My SOP

Graduate School
1

<p>I compared my SOP to my frds' and feel mine is pretty bland and weak.
Can someone please read it and give me some suggestions?
I am mainly looking for financial engineering/ financial mathematics programs.</p>

<p>I seek admission to the Ph.D. program in Industrial Engineering and Operation Research. My research interests include credit risk, financial risk measurement, conditional value-at-risk, stochastic control, convex programming and their applications in Finance. I want to study under the guidance of Professor, , and. My knowledge in Mathematics and my experiences in running my family’s real estate company will add a unique interdisciplinary touch to the Industrial Engineering and Operations Research program here at UC Berkeley.
As an underrepresented female student in mathematics, I proved my talent in quantitative science. Throughout my undergraduate study in Applied Mathematics at UC Berkeley, I built a strong foundation in Linear Algebra, Numerical Analysis, Real Analysis, and Probability theory. I am especially interested in mathematical proofs because of their conciseness and logical flow. My enthusiasm and hard work in Math have been rewarded. Professor Michael Klass called my proof beautiful in his Real Analysis class of Fall 08. According to the Berkeley Math department’s statistics, my GPA ranked at the top in the Math department.
Since my sophomore year, I joined the research group to conduct investment risk analysis for my family company’s new project every summer. My work experiences in my family company inspired me to seek knowledge in Finance. Promoted by my passion and curiosity in risk analysis, in Spring 09, I took a graduate level Financial Engineering course. In that class, I learned to use Black-Scholes model to generate non-arbitrage prices for financial instruments and how to use Monte Carlo simulation, binomial and trinomial lattice method to determine prices for various options.
I understand programming skills are necessary for graduate study in Finance; therefore, I prepared myself throughout my undergraduate studies. In my C++ class, I was the only female student and my grades ranked NO.1 in class. In fall 2007, inspired by my interests in Finance, I extracted stock prices from Yahoo finance and built a database of N x N matrices with entries of stocks’ names, price changes, and trends. Users of my database can search for updated information of their selected stocks and calculate the standard deviation and mean values. Additionally, my database could also calculate price change of stocks in Asia, U.S., and Europe, and generate a world map which represented increase, decrease, and no change, by red, blue, and white accordingly. In my Numerical Analysis class, I mastered my skills in Matlab, and produced codes for various numerical algorithms.
I am interested in academic research and the development of my research skills. During Spring 08, I was the only student in the Berkeley Math department who was granted a research scholarship for my independent Mathematical research. Currently, I am working on my honors thesis on arbitrage with Professor xx. We proposed to design a mechanism/financial environment where the sure profit from the strategy increases with the amount of money invested up to an upper bound.
I gained additional insight from my rich internship experiences. Last summer, I interned with People's Insurance Company of China, in the actuarial department. In that company, I evaluated the nature of various insurance products by analyzing previous data, and applied different methods of calculating reserve money accordingly. I have also attended many finance conferences, including one hosted by Harvard University last summer
My career goal is to use my knowledge in finance to convert my family business to a listing company. The Berkeley IEOR has always been my dream graduate program because of its experienced faculty. I had a great experience completing my undergraduate courses here at Cal and it will be a great honor if I can continue my graduate study in your department.
My programming skills, undergraduate courses, internship, and research experiences prepared me for graduate study in Finance. Although it will be challenging, I am very excited about the next phase in my preparation for a career in Financial Research. Through graduate study in the Berkeley IEOR department, I will make significant contributions to financial research. I will also share my knowledge and resources to assist future Cal students to achieve their career and academic goals.</p>

2

<p>It seems direct and blunt. Maybe you could try to add some transitions so that the ideas flow more smoothly. I know that’s vague advice, but I hope it helps.</p>

3

<p>I agree, this seems a lot like and extended resume. Very boring to read. </p>

<p>Also, is it necessary to mention things like the “only female in the class”. Maybe it is just me but I do not see how something like this is at all relevant to potential as a grad student.</p>

4

<p>My question is how professional do I have to be in my SOP? I want to talk more about my research and internship but I am not sure whether everything I say is theoretically correct. I am also modifying my SOP for econ programs and I haven’t taken many econ courses. I am interested in studying how frictions (irrational decisions, and governmental policies) affect the market but since I am a math major, I am not sure if my ideas sound ignorant.</p>

5

<p>Judging from your past posts, I would think about postponing your applications to graduate school for PhD. Consider the MA route if you really want to go somewhere next fall.</p>

<p>If you don’t have enough background in econ to “really” know the field in order to come across sounding like you’ve got some grasp, then don’t apply to econ programs until you’ve taken more seminars. </p>

<p>If I were you, I would scrap this whole SOP. Re-write it and focus on your research ideas and questions that you’d like to explore as a doctoral student. Have a professor or two look at your statement and make comments. You want to repeat information a little as possible. If it’s already mentioned on your resume/CV/transcript, you don’t need to say it in the SOP. Don’t waste valuable space.</p>

6

<p>Hi ticklemepink,
I am mainly applying to masters. Berkeley PhD is different because they admit everyone as a master.
I wrote another one for financial mathematics and it’s totally different.
Here is it</p>

<p>My interest in finance began in high school, when my stepfather was expanding my family business in China, and tried to convert it into a listed company in Hong Kong. Accompanying my stepfather, I visited many financial specialists and administrators from the Chinese Academy of Social Science and Chinese National Bank. However, after learning about the procedures and details, we had to postpone that plan due to my stepdad’s inadequate knowledge of finance and quantitative science. From that time, I set my goal upon studying finance and transforming my family business into a listed company in the future. </p>

<p>I am involved in the research group to conduct investment risk analysis for my family company’s new project every summer. In my sophomore year, my family-owned steel company faced a dilemma in strategies for expansion. Some consultants suggested updating the machinery to reduce operational costs. My group, on the other hand, believed that we should invest in metal mines to obtain a stable supply of raw material and control its costs in the future. My stepfather accepted my proposal, and now my family owns five iron mines in Xinjiang and Shanxi province, with potential net value of several billion USD. </p>

<p>My work experience in my family company inspired me to seek more knowledge in Finance. Driven by my passion and curiosity in risk analysis, I took a graduate level Financial Engineering course in Spring 09. In that class, I learned to use Black-Scholes model to generate non-arbitrage prices for financial instruments and how to use Monte Carlo simulation, binomial and trinomial lattice method to determine prices for various options. Currently, I am working on my honors thesis on arbitrage with Professor Ilan Adler. We proposed to design a mechanism/financial environment where the sure profit from the strategy increases with the amount of money invested up to an upper bound.</p>

<p>The Boston University Financial Mathematics program has always been my dream program as your school features a vibrant academic atmosphere characterized by in-depth academic discussions and debates. Additionally, the city of Boston has the greatest concentration of academic and research institutions located close to leading world center of financial industries. I am confident that your program will help me acquire comprehensive knowledge and cultivate critical thinking skills in financial mathematics. My undergraduate degree in Applied Mathematics at UC Berkeley and my experience in running my family’s company will add a unique interdisciplinary touch to the Financial Mathematics program here at Boston University.</p>

<p>Upon admission, I intend to research on Stochastic Method, asset pricing and market frictions, financial risk measurement, credit risk, and arbitrage and completeness of financial market. Through graduate study in the Boston University I will gain in-depth knowledge in computational finance and will make significant contributions to financial research. The Alumni Network of Boston University will also expand my horizon and help me to build strong career connections in the future.</p>

<p>After my study at Boston University, I will work at the Bank of China in NYC, an offer that I had postponed for two years. The Bank of China highly values my background in China and my study and working experiences here in the U.S. There, I will work as a financial analyst and a negotiator between the Bank of China and other financial institutions in New York City. I look forward to gaining firsthand investment knowledge through collaboration with leading financial firms in NYC. In the next 10 to 15 years, I will use my work experience and knowledge in financial mathematics to transform my family business into a listed company on Wall Street. In addition, I will also share my knowledge and resources to assist future Boston alumnus to achieve their career and academic goals.</p>

7

<p>And I asked several professors to read it already and they said it was good, solid, right tone. I am shocked that it’s so poorly rated here. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t like it myself either but I wonder why nobody told me it was bad before.</p>