curious. I did see a really funny thing on a new show it was a combination lock for securing a pint of ice cream. I think most guys would just pinch the whole carton and who but a girl would lock up a pint??? Not being sexist but i had never seen folks put a pint back into a freezer until I saw the freezer at the girl's dorm......lots of pints with rubber bands and names on pieces of paper....i just laughed and laughed.</p>
<p>That sucks, I'm getting along so well with my 5 suitemates. My #1 worry was the my ipod would get stolen, but it turns out that ALL of my suitemates have the same ipod!</p>
<p>I say talk to your roommate and express your concerns first. If that doesn't work, talk to your RA. If that doesn't work, consider moving.</p>
<p>jimwalker, I never heard of the safe program being a success. Housing said that it was so few students who used it that they cancelled it this year.</p>
<p>k, please dont use a webcam for something like this. that could just be offensive and it's a little over the top. I mean it's not like you think your babysitter might be abusing your kids. this is just water and candybars...</p>
<p>just be like, "dude have you been eating my candybars???...uhahahahahaha" and just keep laughing until he laughs too and admits to it</p>